Lately..

It seems like the more things change ...... the more they stay the same.

Unfortunately it is not always good and it somehow, isn't so bad. I think that makes it ok.

We are under the gun to get everything ready for school and summers end and camp and life. Lately it seems like everything is a race against life. Or with life... Or something.

Cook better to be healthier to workout harder to look better to feel better ... for life.
Practice patience to be more respectful and kinder to each other ..... for life.
Forgive each other and certain people so that they can learn to let it go .... for life.
Teach them that we are always here for them, even when others are not .... for life.
Leave expectations of family behind in the dreams and make up for them .... for life.

Grouchy...

That would be a great way to define me lately... that is, if I were not so bitchy.

I think that bitchy fits me to a "T" and I deserve to be, rightly so........

This summer has been all about the kids.. as usual. And I mean that in every sense of the verbage.

We have not had any kind of vacation. We do hit the water park at least once a week, for the kids. I told them that we would do season passes since vacay is on hold. Ahhh, vacay hold, that is our new lingo in our house. Thankfully that has not really put a damper on anyone, except maybe, me.

You see, we actually are feeling this sacrifice. Brinkley got her braces and we gave up on going anywhere cool, as in temperature change, or "cool," as in grande ship awesome. Strangely though, we do not normally go on a summer vacation so I am not sure why I am grumpy....er I mean bitchy about it. (I am thinking that it really has nothing at all to do with the vacation stuff) This summer has been filled with work necessities and the possibility of a new promotion/job change.. CAUSING SOME.... MORE THAN SERIOUS... TENSION AROUND HERE and then there is the whole school thing for him as well. While it seems that we have done absolutely nothing, we have all been going none stop, technically.

I think that it is me that is antsy. My workouts have fallen way far out of my grasp most days, then I start to get back to the swing of things and have them fall away again. School will help with the schedule and regimen and planning. I think I may have to join a gym again just to get outta the box that is this house. I am really starting to hate this house. Maybe because I never leave it... and when I do I still have someone attached to me. Maybe that is why I dread certain parts of summer. I work very hard not to, "overly plan," things, just because I want the little critters in this family to relax and enjoy summer and love being together... while I kinda bounce off the walls not really knowing how to relax anymore.

The boys have grown extremely close to one another. I anticipate this to be even more so next week when the sister is gone away camping. Jax is getting so excited to have Justice at school with him. I can't even write how much they adore each other. There are no words anymore. I have even gone as far as to allow Jax to babysit Justice so I can run errands. Things are definitely changing in this house. Even more so, in the next few days.

Miss Binky is preparing for her first trip to camp. Out of town and without us... thankfully she will go with her cousin that is the same age and they will be bunk mates. I am not even sure how this is gonna fly with me. 6 days away. I doubt I will sleep much since I have been told... no telephones......... at all. It is her "test" camp experience to see if she will want to do a three week camp next summer. I just hope she has an amazing time and meets some wonderful friends while she is away. She needs this. I want her to grow and see more and become more outgoing... if that is humanly possible for this girly girl! She is by far my most outgoing child.. well except for the flirt that is Pudgie... but that is so different.

On another note... I went kindergarten uniform shopping for the littlest school boy yesterday. I thought I would have a melt down or feel ill or cry or something. Instead....nothing. I think that I am just beyond the overload anymore that I just feel nothing. That kind of scares me. Anymore... we are just going through a lot of motions around here. Hopefully all of them going to school will change that.... otherwise I may have to run away and make Daddy take a vacation to care for these crumbsnatchers while I get the heck outta dodge.

I hope this next week gets better. It is my birthday. My first birthday without my little girl with me at the waterpark. My last birthday in my 30's and just another day in the books I guess. Hopefully it will be a great week for everyone... because school starts after that... but Brinkley and I have a hot date on Sunday the 25th... with a 'lil boy named Justin....................

One done..

I finally got around to finishing one of the things on my "list!!!" At least we can now walk in here and I can feel like I have not been the laziest Mom all summer!!!!!

Sleepy Friends~

Long days and late nights are finally catching up to these babies of mine!!!! Good thing Daddy was at work because Dozer would have been up a creek for sleeping on the couch with Pudgie!!!

Blurs

Most of the days are blurs anymore.
Blurs with the intentionally made dinners for him to eat on his way to work. That is the only constant. Same time, same place, same everything... for a fraction of a second.

Then it goes back to something. What that something is, I am still searching for.

