~E*L*E*V*E*N~

Eleven years ago, I didn't know shit. Seriously. At least when it came to love and relationships. I was a good cop. That I knew. Love and matters of the heart, I thought I was with it.. yeah, right..... I am a person with 6 failed engagements under her belt. What does that tell you? I guess the half full girl in me says that I made awesome decisions and at least I don't have 6 failed marriages right? I just knew I was the hopeless romantic that wanted the fairy tale but I was not about to be a flippen princess, cook or clean and my prince better like a chick in BDU's carrying a gun and cuffs. (And a girl that loved to fight) Finding that boy was harder than it sounded. I was not about to cater to men, demean myself into being the perfect housewife and I sure as heck was not giving up my career to care for a house. I was not that typical girl growing up... dreaming...

I was a super Tomboy growing up. No Barbies here. I was all Tonka trucks, rescue squads, fire trucks and of course, police cars. I played football with the boys, raced and jumped bikes with the boys and even played with the snakes and bugs with the boys. I hated girly stuff. Dresses were for the girls that I would beat up and frilly stuff was meant to put on dolls, which I did not have.

Suffice to say, I was not a girl that ever dreamed about a wedding. I didn't go and oogle the dresses in the windows and I undoubtedly never bought a bride magazine for the future. That was never something that I felt was, "in the cards" for me. Now don't get me wrong. I dated and dated, and dated, but marriage? Me? Nah! Although I became engaged 6 times before I actually got married, I was never intending to marry any of those men. Not because I was using them, the luck in my life during that time was that every single time I thought I had found the right person to marry, the minute I said yes, they changed. I am talking SERIOUS changes.

One guy told me that it was time to quit working for the Sheriff's Office now that we were getting married, because girls just don't do that kind of work (WTF?), one thought that I should pay his bills since I made more money than him (again WTF?) and the last one was a raging-closet alcoholic, until he proposed. Then decided to tell me, after he gave me the ring, that it was not uncommon for him to slam down a 12 pack of beer, every night. SWEET! I was on a roll .... going nowhere fast when it came to men and marriage.

I was actually fine with that though. I had fun. I traveled and really couldn't complain because it wasn't like I couldn't get a date. Then, as things go, I saw him. Like I described last year, I saw Tommy at work and it was purely love at first sight for me. No one on earth mattered to me anymore and I had planned to stop at nothing, to have this man....and when I want something, I ALWAYS GET IT!

Eleven years later, anything and everything we have been through has been worth it. All the sweat, the tears of joy and sadness, pain and happiness, babies and miscarriages, houses and cars and trucks and family fights and death and life and love and loss. 100% of everything is what has made us who we are, where we are, and what we are today.

Suffice to say, Tommy and I have been to hell and back in the past 11 years. We have watched loved ones die, lost a baby, lost a career, gained 3 babies, two new houses, 6 new cars, lost our only dog, gained a new puppy and a kitten, lost friends, gained friends, lost weight and gained muscle, found happiness in the little things and never forgot what was important no matter how good or bad things have gotten. We have agreed to disagree about stupid things, fought over family issues, given in to egos and figured out that in the end, those under your roof are all that matter.

I often tell Tommy that, to this day, when he holds my face in his hands and kisses me, I still get butterflies in my stomach. When he laces his fingers into mine as we walk together, my heart still skips a beat and when he holds me tight and puts his chin on top of my head as he hugs me, right before he leaves for work, I simply melt into him. I whole heartedly love this man for so many more reasons than I could ever possibly list:

*I love that he only wears my favorite cologne (or any at all for that matter) when he and I are together.

*I love that he wears his wedding ring at work.... all the time. (Many men use the old "I might have to jump a fence and my ring could get caught and I could cut my finger off" excuse not to wear it.)

*I love that no matter what the reason for the arguing or fighting or yelling and screaming, Tommy takes my side over the kids and makes them realize that they need to respect us as their parents and the decisions that we make.

