Thank you Grampie!!

Thank you for coming all the way out for my ear infection Daddy!! And for spending all that extra awesome Wii time with us! Hmmm still no PRO ball for you Grampie. We will have to work on that one!!

BROKEN...

A heart?
A spirit?

Maybe.. I really think so.

My oldest friend that I have known my entire life is at an impass in life. One that is just too difficult to acknowledge or admit is there. I wish I could fix it. Take away the sinking feeling you've got in the bottom of your stomach today. I wish I could help with the breathlessness. The constant heartache. The what if's you are struggling with. That one defining moment so many years ago...that could have changed your path in life..the one you will never forget.

What do you do when you have known, known forever, your heart belongs to someone else?

Your soulmate...Your twin star.

Your one love.

There really are no answers my friend.

Time will pass.

As I have told you before; kids, jobs, small houses, big houses, travels, business ventures, marriage, divorce, losses and gains......LIFE....doesn't matter...it all happens.

And one day...

Answers will come.
Hearts will never forget.
How can they?
They really are just one...
And you can't fight fate.

Punishment....

I am the bad mom in the neighborhood. I seriously have a hard time sticking to my threats of punishment when it comes to Jax and Binky.

Not today.

Last night was such a good night for us....we took pictures on the wall and then got into a heated bowling game on the Wii. Brinkley even got her pro ball. It was great... until the phone rang. I am not sure what happened to the kids that were in my family room smiling and laughing... but all of the sudden, I had 3 demons screaming at me, kicking and hitting one another and crying... all at the same time. Alas, my conversation with Sgt. Coffee was cut short and I was mad!

The game was abruptly ended and I sent all 3 kids to bed. Once everyone was either settled or sleeping in Pudgie's case I headed down the stairs...only to get to the landing and hear this hideous wailing coming out of Brinkley and then Jax, trying to calm her down. I think I literally flew up the stairs to find out that my 89 pound son had jumped directly onto his 43 pound sisters inner thigh becuase she threw batman at his face.

I WAS FURIOUS.

EASTER WAS CANCELLED AND ALL HELL WAS GONNA BREAK LOOSE WHEN DADDY GOT HOME! (HE JUST DID NOT KNOW IT YET!)

They both cried themselves to sleep.

This morning I was sure I would have two remorseful children who would want to be good, listen, and do all the chores that were set out for them... all the while....getting along.

HOW STUPID OF A MOM AM I?

After threatening, taking away all video game controllers, throwing away an entire recycle bin full of toys (yes, the giant blue one), literally dragging a screaming and crying Brinkley back into the house by her ponytail because she thought she should be able to play rather than listen..... I figured that hitting these two kids anymore, was not the answer.

LIGHTBULB!

I remembered that years and years ago my mom had gotten sick of spanking me... her demon child. Her punishments had to become more creative.... and they did.

I handed Jax and Brinkley 10 college ruled pieces of paper and wrote out instructions for their papers they were going to write for the rest of the day or however long it took. They did not realize how much writing they were going to be doing. They pretty much finished up 2 hours later. I have to remember that they are 6 and 8 years old.

I think I can let them out of the house now, with an understanding that next time, the papers are 20 pages long! After all...keeping them inside with me is really just MY OWN PUNISHMENT!

KIDZ IN THE HOOD!

WE GOT ALL THE KIDS ON THE FENCE TONIGHT! 10 YEARS FROM NOW I CAN JUST IMAGINE WHAT THIS CORNER OF OURS AND THE HOUGH'S BACKYARDS WILL LOOK LIKE! (I JUST WONDER IF THE FENCE WILL HAVE FALLEN)

For years to come..

I always get a kick out of this scene. It plays out at least 5 or 6 times a week when I won't go out front of our house the minute Brinkley wants to go play! I imagine we will see it for a long time to come with these two! I am sure there will be secret whispers of high school gossip and talk of boys and who knows...maybe they will run away to each others' houses by jumping the fence!..... for now they were just plotting to play! Here's to friends!