It has been easy so far. They fight until the little one breaks down into tears and it is time for a nap or just bed time. We are lax when Daddy is not around. Some days consist of nothing and other are just simply, over done. Late nights just turn into late mornings and some free seconds for me to sit and do nothing or run around and do everything and become exhausted before the day even begins. The circle of summer, I suppose.

He should have been a tad bit frustrated over the two little peeps that were hogging his pillow.

I would be, but then again, I let them puppy dog eye their way into bed with me to begin with. I am pretty sure I would agree to another dog and a speed boat if they asked for it, at 2 a.m. That is one thing dads don't understand. I love to say I went to bed at 10p.m. but in reality, 10 p.m. is the time I tried to even go upstairs. With my notice given, I must start the dishwasher, because when the kids did the dishes, the four hour delay was just a tad bit too early to schedule. Then there are the extra dishes that are on the table from after dinner festivities. Gotta add those to the mix, while noticing the dogs water bowl needs fresh water. I am going to bed...it is now 10:20 p.m. Good nights all around again and I head upstairs. Ahhh, the pile of dirty clothes that congregate at the bottom of the stairs that one forgot to take up. Ahhh just another trip to the laundry room.....

That is when I discover the load of clothes from this morning... sitting in the washer and needing re~washing. and there are more clothes in the dryer. Rewash, reset, empty... re-do...repeat. They cycle is unending until I hear the dreaded, "Momma, can I ..........?" As is typical at now, 11 p.m. the answer is "yes." "Yes you can build a car, yes you can run the world, yes you can eat candy, yes you can quit school at 9"..... by this time, I don't care anymore. "Yes." comes easy at this time and by midnight I usually don't remember what I have even agreed to. Lights fade at 2:30 a.m. She sleeps on Daddy's pillow
which will end up in an ugly fight if the little one makes the beeline for it mid sleep.

Such is the life. By 5:00 a.m. two little chubbs have inched their way into my bed. One asked and I was just done trying to explain why I need to have 22.8 second without someone next to me. The second meandered in after getting up to go to the bathroom on his own. I can't knock that either. Beats having to wash the sheets. He immediately looks at the little body next to me and squeals that she is in his spot. And that makes it another sleepless night. He is in for the duration and I have officially given into the fact that I no longer belong in bed.

I make mention that I will move them both so that he can sleep. After all, we have caught up the night and talked shop over his breakfast.

He watches them and says it is ok as he shifts into a spot to sleep. Minutes later, they all sleep. It is 9:20 a.m.
Must be nice!

Tired~EY

That is the only way to explain our rambunctious group lately. And by group I mean either all the cousins, one of the cousins, minus one of our kids.. whatever the case... Today we are all tired~ey. Like exhausted kind of tired. Our feet hurt from so much walking, our leg muscles hurt from jumping, our shoulders hurt from holding the littlest one of the group, my core hurts from holding two inner tubes steady so that four little cousins didn't fall off their inner tubes and one small boy didn't freak when he flew off the tubes...slides...coaster....or rubber mats.

Dang, my body is a wreck. Top it off with the love affair with the rower and sit ups and squats I have going on and I could qualify for medicare... oh wait I do.... Not so funny.

I can only hope that these kinds of lazy days are the ones that my kids love. A little bit of cleaning things up and a lot of nothing else so that they can catch up on relaxing is just what they needed. Seeing as that 3 of them slept until almost 11:00 this morning, I doubt I am wrong. Actually I know I am not. I am drained but have a workout scheduled with a new workout partner tonight so I gotta get it into gear!!

In other aspects of our little life as we know it... but do not always love it...
I have seen Tommy once since Sunday. Yes I know... some, very few, but some, people go days without seeing their spouses, but this is not at all normal for us. We have so much going on and the days that we literally pass each in the driveway some nights. And getting a text message at 3:00 in the morning about foot pursuits, taser deployments, suspects with hamburger faces from face planting at a full~speed sprint due to the taser disabling all bodily functions, officer having to go to the E.R. due to the foot pursuit and hurting their knee.... sorta hits home.. and hard, that we are not at all a normal married couple. I don't know what normal is anymore. I actually wonder if I have ever really known "normal" per se...... I do know that normal would never work for us. I might even, no, I would be completely be bored with normal, if I were to compare "us" to the people around us.....

I must be tired to just ramble this way.

