FRUSTRATED~

Today has been one of those days. Nothing has been wrong, yet, nothing was going right. Maybe I just woke up in the wrong bed, at the wrong time, with the wrong warm body, half on top of me. Just a thought. Damn DOG!

Lots to do, not enough time and one little person who did not want to cooperate no matter how much I bribed him today. I made it through the Wal Mart experience with a little child, on foot, in record time, but was still agitated. I wish my parents lived closer and actually wanted to keep the grand kids for play dates and sleep overs.... so I could function. AAAhhhhh, another post for some other time.

When all was said and done, bags unloaded, sans help from the littlest agitator of the family today, I sat down on one of our conversation chairs in a, "humph." The chair proceeded to whistle at me, squeal with delight, vibrate, "zooooom," "zing," and burp.

I burst into tears.

I tried with every ounce of what was left in my, "glass is half full attitude and way of life", to just laugh. It didn't work today. I was just fried. The candle was burned at both ends and the wax had just dripped its last drop in the middle and my flame was instantly extinguished, with the tears of, "who the hell knows where any of this is coming from!!!"

Mental shutdown!

I lifted the pillow to find 6 Zhu Zhu pets, "hidden," from little Pudgie hands, by the big sister who has a really hard time letting Pudgie share toys she knows he will ultimately just break.

Why did we buy a 4 bedroom house?
At this moment... it is about 3500 square feet of wasted space.
When did my kids decide hiding toys behind pillows is the same as putting them away?

I think I am a misunderstood Mom today.

I am definitely on the, "BAD WIFE," list tonight. I broke the ultimate promise in our marriage and I just suck and regret that in a way that words can not even explain.

I read a friends facebook post the other day. It was the epitome of the, "super truth," in my mind.

"CLEANING YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU STILL HAVE LITTLE KIDS IS LIKE SHOVELING YOUR WALK WAY WHEN IT IS STILL SNOWING."

Ain't that the truth? Or not. Kelly's and Ruth's houses are magnificently spotless. You would never know that there are kids living in their houses when you walk through the front door. I would eat off their floors. Funny thing is, I absolutely love cleaning. You would never guess that. I have always loved cleaning. I have a total habit of putting in the movie Bad Boys II and getting into the groove of flying through the motions of getting the house presentable. I love to run the Dyson over and over and over the carpet. Carpet lines get me all excited. Dusting is awesome. Scrubbing the tile is awesome. I love the smell of a clean house. Not antiseptic clean, but deliciously fresh and clean scents. For whatever reason, I have not been motivated to do this lately. I need to get my rear-end out of this insane funk I am in.

Friday night was my, "I am so done with this family and the laziness and one nameless little girls mouth that I started zinging shoes when someone talked back, refused to clean something up because it was not theirs, or because I got a nasty, "look." If I were food, I would be completely well done. Probably, a burnt to a crisp charcoal briquette, to be honest.

I explained that I would not tolerate their lack of respect for me or their father any longer. They were completely confused about the context of the word,"respect," when I used it with the word chores! I went into detail and very loudly and explained how: refusing to do their chores, having to be asked 40 times to do the same daily chore they have been assigned for 3 months, Mom having to finish their chores for them, having to wait for, "just a minute," and the chores never actually getting done, watching all three kiddos walk past the same piece of garbage or little piece of paper on the floor.... for a week, without picking it up and throwing it away because let's face it... they never saw it! I am sure all of these things are old hat for everyone. The excuses stay the same and the issues never change. I think it is a childhood ritual and then a rite of passage when they finally, "GET IT!"

This has made me start hitting the crossfitting and other forms of working out again. I need it. I am getting agitated way too easily, and, as of late it could turn nasty on the wrong person if I don't get up energy transferred into some form of good exercise.

Thankfully I am starting the "Best I Can Be" challenge on February 1st. It is not all about diet and losing weight. It is about being a better ME. Eating better, listening to myself, doing things for Me that are good for me and living better.

I am sure this is gonna get me going in the right direction!!