Fingers crossed, again

Ahh another Sunday.

One still sleeps. Which is probably better since he crawled into bed about 0530 this morning... and we were not exactly on speaking terms last night, when I went to bed.

I vented. Not about him or anything in particular..... yet everything under the sun.... just typical MOM stuff that everyone deals with and gets tired of and wonders when it will get through to everyone.......and how many times I need to repeat myself and ask to pick up this and that and, well, you get the gist. I vented... and it turned ugly and now, well, now he sleeps, and I finished my first workout of the day only to come in and find the dog chewing a pack of gum, my little munchies playing Madden '11, while eating everything that they shouldn't, for breakfast. It is Sunday so I will pick my battles wisely. I am going into hiding.................................and no one will care or miss me.

I retreated to Jaxi's hole of a blacked out room. Container of strawberries in one hand, rented movie and computer in the other. I can hide out here all day. No one will notice I am not in the room until there is a fight of some sorts over something inconsequential. For now I get to relax and re-evaluate and plan and plot. It was somewhat ironic that I read an article this morning about the reversal of jealousy that a mom felt about the stay at home mom that gets to spend lazy days of summer with her kids and how she would love to be able to choose a lunch date after the summer movie morning rather than trying to find every available summer camp, under the sun, to ensure her son was safe and having fun....... while she went to work everyday. I miss those days. I used to feel like I was accomplished and that I was balancing everything perfectly. I can't say that I feel like that I accomplish much of anything anymore. I have been told my balancing act isn't so spiffy and well...... my organizational skills are truly lacking, again and again I have been told. Makes for one happy Mom!!!! Funny thing is, everything and everyone else in this family is balanced and supremely organized, thanks to my dysfunciton of not being able to get my own act together.

The kids have all their school clothes in color coded order. Pencils are in color coded order, papers are filed, projects in the calendar, toothpastes in order of which child uses which paste, food is organized by snack preference, and backpacks are hung by the garage door with care. Daddy's clothes magically appear in drawers and on hangers, under armors are miraculously waiting on the railing to be carted to work....daily, food finds its way into lunch boxes and money into wallets..... and on occasion... the tooth fairy even remembers to make fairy dusted appearances.

They are all organized and ready to roll every single day. Maybe that is my biggest downfall. I organize them so well that I can't even fathom attempting to find a care in the world big enough to organize mine. I am figuring that it is about time I do that. We are finishing up three really, really trying weeks and things may just actually start to fall into place in this house.

A little dude woke me up this morning... again.
I took it as a sign that I needed to get moving in order to earn the lazy Sunday we all need.
The sweat felt really good this morning.
I was sucking air hoping that I didn't pass out.
It cleared my head and I am pretty sure it wiped out my bad attitude.
I hate running but it brought out the high I needed to kick my own self into days ahead.

I already feel like the week is in the bag and I can get another workout in tonight.

Keeping my fingers crossed that this all works out the way I am planning it.....