Crazies.....

I just finished reading two books in as many days. My favorite character of all time seems to mirror my life some of the time. I relate well with the craziness of the, "Stephanie Plum, By The Numbers," books. She attracts all kinds of crazy sitiuations.

Me? Well, I on the other hand, I just attract "the crazies." Seriously.

I think it is a gift.
Maybe an art.
Tommy questions whether or not it is just me that is crazy and I am the one that finds them to talk with. Maybe because I will talk to:

Anyone.

Anywhere.

Anytime.

Usually.... about.....

Anything!

I joke around and say it is because I have too little adult interraction on a daily basis. Tommy says it is because I am exactly like my Dad. He could talk paint off a wall....... Huh! Either way... I still find all the crazy people and usually, or as of late, it seems that they congregate right in front of my own house.

I actually found a buddy through, "a crazy." Or maybe I attracted that crazy and fate made me search my new buddy out because of a rumor they were related. I don't know. But crazy called the animal control on us a little over a year ago, after I had so nicely told him to, " F - off" after riding his bicycle in my yard, and getting my Tigger dog upset. From that day on, my kids referred to him as, "tatted out dude," because he had sleeves of tats on his arms. (Gee, wonder where they learn these so very politically incorrect terms?) At any rate, first crazy tatted out guy was really nothing for me to concern myself over. (Except I was ticked off)

Seriously.... Some people attract attention in ways that I am dumbfounded by. Lady Gaga has her outfits to get attract people to her (if that is what you want to call them), Pink has her way awesome PINK spikey hair to attract people to her....... Me, on the other hand, I am not so lucky to have a reason for my attraction of people. For an unknown reason, I am absolutely sure, after this week. that I simply am just attractive to, "the craziest of people."

(Ok, that, and now I am also absolutely positive that: some people need a license to bear the brats they have so easily created, and then, found it even easier to intentionally choose not to supervise..... more to come on that)

At any rate....... I am a crazy person magnet!

So I come to this week. Starting the week off great was a priority for me. It was Jaxi's birthday on Monday and I was not even going to be home all day to celebrate with him. I just wanted him to have a great last day of break by playing with all his friends.

You see.... I had to make it to a Dr. appointment by 1:40 (way, way, way, far from our house) or I was going to hit the 5 day mark without more than 2.5 hours of straight sleep at night. I was on day 5 of this and at my proverbial "wits end." With my previous post about being a better Mom, I have had to keep myself in check and relax. This is much easier said than done when my pain levels are through the roof and meds are not working. At any rate..... .....onto the crazies......

After being gone 90% of the day, I came home to my birthday boy and Binky playing with all their toys outside with all of the neighbor kids. I love that I can trust them outside when I am busy. They are just good munchies. They follow the rules and tell me when something has gone, oh, let's use the word, "ASKEW,' when I am not there to see it.

Hence, the story that unfolded when I pulled into the driveway with Justice, at 3:30. The first thing out of Jax's mouth is,
"Mom, they are shooting us with a BB gun."
"A what?,"
was all I could get out. All at once, 8 kids start telling me how one of the boys brought over his real BB gun and the other child is shooting all the kids, at random, with this gun. Of all the kids on this street, this child chooses mine to shoot with a BB gun? SERIOUSLY... could this child be more "in trouble?" I would call it dumb luck that he randomly shot MY kid. Some might call it, "the shit hitting the fan." At any rate..... I made the first child escort me to his house, since in all the times he has chosen to play on our street, no one has had any idea where he lives, who his parents are, or even what the heck his name is.

Needless to say, I was over the edge and flippen TICKED off. You see, the kids go to other moms when they are hungry (that's right... Jax's mom doesn't bake the cookies), other moms when they are hurt (I tell 'em if they ain't bleeding they are fine), but me, I get the stuff that borders on law breaking and dangerous. Hence my response when, brilliant-numero-uno-child-in-trouble tells me, "it's not like I hurt him!" I immediately snapped, "You are just lucky that you did not hurt my child because I could break your flippen neck right now for saying that to me." (Darn it, my tone was ....ummmm.... that of anger and I pretty much yelled, but, I didn't technically break my cop-out of using a lower voice for the new year, since it wasn't my kid I was now on the verge of strangling.)