Spring Brrrrrr.......

Stubborn

Pudgie is just being stubborn. The bad part about it is that it is freaking me out. Or, it was, until tonight. Pudgie does not want to talk. He does talk, just not enough. Seriously, not enough. The grunting and groaning is getting old and the pointing with the screaming at the top of his lungs is killing me.

Then came dinner tonight. I was joking with my friend that Pudgie has been repeating phonograms and reading letters saying the sounds the kids use at school. They have learned the Spalding method to read. I never really thought much about it until tonight when he pointed to Ruth's Baja Fresh cup, then touched the "O" and said, "Ahh, OOOOOOOOOOHHH, EEEEWWWWWW." Seriously! Then he pointed to the "S" on my T-shirt and said, "SSSSSSSSSSSSSS." Something is clicking. Very strangely for a 2 and a half year old, but I will take this kind of clicking. He finally got out some other words tonight... like treats and sleep, which I was not as excited about. I may have to put this little boy through some phonogram exercises over spring break or something! Maybe he would rather read than talk! Could you imagine?
WAY TO GO PUDGIE MAN!

Daddy will be so proud to hear you tomorrow!

HGTV????

HEY VAL...JUST FOR YOU... A SEMI-PANORAMIC VIEW ABOUT THE HOUSE MINUS THE KIDS' ROOMS!

I'VE BECOME....

MY MOTHER. YES, IT IS TRUE..... TODAY, WHILE DOING SOME SPRING (PRE-SQUAD PARTY) CLEANING...BRINKLEY FOUND ONE OF PUDGIES CHRISTMAS PRESENTS THAT I HAD HIDDEN A LITTLE TOO WELL LAST YEAR. GOTTA CHECK BEHIND THE CURTAINS IN OUR BEDROOM MORE OFTEN!

SQUAD "D"

I LOVE PARTIES. IT IS THE BEST EXCUSE TO CLEAN THE HOUSE BUT AN EVEN BETTER ONE... TO MESS IT UP!

TOMMY HAD HIS ENTIRE SQUAD OVER TO THE HOUSE FOR DINNER AND ... AHHHHEEMMM... A LITTLE XBOX 360 AND Wii PLAY TIME. NOW, FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS ALL THAT JAX HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT IS HIS RATHER GOOD SHOOTING ABILITIES, FOR AN 8 YEAR OLD, WHEN PLAYING ANY HALO GAME. A CHALLENGE WAS SET FOR OUR LITTLE MAN BY MR. BOB. YOU SEE... MR. BOB IS AN ONLINE PLAYER ON THE 360. WELL, JAX HAS ABSOLUTELY NO FEAR AT ALL. I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS COMES FROM! (TOMMY, YOU KNOW HE GETS IT FROM ME!)

WELL...SUFFICE TO SAY...MR. BOB WON...OH WAIT...DID I HEAR IT CORRECTLY...MR. BOB SET MY 8 YEAR OLD UP AND WHAT? YOU GOT IT... HE CHEATED.......CHEATED ON AN 8 YEAR OLD. JAX WAS COOL WITH IT. I THINK THE SCORE WAS SOMETHING LIKE 10-6.... PRETTY GOOD FOR JAX I WOULD SAY! ALL IN GOOD FUN!!! YOU KNOW THOUGH... HE IS PRACTICING FOR ROUND TWO!

WHAT A GREAT TIME WE HAD. LOTS OF KIDS AND YELLING AND CHATTING AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHERS FAMILIES! IT WAS A BLAST.

NEXT TIME... POOL PARTY!!! (AHEM, ARIC...WITH CLOTHES ON)

BY THE WAY, THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR ALWAYS WATCHING OUT FOR EACH OTHER.... YOU GUYS AND GALS ARE AN AWESOME SQUAD AND WE LOVED HAVING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU IN OUR HOME!

