SLEEP

I don't get sleep. It is just a fact of my life after my wreck. It is not that I don't have the opportunities. I actually do some nights. It has to do with pain and the inability to lay in one position for more than 5 minutes without moving. I deal and get by and think nothing of it really.

The problem is the television. It started 15 years ago when I worked midnights for the Sheriff's Office. I worked 12 hour shifts~ 6 PM to 6 AM and to drown out the noises of my newborn niece, I started sleeping with the television on. It is a horrible habit. Funny thing about it is I can hear anything out of the ordinary even though it is on. Brinkley calling me in her sleep, Pudgie tossing a strange way or the wail of the pre-vomiting Jax.... I still hear it.

The other problem is when Tommy doesn't sleep because of the television. I knew it was gonna hit the fan this morning when I walked downstairs and the first thing I hear is..."can you at least put on the news...I couldn't find the remote." Then it all came out.

"If you have the news on, I won't care what is on." Ok I can understand that. Then the funny part of the, one sided conversation began.

Tommy said,

"I know you thinks it is funny but when I wake up and Steve and Kelly are trying to figure out which house they are going to buy, I need to know if it is going to be the modern one, the craftsman or the spanish style on House Hunters." At first I laughed....

"Then I can't go to bed because I need to know if they are going to pick green or red for the living room on Color Splash. After all, it would make a huge difference with the brown couch." WHAT????

"Then, I need to know if the single mom from Baltimore is going to get pre-qualified for the nicer condo she loves or the low budget town house she could deal with." OKAAAY, he is as bad as me now.

"Finally, I need to know if there is shipping and handling on the push up bars and if the payments are going to be 2 at $24.99 or is it really 3 at $24.99.. because you know they always knock off one payment on the infomercial if you pay for it on the day that you watch the show." RIIIIIIIGHT.

By the end of this conversation, I nearly wet my pants from laughing. He really didn't sleep and seriously got into HGTV at one o'clock in the morning.

I guess I will have to sleep with my i-pod in my ears.. or better yet.. his SWAT earplugs..... then I would never have to get up with the baby or restless kids in the middle of the night.

Life 101

It seems like everyone I am close enough to call family is having a hard time with Life. Whether it be with their husband, boyfriend, family or their friends... things are hard. Not financially or jobwise... heart wise. I hate when people get their precious hearts hurt. I didn't like it when mine was crushed to pieces and I cringe when those I love are being crushed just the same.


I am watching a 19 year marriage crumble right before my eyes and while I understand the "stand" that needs to be taken and the strength that needs to be found to get through the rough waters that are looming ahead, I hope that what my family has to offer will comfort their family.



I am watching my youngest and probably best friend, in the oddest way, find her way out of a "one hour old" relationship, as I refer to it, that has devastated her and taught her things that no one should have to see with their own eyes. I find her asking me things about my life and my family and my marriage that has me thinking and thankful everyday.



I could never imagine the things that have to happen in the coming days for these girls. I am lucky that way.



My family is far, far, far, from perfect, but man, the five of us together are simply PERFECTION, in my eyes. We are far from wealthy, but we are RICH in LOVE and LIFE and LAUGHTER in this house. There are no split second abilities to run off on some crazy travel adventure... but we make new ADVENTURES in our Life every single day. We have learned how to overcome SUFFERING and found ways to EMBRACE heartache in our house. Somehow, our Life's lessons are finding their way into others' lives and helping them along the way. We have learned how to STRUGGLE through the hardest things that Life can throw our way and CHERISHED the wonderful days that seem to be the simplest.


I am glad that our family is one that someone can learn a lesson from. If it is a hard life lesson that it pushes one through and they emerge stronger from it or they find some answers from Tommy and I.... I am glad and proud. We are not your conventional family. We are not typical. We don't do things like the Jones's and we don't follow the Smith's.


Everyday we learn new lessons and sometimes we eat our words... and that is good. Simply stated, we are making it day by day and that is all anyone can ask of anyone.