Thankfully, child #1 takes me to his house and I talked with his, "more than receptive," mom. She was very nice. Although she made some statements that I would put into the, "Oh heck no you did not just say that and make the whole stupid woman label fit you," she was very understanding about how upset I was and promised that it would not happen again. (Now, I think most would agree that know me.....if it were my kids that were out randomly shooting kids that did not have on the proper protection for BB guns, they would not be able to sit down for a month, but that is just me.....And I still have no idea what kind of BB gun this was because the next, "rocket scientist," Mom couldn't tell me if it was an air soft gun, one that requires the CO2 cartridges or even give me the name of the gun)

When I got back to my house, boy #2 had already hidden the gun so I demanded he go home and bring his Mom back so I could talk to her. I honestly did not even think he would tell his mom about the incident so I was utterly speechless when she driving up my street, on the wrong side of the road, none the less.. and squishes her way out of her car with an over exaggerated greeting. Oh man... let me tell you..... if you did need a license to bear babies, she would be permanently revoked.

Mom jumps outta her Mercedes that is about 5 sizes too small for her frame, shakes my hand with a squeeze that she might have thought would either impress me or scare me and proceeds to tell me that it is "only" a BB gun and you can't put "real" bullets in it, as long as everyone has eye protection on (which no one but the BB gun shooters had) and a vest on (again, none of the kids had this either,) there is no problem...blah blah blah. I seriously had to just stop listening to her and just watch her lips move. A woman like this is the reason why I do not have a lot of female friends...... I hate IGNORANT women who talk out their ass. It is hard enough for women to prove themselves in this world, without this kind of "help," from someone, like her.

I had to agree to disagree with her reasoning and just end the conversation with, "your child is no longer welcome to play on our street anymore." Off she drove. In a huff. Jax came up to me and whispered, "Wow, I thought you were gonna have to take her down or something. It looked like she wanted to fight!"

Not 5 minutes later, along comes parent number 3. I could feel all the kids staring and there was a sudden sucking in of all the surrounding air. They were all holding their breaths as Daddy to the first little guy, approaches me. He is, of course, tattooed up and down both arms and walking like he has a score to settle. All I could think was..."GREAAAAAT here we go!!!!!!!!!!!" I am pretty sure the kids were now taking bets on something bad happening with this one!!! Sometimes first impressions are dead on.

Dad proceeds to introduce himself, shakes my hand like a normal human being and then sternly tells me how he does not appreciate me talking to his son about real guns. HMMMMM.......... I literally crossed my arms right there and bit my tongue....... intentionally.......Are you freaking kidding me? His little boy obviously lied about what was said and to whom, but that was neither here nor there because Daddy tells me that he has guns and knows all about them and the laws. I had no doubt he knew the laws. I am sure at some point he had lived in a jail and had become farmiliar with the feel of handcuffs. I'm just sayin'.........

Biting my tongue, biting my tongue, smiling, nodding, smiling... ok I had had enough of his "knowledge."

I actually tried to calmly explain to, "Mr. gun expert Dad," that little "it is only a BB gun, gun" can sometimes look like a real semi-automatic rifle and people have been shot for holding, "less real," looking guns. Again, it was like talking to a rocket scientist about sex. Complete blank expression and no clue where the rocket was supposed to end up!

I was dumbfounded at all the parents and their simple disregard for any of the safety of "the kids" that, "their kids," could have hurt. Sadly, I was not that surprised once I found out that one of the boys comes from a broken home and the other is rarely supervised when he is outside playing. That, and when he does come to our street, there is no one supervisiing him.

Hmm. Maybe I am the one with the parenting problem.

After about 15 minutes of conversation, Dad and I shook hands again and agreed that his little boy would have to wait a month to come play with my kids. Although, I really can not speak for the families on our street, I did it anyway and it appears that most people won't argue with my decision.

I never did find out exactly what kind of BB gun it was. All rocket-scientist mom would blurt out so intelligently was, "it just looks real but you put BB's in it, not real bullets." NICE!

Now, a few days after the fact, I started thinking that maybe it is just me and I need to let go of my kids a little more. I was the only parent that was upset .... Although, I was the only parent they told.

Friday, the 8th... 4 days after the fact.... this happened.......................... Guess what kind of "gun" he had! I guess I am not being as stupid or over protective as I thought.