1, 3, or 5

I have no idea why I started noticing this about me... or when it even happened.. but for some random reason... and I think I will blame HGTV for this, my house is decorated in 1, 3, or 5 groupings. SERIOUSLY. Obviously we have 1 main couch in our family room, but .. I have to have 3 ottomans behind it. 5 would look better but they were sold out at 3. I have vases grouped in 3's in my kitchen, and candles grouped in 5's all over the house. My pears on the table...5, my vases of sticks....3, flowers in vases....5, bamboo on the island...5 in the marbles.... the list seriously goes on and on throughout my entire house........ I am either OCD or a budding decorator.

PERSONALLY...IN MY LITTLE WORLD... I LIKE TO THINK I AM A BUDDING DECORATOR! JUST LET ME BELIEVE!!

CATCH~UP

WE HAVE A FUNNY HOUSE. ROUTINES ARE A MUST BECAUSE OF DADDY. LUCKILY HE WEARS SWAT EARPLUGS TO BED NOW. HE GETS TO SLEEP! WHEN HE DOES WAKE UP TOMMY AND I HAVE A FUNNY ROUTINE........

I ALWAYS, ALWAYS ASK HIM...... HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? WHAT DID YOU DO? ANY HOT CHICKS HIT ON YOU? ANY STABBINGS, SHOOTINGS, FATALS, ANYTHING FUN, FUN, FUN? HUMOR IS WHAT GETS US THROUGH THE DAY AROUND HERE. (AND YES, IF YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I REALLY DO ASK ABOUT THE HOT CHICKS!!!)

TODAY WAS NO DIFFERENT, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HE CAME DOWN THE STAIRS AFTER READING OUR BLOG AND WAS VERY CAREFUL ON WHAT HE SAID TO ME. I WAS FINE.... NO BIGGIE......

AND THEN WE SAT. RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN FLOOR, AGAINST THE CABINETS AND THE ISLAND JUST CATCHING UP ON THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS. THE IRONY WAS THAT I JOKED WITH HIM YESTERDAY BEFORE HE LEFT... "HEY HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE A STABBING....BUT I AM BETTING ON A FATAL" (THEY HAD A STABBING ON FRIDAY MORNING SO THE WHOLE COP~JINX THING COMES INTO PLAY!) THEY HAD ANOTHER STABBING AND WHAT THEY THOUGHT WAS A FATAL OR NEAR ONE... LAST NIGHT. JINX... I AM GOOD!!!!

IT WAS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE TO US, WHAT WENT ON AT WORK. JUST THE FACT THAT HE AND I SIT AND ENJOY A FEW, AND BABY, I AM STRESSING, A VERY FEW, MINUTES TO CATCH UP ON WORK AND THE KIDS AND THE PARK AND THE HOUSE... I THINK I JUST MOSTLY LOOKED AT HIM.. NOT EVEN REALLY LISTENING TO TOO MUCH OF WHAT HE WAS SAYING. I JUST KEPT THINKING. "I SURE LOVE THIS MAN... AND IT SOOOOO DOES NOT HURT THAT YOU ARE THE BEST LOOKING MAN I HAVE EVER MET." AND THEN THE CAT PROCEEDED TO THROW UP EVERYWHERE AS WE WERE TALKING. END OF CONVERSATION AND DAYDREAM TIME!

SUCH IS LIFE! THANKS FOR THE CHAT SWEETS! LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND, SPRING BREAK, HUGS AND KISSES, WALKS TO THE PARK, DINNER OUT, SLEEP, KISSES (DID I ALREADY MENTION THAT) SPRING CLEANING, FAMILY GYM TIME AND OUR PARTY!

I LOVE YOU BUG!

IT JUST REVERTS BACK....

THIS IS NOT MY ASHLEY FURNITURE POST..... THIS ONE HAS BEEN BREWING FOR QUITE A FEW DAYS AND I HAVE TO JUST GET IT OUT BEFORE I TELL SOMEONE WHERE TO GO, HOW TO GET THERE, AND THEN DRAW THEM A MAP.

