Gettin Away~

I like to think I am really blunt. I try not to be overly mean about things but I don't necessarily beat around the bush and sugar coat things in life to too many people. Life is too short to not live in the real world.

So, this weekend, we chose to push me, a little over the edge, and back into the real world. Saturday was the 8 year anniversary of my motorcycle wreck. As Tommy says, "it really is a Happy Anniversary and if people would stop and think about it before they say how sorry they are that the day happened, they too would understand why I am happy about it, every year!" At any rate, I have neither celebrated, nor have I sat wallowing in the, "what could have been," for my life, since that day. It is what it is and some days, that just sucks.

I have, however, physically and emotionally had difficulties actually being in a vehicle and going and doing something. Physically I would nearly get sick and emotionally I was just a shell of a person staring into space thinking about what I would do if I had to actually go somewhere.

We decided last year that we needed to get back to our tradition of going up to our favorite cabin, in the snow, with friends and spend the weekend sledding, playing games, watching movies, laughing and freezing, thawing out, refreezing, getting breathless, and snuggling up to the ones we love and adore most in the world. I didn't even flinch when I made the reservations for this weekend. I actually had forgotten about the date and didn't remember until Tommy brought it up. Ewww I had serious second thoughts about going. Especially when there were bad travel conditions, snow in the forecast and I had been sick. I could have made up a thousand more excuses but it was time I suck it up and grow up and get past the past. It will haunt me forever but I am stronger for it! Yep, that all sounds well and good and I can talk a mean game, but in reality, I cry about it, still. And to answer this question for the 10,000th time,

"YES, I MISS IT EVERY DAY. THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. IT ISN'T LIKE I LEFT ON MY OWN TERMS AND IT ISN'T LIKE I SUCKED AT MY JOB. I LOVED IT, I MISS IT AND I ALWAYS WILL."

So with all this put deep into the back of my mind, we made plans and we stuck to them. Except for the fact that the entire family slept late... until 10 on Friday morning.... Ooops, but dang, the park the night before was just too much fun and I wanted the kids to enjoy the night.......... sooooooo.....

Friday we set out on our "family and friends trip" to the snow and I didn't look back as we headed north. The kids were jumping for joy that we let them take the entire day off of school. Dozer was itching to go play with her friends, "the pigs," and I just needed a break from life as I know it in our house.

We were counting the seconds to get out of the truck. Justice was itching the minute he saw snow... unfortunately it was an hour before the cabins. Once we got there, it seemed like a millisecond before the kiddos were hill bound on discs and sleds going mach three with their hair on fire. I have to admit, Pudgie is our dare devil who laughed the entire way down the hill, air born, and landing, or I should say, face planting at the bottom of the hill... and rolling with that baby laughter all the way back up. He loves the snow. Jax and Pudgie belong in the snow. They spent more time out there, together, than all 12 of us put together. It was just awesome!

Friday night we learned how to play Texas hold 'em. Well, Tommy and I learned how to play it. Everyone else plays it and plays it, "well to competition-tournament-awesome." Me, I am a blackjack and craps player, but a gambler through and through so I take learning the art of gambling extremely seriously. Tommy had a 'lil too much to drink and ended up losing his shorts. I, on the other hand, lasted to the final two. Not too bad.

We really just had a great, great weekend. I readily admitted, on Saturday, it was the anniversary of my accident and I left it at that. No tears, no deep breaths, no aches in the heart. Just plain and simple... 8 years ago something really, really bad happened and 8 years later, our life is really, really good. I have more important things to worry about then the, "what if's of yesterday," that I have held way too tightly to, for so darn long.

We seriously have enough things going on to make me crazier than normal so I need to let all the insignificant things just go, from here on out. Yep, the grudge~master has to just give it up!!!! We are really busy.... Jax needs to be ready for his 4th grade presentation on the who's who in Arizona, he starts hands on tackling next week during football (God, please let this little boy get healthier and feeling so much better so he can make it to school and practice and maybe give him a break on the whole growth spurt thing that is going on with this little man...... Seriously..... he can't keep growing so fast because it is just making him so sick that he can't handle it!!! THAT AND...HOLY MOLY HE IS EATING ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME BY LIKE 10 TIMES THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF FOOD THAT HE EATS...) then there are the awful things that Brinkley will have fly out of her mouth that I will have to smooth over and then there is Pudgie.... whew.... that boy is running me ragged and I love it. I am sleeping like 3 hours a night and most days I feel like I'm in a daze but that is pretty standard. Then there is," THE," boy who is plotting out life on a time line... our life, and I have got to keep things in perspective while trying to make the house:

calm enough to study in
clean enough to live in
comfortable enough to laugh in
and homey enough to be, "us," in...

all while we stay on Daddy's path, without driving each other nutso.

So here's to letting go, moving forward, loving today, growing and holding it all together, at least from the outside!!!!!

Another great weekend of insights and fun and love and laughter and learning!!!!

Some warm moments from our chilly-cha-cha-get-away weekend!

It may just be me, but doesn't she look like a Mi from the Wii? You know the leg less and arm less ones that bowl?