So for my family and friends that need the shoulders, the hugs, the open door and the friend that won't judge or criticize.... our door is open... always... and you can come on in..... Just don't look at the toys on the floor or the dust on the tables.... we have been really busy living and learning and laughing... Oh and riding all our little tikes ride ons in the middle of the night... down the center of our street!!!!

I AM........

Strong and spirited. You're no one's girly girl; actually you are very determined person with a strong sense of self. Never let go of that! The only thing that equals your sense of self is your family, but the traditions of society can always be bent to protect something or someone you love.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Thanks Trish... I didn't want to take this but was soo curious!!! Pretty close... If only I had answered the color question different.. hahahaha

9

Yep, 9!!!

9 long, disgusting, tedious, tiresome, exhausting, sad, gross, fever-filled, barf-covering, snot-running, sore-throath, coughing, hacking, tears-spilling, liquid diapers over-flowing, crappy, crappy, crappy, sick days. I told my wonderful friend, whom I am going to lunch with tomorrow come hell or high barf... that my children need to be vomiting up their lungs, through their ears, for me to cancel my day with her..... because I really don't like this family right now.


I know that sounds harsh, mean, sad... call it what it is.... I am sick of everyone being sick and tired of everyone being tired. This mom crap is overrated this week and I am praying loudly tonight that the last of the fevers is gone in the morning.... because it came back late tonight and I just wanted to cry. There has been no winning with this virus that has attacked my poor beautiful children and it is really affecting all of us.. Well not so much Daddy... but he has those darn SWAT earplugs and leaves for work when the going gets tough.


So for anyone that sees me daily... I am seriously apologizing for anything mean or nasty or rude I have said in the last couple of days... I seriously couldn't tell you what I have eaten, who I have talked with or what I may have said to you, what the date is or if I made promises to anyone in the past week about somehting that may be coming up in the future.


I even went as far as to pick up Brinkley from school yesterday...

AT THE WRONG TIME!

Can you say BRAIN OVERLOAD?

STILL GOING..

YES, THAT IS RIGHT... THE SICKNESS IS STILL GOING STRONG. NOW IT IS DOWN TO JAXI. JAXI AND HIS 102.7 FEVER. MAYBE TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY! (IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE THAN IT HAS BEEN!! YES, I KNOW... I JUST JINXED MY LIFE BY SAYING THAT!!)

THE COST~

OUR WEEK OF SICK FAMILY MEMBERS IS STILL NOT OVER. BY LATE LAST NIGHT, ALL FIVE OF US WERE NOT FEELING WELL IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. BRINKLEY HAD COME HOME EARLY FROM SCHOOL AND BY 8 PM JAXI WAS VOMITING WITH HUGE TEARS ROLLING DOWN HIS FACE, BEGGING FOR ME TO HELP HIM.

THIS MORNING FINALLY BROUGHT ON A LITTLE RELIEF. THAT WAS WHEN I WALKED INTO MY LAUNDRY ROOM AND NEARLY FAINTED. THIS IS WHAT 5 FULL DAYS OF A SICKLY FEELING FAMILY OF 5 HAS LEFT ME WITH OR WITHOUT, DEPENDING ON HOW I LOOK AT IT!!!!

27 HUGE AND VERY DIRTY SWIMMING TOWELS THAT CAUGHT ALL KINDS OF FLUIDS

72 SIZE 6 DIAPERS... HE IS 2 AND POTTY TRAINING... THAT IS ALMOST 15 A DAY.. NO WONDER HE IS RAW!!!

A TOTAL OF 10 POUNDS LOST BETWEEN ME, JAXI AND PUDGIE

3 EMPTY GALLON BOTTLES OF BLEACH

6 LYSOL CANS

A GRAND TOTAL OF 17 HOURS OF SLEEP IN THESE 5 DAYS FOR ME

17 LOADS OF LAUNDRY TO CATCH UP ON NOW

4 BATHROOMS THAT NEED SERIOUS DISENFECTING AGAIN

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE... EVERYONE EXCEPT TOMMY WOKE UP SMILING AND IN GOOD MOODS TODAY. POOR DADDY HAD TO GOTO DEFENSIVE TACTICS TODAY AND WAS JUST A MISERABLE MESS!