THIS MOM IS NOT HAPPY! LET'S NOT SUGAR COAT THIS. I AM PISSED!

I OVERHEARD A CONVERSATION LAST WEEK. ONE THAT I KNOW WAS NOT MEANT TO BE HEARD BY ONE OF MY CHILDREN'S MOM. IT WAS SPECIFIC TO MY KIDS AND OUR FAMILY AND THE FACT THAT IT CAME UP JUST PISSES ME OFF.

THE CONVERSATION WAS ABOUT RELIGION.... OR THE JENSEN FAMILIES LACK THERE OF APPARENTLY. THE CONVERSATION BASICALLY PUT DOWN OUR FAMILY AND OUR CHILDREN AND TOMMY'S AND MY ABILITY TO RAISE OUR FAMILY "CORRECTLY."

NEEDLESS TO SAY, MY POOR CHILD QUESTIONED ME ABOUT THIS REPEATEDLY... FOR DAYS. TODAY WAS THE FINAL STRAW. WHEN IT ONCE AGAIN CAME UP, I FINALLY EXPLAINED WHY WE ARE THE WAY WE ARE... IT SEEMS THAT IT MAY BE A LITTLE CLEARER TO MY KIDS NOW.

I AM VERY CAREFUL ABOUT RELIGION, POLITICS, AND PARENTING PUT-DOWNS IN MY LIFE. THINGS I MAY NOT AGREE WITH OR THINK ARE JUST DOWN RIGHT FREAKISH.... I KEEP TO MYSELF OR ONLY DISCUSS OPENLY WITH TOMMY.

I JUST FIND IT SAD THAT OUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS (OR WHAT SOME MAY CONSIDER BAD BELIEFS) ARE OPENLY DISCUSSED WITH CHILDREN..... CHILDREN WHO TALK!

AND ONCE AGAIN.... I GO BACK TO THE OLD AFRICAN PROVERB... IF TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD......... WHAT IF THE VILLAGE REALLY IS FULL OF IDIOTS?

*JUST A QUICK SIDE-NOTE- THIS POST HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ON MY STREET WHERE I LIVE NOR DOES IT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE I KNOW WHO READS OUR BLOG!!!*

IF IT TAKES A VILLAGE...

WHAT IF IT'S FULL OF IDIOTS?

WHEN I TELL THE STORY OF MY ASHLEY FURNITURE EXPERIENCE IN THE NEXT POST... YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY I AM PONDERING THIS AFRICAN PROVERB!!

Mack Momma's

RUTH, DE ANNA, TRISH, SHANEN, KELLY & BABY JULIANA

I Love to watch people. Bad Habit from being a cop I guess. I watch my neighbors all the time, the mom's mostly.............Especially the ones I hang out with.

We are a quirky little group. We are all completely different. I love my neighbors. Almost everyday we sit outside, in our lawn chairs gabbing about, well... just about anything and everything that comes to mind. Sometimes it is just about our kids, jobs, cooking (ok, I might not have too much to contribute to that part of the conversation), life, love how we grew up... just pretty much whatever. Sometimes we don't talk about anything. It is actually pretty cool. We are from all walks of life with super different lifestyles and beliefs but we all seem to bring some really neat traits to our "proverbial table" in the afternoon. There are 13 children between the 5 of us and they all play so well together. (ok maybe not Juliana yet... she's only a week old so we are giving her a break!!!) Our kids are 10, 8, 7, 7, 6, 5, 4, 4, 3, 3, 2, almost 2, and newborn. CAN'T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THAT! Awesome playdates I tell ya!

I love watching them. I know.. I am strange...

You see, one of my neighbors is beyond sweet. I am not kidding. TRISH is the epitome of Betty Crocker. She almost always has on an apron (Jaxi always asks why I don't wear one of those "cover your shirt thingy'z"), she grows her own food...including banana's, watches a ton of other peoples kids after school and gives and gives and gives. Jax takes notice of her a lot. Every time she puts on lipstick to leave somewhere important and has dress clothes on, he never misses a chance to say how pretty she is. (I think this is great for an 8 year old to notice this) She never gets mad when Tigger jumps on her and she always, and I seriously mean always has a smile on her face. I love when she smiles. She has beautiful teeth.