I lost my phone that I just had replaced last Friday, at the store today. My head has a million things running through it... my kids are in constant trouble for calling each other names, I am in serious stressed out mode over one of my kids' inability to forgive and forget ... but I have to side with that kid since I feel the same way about the problem that seems to just be ignored on a regular basis.

Needless to say, I am ready to implode or just run far~far away.

Thankfully after 4 hours of backtracking and leaving all my information at the grocery store in case someone turned in my phone.... talking with Verizon to find out they are the only carrier in the nation that does not have GPS locator's capabilities on their phones, debating at length with my insurance carrier about replacing the phone, finally breaking down and suspending the service on the phone... only to have my phone finder call me as I was talking with the insurance company.... Head starts slowly cracking right about this time...... and steam begins seeping out.

All in a summer days day, I guess.

It ended so well I can't even complain anymore. Jax and Brinkley both joined me and my niece Jessie for a workout tonight. All four workouts were different and it was fun. We finished up the workouts and played outside for a bit and it was awesome!!!

Tomorrow... Daddy starts his weekend. We will have some more company for dinner and to watch the big game... which only Jax is really concerned about. And we will make all the munchies go to bed semi-early so that we can rock the water park again........ Cuz that is how we are rollin this summer. The kids are loving going there and I am finally at ease with letting the little one run around with his cousins!!!

One of these days we are going to have to get friends to join us!!!

Just BE.....Cuz!

The midnight swims became an every night ritual for these cousins!!!!These slides became Justice's favorite part of the park this year. Tommy only had to shove him down kicking and screaming one time and he was fine from then on out!!!!!We opted for season passes as our summer vacation for the kids..... which means... a trip up north, once or twice a week to have some serious fun!!!! The best part about that is, we get to bring a friend on certain days for a seriously discounted rate...... The kids are so excited about that!!!!!The girls love riding the Tornado. Justice just hit 44 inches tall so he can't ride the 48" rides just yet.

I love adding to the mix in our house. For me, the more kids, the easier mine are to handle. I try not to get carried away about the crazy messes it brings... after all, next year they will turn 21 or something like that.... and they will be gone. So when mine ask if every child in the neighborhood can come play, inside.. I am game... even when the moms beg the question, "are you sure?" Damn skippy I am. We still have some rules but for the most part, how much trouble can they really get into playing cars, Wii Sports Resort, Littlest Pets Shops and then outside to swim? And really, they all keep each other busy which lets me cook or clean or catch up with email or whatever. Win Win!!!

With the first few days of summer break down, numerous days of playing with the neighbors and my kids ready for some fun, fun, fun, I called on my sis to give up her two girls, for a few days, to my house. Not really a big sacrifice but I never know if the ex-husband is gonna try to start a war with me for keeping them overnight. Funny thing though.... HE NEVER MESSES with me.... AND I REALLY BEG FOR HIM TO TRY TO CALL THE POLICE ON ME...... HUH!

At any rate, out they came. My kids adore having their cousins over. I get kinda lazy about rules and we strive to get the fun-meter to the top when they are all together!!! So far we only have on missing Nintendo DS and a few broken things but we did survive the week together. And I must say..... it was a blast.

Midnight swimming
Mesquite Groves Aquatic Center
Late night runs to the new Taco Bell
Sonic slushies
Sleeping in...late
And to top it all off at the end of the week...
Summer passes to Wet~n~Wild

I am sure we will bring the girls out for one more week before the summer gets away from us. For now, Binky is spending a week with the girls up north and the boys are loving having Mommy and Daddy all to them selves for a bit!!! Win Win again!!!!! I am pretty sure that this summer is going to be the best one ever!!!!

~Luau~

"No I am not crazy."
"I love having my kids celebrate the end of the year."
"Because I think they earned it!"
That is why we love having the year end party!!!!

I can't even count how many times I was told I was nuts, crazy, brave, daring, insane or just plain out of it to invite 35 little children over to swim, jump, eat, scream, laugh, play, dance, and eat even more.

I love the end of the school year. I have learned to embrace it.
The fights that come quicker since the kids are always touching each other, the tears that flow even quicker since they are fighting, the fun that is always present and the ease of lazy summer days, it always ends in good nights and tired children that is so worth it.

Today was the day to celebrate the summer of 2010! (That, and to kiss the school year good~bye!!!!)

So to all our awesome friends that came to play, and swim, and jump, and eat, and dealt with my inability to get it together to get the pinata up for hitting, and laugh and eat some more, and get amped up on sugar and just realx...... Thanks for spending one of your lazy days of summer with us. We had a ton of fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!