Just For Today~

I have so many posts that I need to finish up from the last two weeks. They are slowly coming together...

But just for today... they can wait.

Last night I was watching some very sad television shows. It was the first night in a few weeks that the kiddos were sound asleep, Tommy was working and I was alone with me, myself and I.... and tons of laundry to do.

I was beat.
Exhausted.

We have all been running on empty but loving every second of it the past week and a half. My kids were so tired they actually put themselves to bed ten minutes after they had gone upstairs to play for the 25 minutes I had given them until bed time. Tommy had already gone to work so I figured they would wind down and come tell me they needed, "just 10 more minutes," like they usually do. I came to check on them at 7:45 and found each of them snuggled under their gigantic blankets, each in their own little spot, on Jaxi's bed, sound asleep. Brinkley had a smile on her face, Pudgie was flat on his back, arms stretched wide apart like he was ready for a hug, with his head under the pillow and Jax was stretched out long, looking like a young man instead of a 10 year old boy. After getting everyone tucked and snuggled and into jammies I got to stop and wonder where did my babies go? Then I remembered how our conversations somehow got on the subject of planning babies, early this morning.

We joked how only one of our kids was really planned. Jax chimed in, "so you planned to have your first baby and the rest of us were accidents?" I laughed and said, "No Jax, you were the planned baby. We planned and planned and planned you and then Brinkley was a gift when I was in motor school... and Pudgie was a miracle!" Funny how kids see things so differently. Brinkley is begging me for another sister. She sees all these families having 5, 6, 8 and 10 babies around us and does not see how lucky she is to be the sole little angel in our house. What she does not know is that, I too, wish for one more.

I don't stop to remember what my body went through when I was pregnant with Pudgie man. I remember the doctor basically asking me to end the pregnancy. I remember everyone holding their breaths. I remember one person saying, "Don't you have enough to handle with these two? Why would you want more?" And they were family....

I would love another baby in this house. I would love to watch Pudgie become the big brother and see how responsible Jax and Brinkley are at this age. The smell of that newborn and the newness of everything again. I would love to watch in awe as my kids teach a new little one everything they know. And who knows... stranger things have happened right? Even though I am done with babies..... I have heard people say that before.

For today, I am working towards making my family realize:
*what a great life we have
*how lucky we are to live in the house we do
*to have food on the table
*clothes on our backs, when we decide to actually put them on
*we have cars to get us where we need to go
*and we are lucky that they are really nice
*we are not wealthy but we are dang rich
*Tommy loves the job he does
*how lucky we are Tommy has that job
*that working together as a family makes play time that much greater

I watched these shows last night with families that are in serious crisis. I am not talking about people that are simply not able to make mortgage payments and are losing their houses. I am talking about families that are living in filth and have no food let alone cars or insurance or clean water for showers. I am talking about people that move every night and hope that they are still alive. The kids only wish they could go to school. They wonder where exactly their next meal or any food at all, will come from. It isn't always about drugs or alcohol. Some of these people have been dealt really bad hands in life and some of these people are where they are out of sheer laziness and do actually deserve where they are. Some of these people were born into this way of life and don't know any better and some just don't care anymore.

It was really sad.
It was really eye opening.
It was a good way to clear my head.
It was a good night for me to thank God for all that is, was, will be, and has been done.... with my family.

It is nights like last night that I need.....
It is the slap across the face that wakes me up to the piddly things.....
It is the wake up call about priorities.....
It is what it is....

Reality.

The reality that:
*Life is hard.
*It takes work to be successful.
*It sucks to do housework instead of go outside and play all the time.
*It is boring folding laundry until the fabric softener smell is all over your hands.
*It is gross washing bathroom floors where your boys have accidents.
*Hard work doesn't seem like work when you are doing it for the ones you love.
*Some things suck less when someone tells you they appreciate your work.
*Boring is a state of mind. When your 4 year old asks if Optimus Prime can fold clothes too, it starts getting funny... and nothing gets done except lots of hugs and kisses and that is a lot of accomplishing something.
*Some people are out for everything for themselves.
*Those same people will use you for what they can get and then walk out of your life, and
*You will be a better person for letting them walk, rather than throwing something at their heads.......

So for today, and hopefully here on out.... letting the little things go a little bit quicker, loving a lot more, helping more and giving more and realizing that it is not about the things we have, but the people that we have!

Happy Monday little family. We have the choice to make it a great one or a beyond GREAT one!

I made my decision early on this morning!!!!

Now, on to laundry and finishing up those other posts Daddy has been waiting so patiently on!!!