Lately..

It seems like the more things change ...... the more they stay the same.

Unfortunately it is not always good and it somehow, isn't so bad. I think that makes it ok.

We are under the gun to get everything ready for school and summers end and camp and life. Lately it seems like everything is a race against life. Or with life... Or something.

Cook better to be healthier to workout harder to look better to feel better ... for life.
Practice patience to be more respectful and kinder to each other ..... for life.
Forgive each other and certain people so that they can learn to let it go .... for life.
Teach them that we are always here for them, even when others are not .... for life.
Leave expectations of family behind in the dreams and make up for them .... for life.

Grouchy...

That would be a great way to define me lately... that is, if I were not so bitchy.

I think that bitchy fits me to a "T" and I deserve to be, rightly so........

This summer has been all about the kids.. as usual. And I mean that in every sense of the verbage.

We have not had any kind of vacation. We do hit the water park at least once a week, for the kids. I told them that we would do season passes since vacay is on hold. Ahhh, vacay hold, that is our new lingo in our house. Thankfully that has not really put a damper on anyone, except maybe, me.

You see, we actually are feeling this sacrifice. Brinkley got her braces and we gave up on going anywhere cool, as in temperature change, or "cool," as in grande ship awesome. Strangely though, we do not normally go on a summer vacation so I am not sure why I am grumpy....er I mean bitchy about it. (I am thinking that it really has nothing at all to do with the vacation stuff) This summer has been filled with work necessities and the possibility of a new promotion/job change.. CAUSING SOME.... MORE THAN SERIOUS... TENSION AROUND HERE and then there is the whole school thing for him as well. While it seems that we have done absolutely nothing, we have all been going none stop, technically.

I think that it is me that is antsy. My workouts have fallen way far out of my grasp most days, then I start to get back to the swing of things and have them fall away again. School will help with the schedule and regimen and planning. I think I may have to join a gym again just to get outta the box that is this house. I am really starting to hate this house. Maybe because I never leave it... and when I do I still have someone attached to me. Maybe that is why I dread certain parts of summer. I work very hard not to, "overly plan," things, just because I want the little critters in this family to relax and enjoy summer and love being together... while I kinda bounce off the walls not really knowing how to relax anymore.

The boys have grown extremely close to one another. I anticipate this to be even more so next week when the sister is gone away camping. Jax is getting so excited to have Justice at school with him. I can't even write how much they adore each other. There are no words anymore. I have even gone as far as to allow Jax to babysit Justice so I can run errands. Things are definitely changing in this house. Even more so, in the next few days.

Miss Binky is preparing for her first trip to camp. Out of town and without us... thankfully she will go with her cousin that is the same age and they will be bunk mates. I am not even sure how this is gonna fly with me. 6 days away. I doubt I will sleep much since I have been told... no telephones......... at all. It is her "test" camp experience to see if she will want to do a three week camp next summer. I just hope she has an amazing time and meets some wonderful friends while she is away. She needs this. I want her to grow and see more and become more outgoing... if that is humanly possible for this girly girl! She is by far my most outgoing child.. well except for the flirt that is Pudgie... but that is so different.

On another note... I went kindergarten uniform shopping for the littlest school boy yesterday. I thought I would have a melt down or feel ill or cry or something. Instead....nothing. I think that I am just beyond the overload anymore that I just feel nothing. That kind of scares me. Anymore... we are just going through a lot of motions around here. Hopefully all of them going to school will change that.... otherwise I may have to run away and make Daddy take a vacation to care for these crumbsnatchers while I get the heck outta dodge.

I hope this next week gets better. It is my birthday. My first birthday without my little girl with me at the waterpark. My last birthday in my 30's and just another day in the books I guess. Hopefully it will be a great week for everyone... because school starts after that... but Brinkley and I have a hot date on Sunday the 25th... with a 'lil boy named Justin....................