Expect Nothing~

Tom has noticed it a lot in the past 4 years or so. Maybe even longer. It wasn't until recently that I noticed it and finally started getting a little upset about it.

Tom has a harsher way of putting it. I think it usually sounds something like, "You are always getting screwed. You do everything for everyone and no one ever helps you and you sit back and take it." Then there is the ending sentence of, "You never used to be like that." It grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. Most of the time I do things as an example to our kids. Or because I truly want to help someone that really needs the help. Then there are the selfish times that I just want to make myself look good in the eyes of Jax and Binky since they can understand these things. Lately, NICE is biting me in the dupee and I am just about ready to kick NICE to the curb.

I usually blow it off. Usually. I am not sure why it is bothering me lately. I take the brunt of a lot of family matters. Somehow I get blamed for a lot of things that happen and then no one talks about them. Could be because I have a serious issue with sugar coating the truth of a matter on anything to protect someones precious ego. I don't know. I know why I am finally at the boiling point, which I most likely will not even write about but I am sure a friendship is going to end over it. That will be my choice too. I'll pretty much live with it and get the heck over it by morning and life will go on around here like nothing ever happened.

I guess one person can only get, "screwed" or "used" or "HELP OTHERS" so much before they actually think, "When are you going to make good on all the crap I do for you?"

I don't even know if I will post this but it makes me feel better to at least write about it today. I usually have no problem helping pretty much anyone...with just about anything. Seriously...some of my best friends have always known that I would be sitting right next to them in a jail cell if need be, supporting them, if it ever came down to it. (I did always think it would be awkward to be sitting in a jail that I would book people into...thankfully that never happened!!) Not today though. I don't know.. what ever the problem tonight...I have always said, "God graced me with very strong and broad shoulders that can carry a very heavy load." Well my shoulders are a little tired (and not because of Crossfitting) of bearing the brunt of some false promises and some fake friendships.

AGGGGHHHHH! Boy do I feel better already!

I guess the saying is true..."Expect nothing in return and you will never be disappointed!"

Pretty sad!