What a day....

Do you ever have those days that seem like they are never going to end? I am having that day...except it has been for the past two and a half days. It is never-ending.

I have so many posts I wanted to get up on our blog. I am behind on my Mother's Day post, my exciting Vegas news post and a very special post on Jaxi and Grampie Frank. Why am I behind?????? Let me tell you...

It all started at 11:45 PM on Tuesday night. I, of course, was late getting to bed so I had been asleep all of 5 seconds when I heard Pudgie's bedroom door slam. That means he is awake for all the world to know. Problem was, he never gets out of bed that late..or early depending on how we look at it. I knew.......

The second I got to him.... spewing from his sweet little mouth was a beautiful shade of pink macaroni and cheese. I am so lucky... it all went down my shirt and in my hair rather than on my carpet. I rushed him into his bed..... which was also beautifully covered in pink now... and hurried to change and clean this heck of a mess. Only then did I realize that in all the hub bub to get this little man into a big boy bed... I only have one fitted sheet for his bed... two mattress covers though.....CRAP!

We made due and for the next 7 hours Pudgie learned how to barf into a plastic cup or the fish bowl. He thought it was a game and became really good at it!!!

I made the huge mistake of attempting to goto the bathroom at 5 AM . HUGE. I found Pudgie, all of 10 seconds after I ran from his room to my room, standing in Jax's room......puking. WONDERFUL... spreading Joy where ever he roams I suppose. The day continued just the same. A 40 minute nap was deemed futile. Just when I thought maybe, just maybe, we were getting over whatever it is we have..... along comes the liquid diapers. UUUUGGGGHHHH! Wednesday became a day of sheer pain for Pudgie. I could tell his little tummy muscles were just beat from all the dry heaving and now his little dupee was raw. There was no winning. Food was a huge no-no, which we didn't know until 11:00 PM Wednesday night when up came broccoli and fruit..... and more liquid diapers. This little man is just miserable and can't catch a break.

Luckily, he is resting now. Hopefully a little rest is just what the Doctor ordered.. seeing as that I have carpet to clean and towels to somehow bleach the heck out of.....from the last diaper mess that was all over his bedroom floor!!!

Maybe tomorrow I will catch up on my week.... Or not!

~VEGAS PICS~

THIS IS TOM'S LUCKY DICE SHIRT AND BOY WAS HE LUCKY ON THE TABLES THAT NIGHT!!!!
WHAT AN AWESOME WEEK WE HAD. I HAD TO THROW IN THE PICTURES OF THE NEW BRIDGE GOING OVER THE DAM AND THE RIVER. FIRST OFF, I HATE BRIDGES OR CURVES WHERE THE FREEWAY AND MOUNTAINS COME TOGETHER. SECOND.. FOR ALL YOU ENGINEER TYPES... THIS STUFF JUST AMAZES ME.... AND FRIGHTENS ME ALL IN THE SAME SECOND. TO WATCH THOSE CRANES AT WORK AND THE PSYCHO GUYS THAT ARE ON THEM... KUDOS TO THEM....

VEGAS BABY!!!!

WE ARE HOME.... AND THEN I ALMOST ABOUT FACED AND WENT BACK TO VEGAS. AT ANY RATE.. SAFE, SOUND, AND SUPER RECHARGED... WE ARE HOME... AND WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS IS NOT STAYING THERE!

I WILL BE POSTING SOME OF OUR EXCITING NEWS SOON... AND NO ... I AM NOT PREGNANT!

OUR SEMINAR WAS AWESOME AND BASICALLY OPENED A NEW DOOR FOR ME... POSSIBLY..... A DOOR THAT JUST MAY BE THE ANSWERS I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING 6 YEARS FOR AFTER MY WRECK. I MAY HAVE FOUND THE "WHY." .