*I love that he puts himself last over all the needs of our family. (No matter how small they may be)

*I love that our workouts are a huge priority and we do them together.

*I love that he puts our family above everything, including cleaning the house.

*I love that what everyone else is doing is of absolutely no concern to him.

*I love that he is a realist. He talks about what happens in real life with our kids. He tells them the truth about the bad things we have both seen at work and he never sugar coats things. We talk drugs, DUI's, family fights, dead-beat dads, guns, and real-life because that is what happens all around us, every single day!

*I love that he always works at being a better Dad, Supervisor and husband.

*I love that he has finally learned that I need space and to not make me feel guilty when I want to get away.

*I love that he still gets jealous when other guys notice me.

*I love when he notices me.

*I love that we laugh together about everything.

*I love that we still spoon each other when we fall asleep together.

*I love that, just his touch, sends shivers down my spine.

*I love that, no matter what, he always kisses me good-bye. (Even if he is just going to get a haircut)

*I love that he always kisses me good-morning. (Even at the gym)

*I love that he is not afraid of public displays of affection and is not afraid to offend those that are.

*I love that after 11 years, he is even more attractive to me, than the first time I ever laid eyes on him.

*I love that when he kisses me, he kisses me with all that he has, and it still takes my breath away.

*I love that just last week, when I brought up wanting baby number four, he said, "absolutely, I will have as many babies with you, as you want!"

*I love that he is the only person that knows when I am in severe pain and is always willing to help me in any way humanly possible, to feel even the slightest bit better.

*I love that he is not afraid to cry with me, for me, in front of me or if he is really hurt. (It is usually my fault when he does and in the end, he forgives me for being such a dink!)

*I love that he is not one of those guys that needs to, "go out with the guys," on a weekly basis. He will only go to the ball game or whatever sporting event it may be, if he is taking his family or his kids are playing in it.

*I love that he doesn't need toys like so many men I know.

*I love that he has been patient with me for the past 7 years over my inability to come to terms with my motorcycle accident.

*I love that he is so flippen' handsome in his uniform that he takes my breath away.

*I love that he would give me the world if I asked for it.

*I love that he has forgiven me for all of the stupid things I have done over the course of our marriage.

*I love that he is always thinking about our future and the future of our children.

*I love that he learns from his mistakes and admits them.

*I love that he still believes in good old fashioned spankings and refuses to bargain with any kids to get them to listen.

*I love that he tells me that I am beautiful.

*I love that he knows me so well that he refused to listen to the women who told him, in addition to the presents he got me, he should get me flowers or something else because I would not really like all 11 bottles of deliciousness he got me . Stupid women. I could not even express how proud of this man I was to bring home these awesome presents and the coupons that came with them!!!

I could go on and on but in the end, nothing I can write will describe how much I adore the man I married 11 short years ago. I love this man like it is no ones business. We are polar opposites in some aspects and identical twins in others and I really think this is what makes it all just ease on by for us.

When Tommy and I decided to get married we both agreed that, although marriages take a lot of work to keep them going, WE never ever wanted it to feel like we were working at it. I didn't want us to dread going out to dinner or snuggling together on the couch like it was another job that we hated spending time at. I mean seriously, why be married if that is what it is like. Luckily, we have never fallen into that category and I know that we never will. I love that our marriage is absolutely effortless.


For our big weekend together, Grammie and Grampie Jensen agreed to keep all three crumb-snatchers for us!! (Thank you - Thank you, especially after having two of them Tuesday night and all day Wednesday as a special Diamondbacks treat!!) Most will laugh, but I did a ride a long with Tommy's squad last night. I know it sounds corney but it is what it is in our family and we just make it work with whatever comes. I can not tell you how much laughing and immitating we did, about all the drunks that were being arrested!

Tonight is ours, together, and only ours. To be honest.. I don't care what we do, as long as we do it together.

I Love you more than anything Tommy.

I always have and I always will!