The 4 F's

When I graduated from the sheriff's office academy, one of the speeches that a Deputy Chief gave has always remained, word for word, in the back of my mind. I never really mentioned it to Tommy. The need never really arose I guess. Not until two weeks ago.

Tommy started contimplating switching squads. It may seem silly or strange that it would be a tough decision but when you work at keeping each other alive on a daily basis, it is a big deal. HUGE! They had already formed bonds and Tommy had healed some broken parts of this squad so it was a dilemma that Tommy had never really faced before. Tommy and I really didn't even talk about it too much. He told me that he had a list of pro's and con's that he made up at work one night. I still thought little to nothing at all about it. I am of the attitude that no matter what, we will adjust and we will get by...EVEN IF I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!

I started to see a struggle going on with him. He had committed to one year on his squad. He told this group of amazing people that he would stay for at least a year and he meant that. Then, as all things do, something changed. Promotions were taking place, retirements were happening, special assignments became vacant and there was a ton of movement. A spot was going to open and it meant more family time at home. He immediately put his name in to be transferred. His squad was not happy... most of them immediatley put in to transfer as well.

I finally told Tommy the story of "YOUR WINDOW" that my chief had told me.

All your life you will make decisions, go far in your travels, find fame in your career and hopefully find peace in your family. Don't let one over-shadow the other. Keep your window panes in perspective and know that there are really only 4 panes to that window.

Your first pane is your FUTURE. Your career can sometimes become that future. Don't let your career run your life. It will feed you and put a roof over your head but don't let it be your life. As all things do, your career will come to an end, and you will have to move on with your life. Have a life after your career. Make your Future count.

Your second pane is your FRIENDS. Everyone needs friends. Keep them close and confide in them. You will need people to talk to when you see things in your career that may haunt you. FRIENDS are important!

Your third pane is filled with your FAITH. Your faith, no matter what it is, will guide you and keep you strong. NEVER give up your faith.

Your final pane is your FAMILY. You are not lucky enough to get to choose your family but be grateful enough to know that your family is always there to support you through everything you will encounter in your job. Family always comes first.

I took that window everywhere with me. Even when I left the Sheriff's office for the police department.

Tommy didn't discount it. He didn't say much until he explained priorities to his squad. He told me, that when the transfer orders went through (beyond quickly for his department) he explained to his squad that his family is his priority. Hugging his babies at night and kissing them good-morning had to come first, no matter how committed he was to making this squad the best they could be. They finally understood.

I am lucky. My husband has always had his priorities straight. He is not a man that needs a "boys night out." That, to him, is a family of 5 at Peter Piper and yes, that includes his 2 girls. His family is always number one. Sometimes our kids don't see that and don't understand the things we do because our priorities are what they are... but they will one day.


Tommy does not ask for much. He likes nice things, but don't we all. He is one to drop hints and joke but for the most part.... Tommy just wants a happy, healthy family and tons of LOVE.


So with our new days together... You can bet you are gonna get a lot of family time... Tons of LOVE and a lot more health ...

AT........

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