TOMMY AND I DID A TELEVISION INTERVIEW AND MET SOME WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND I CAN'T WAIT TO START A NEW PROJECT AND POSSIBLY, CHAPTER IN OUR LIFE!!


MORE MORE MORE TO COME.. I PROMISE!!!!

~WHAT HAPPENS...

IN VEGAS........STAYS IN VEGAS!

MOMMY AND DADDY ARE ESCAPING THE ASYLUM!

A LITTLE WORK AND A LOT OF ......

HECK I JUST MIGHT STAY THERE IF I GET MY GAME BACK!!!

HAPPY HONEYMOON TO US! 10 YEARS LATER!!!!

I HAVE LITERALLY CHECKED OUT OF THIS FAMILY EARLY.. I DIDN'T EVEN BAT AN EYE WHEN PUDGIE TOOK PINK SPARKLE NAIL POLISH, THAT I USE ON MY TOES, TO MY SUEDE BENCH IN MY BEDROOM TONGHT!

YEP.. I AM THAT FAR GONE!!

AN EARLY THANK YOU GRAMMIE DIANE AND GRAMPIE FRANK FOR THIS NEXT WEEK! WE LOVE ~ LOVE ~ LOVE ~ LOVE YOU!

~ A Perfect 10 ~

It has never been EASY, although, I can't say it has been hard. Some days are easier than others, no doubt about it. Some years more eventful than others...and not always in good ways. Everything, no matter how bad, has always turned out good for us... no matter how we needed to spin it, in order to get there.

I would just consider all that good, bad and indifferent "stuff," icing on my, "proverbial" cake of life that I live.


10 years ago Tommy and I were married.


I am not gonna bore anyone with the typical "Oh... May 2, 1998 was the day I married my best friend..blah blah blah...." stuff. Everyone says that. Tommy will agree, I am not at all like Everyone or, anyone for that matter.


The truth is....

I married a hot cop that loved to: work out, ride motorcycles fast as fast can be, lay in bed all day on Mondays with me, hold my hand in public, kiss me long and hard like there was no one around (and if there was, he couldn't have cared less... he still doesn't and that is cool), Christmas shop.... on a whim...in July, wrestle me, clean our Glocks together, go shooting together, crash cars together, compete for stats with me, get dressed up together..and undress each other.... dance with me in kitchens... (didn't matter who the kitchen belonged to), snuggle in jacuzzi's, make grand entrances together, sit and do nothing together, work hard together, survive the impossible together, and best of all......

I made the first move... and he thought that was cool. Seriously, I made the first move...call it trashy, classy, cool, uncool, bad, good, awesome, progressive...... whatever. I knew I loved this man the first time I saw him. I waited for the most appropriately inappropriate time in both our lives and I went after him....in ways I have never gone after something or someone..... never fully expecting what I would get in return. Maybe he already knew what he was getting himself into.

You see, Tommy married a bad girl. There is really no way to sugar coat it so I will just admit it... and so will he. I went against the grain on everything a girl "usually" is and a wife "probably" should be and we fit together like a perfect puzzle.

We still do... even better I think.

Where these last 10 years have gone, I don't know. For all that we have been through together.....it seems like yesterday we were just starting down our own little road of life. I do know that we have come a long way in 10 VERY SHORT years.

We laugh, We love, We cry, We smile, We talk, We shout, We agree, We respect, We listen, We learn, We teach, We share, We give, We take, We scare, We surprise, We trust, We sigh, We live, We whisper, We tickle, We help, We hurt, We heal, We play, We kiss, We hold tight to what we have ........ and nothing is more important than US.

We have always kidded that for every single thing good that has happened to us, we have suffered a loss. While it may not be entirely true, it is 99% right on for us. We have lived and survived and become stronger for it all.

From year one to year ten, it has never seemed that hard, now that I look back on it. While things, at different times, may have seemed devastaing, sad, good, bad or they just down right sucked, today, for me, it just seems like it has been......

A Perfect 10!