Another one of my neighbors closes her eyes when she talks for long periods of time. I am not sure why this happens but it does. It is mesmerizing for me to watch her. I don't know if anyone else has ever noticed it. KELLY makes me laugh with some of the stories she tells me. She was pregnant when I first wrote this post.... and has since had her beautiful daughter. When she was pregnant she was one of those women that was a "stunningly BEAUTIFUL pregnant woman!" My favorite thing about her is the way she talks to her little boys. They are at a stage where sometimes only Mom knows exactly what they are saying and sometimes others may not. Watching her converse with them is cool. There is something so peaceful about her voice when she is loving on them or scolding them. Rarely does her tone change and she just is a great mom and fun woman to hang with.

Another neighbor is the single mom on the street. RUTH is busy. I used to think I was busy. I HAVE DECIDED I AM NOT. She has a lot on her plate. I love listenening to her talk about work and life and rasing her little boy. She is smart. I mean really smart. The kind of, "wow she is so intelligent," that I have had conversations about it over dinner with Tommy, kind of smart. I have learned a lot about life sitting and listening to her. It is a rare occasion that she gets to join our little group for some gab time but I always appreciate the times she does come talk! Last weekend we hung out on Sunday morning together and talked over coffee while all our kids ran around like crazy munchkins... having a blast. It was awesome! I am learning all I can from her when it comes to cooking with Mexican flair... because she can immitate Chipotle's hot sauce perfectly!!! I adore her and all the spicy food she makes for me.. (and no I don't share it!) ~ Don't be in such a rush to get back to work...... I love having you out with us in the afternoons!!!

The last Mack momma in our group is the one that I am probably closest to because of our daughters. We have a lot of the same background as far as competitive sports goes. It is really funny because neither of us needs to talk about our old softball days or anything. We can just hang out watching the cars race up and down the street. We get tired of hearing our girls fight like they are sisters and we readily ignore them... together. We can just sit and do nothing or get each others opinions on decorating or just vent about our middle children. We often joke that Jax and Kylee are becoming "closer friends" as they get older (hmmmmm.) We don't have to do anything and that is what is really cool. It is a common thing for her and I to text each other about a great deal at Wal-Mart or Fry's or when we are needing help with getting the kids to or from school! SHANEN is our part time P.E. teacher on the block and next year she gets to be a stay at home mommy with all the rest of us. YEAH!

I love our little circle of friends that we have grown into. We really watch out for each others' kids and families! We live on a wonderful street filled with wonderful people and I am so thankful for Tommy coming home one day...oooohhh so long ago in 2005... and telling me we were moving!!!

I LOVE BARGAINS!

I ALMOST DROPPED A HUGE AMOUNT OF PENNIES ON THIS COMFORTER SET ON OVERSTOCK.COM. LAST OCTOBER. SERIOUSLY...... I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND SINCE IT IS ALL OF THE COLORS IN MY MASTER BEDROOM.... I HAD MYSELF TALKED INTO THE $249.99 THAT IT WAS LISTED AT. IT WAS $399.99 ON BEDDING.COM SO I FIGURED THAT IT WAS STILL A DEAL...BUT I JUST DID NOT DO IT.... UNTIL LAST WEEK. I GOT A KING SIZE COMFORTER, 4 PILLOW CASES, 2 PILLOW SHAMS, A FLAT SHEET, A FITTED SHEET AND A BED SKIRT IN TOTAL! TAKE A GUESS WHAT I PAID FOR IT???????

$10.70

$10.76

AFTER A HORRIBLE THREE DAYS IN OUR HOUSE....AND NO, IT HAD NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH MY KIDS..... I WAS SO HAPPY TO STOP AT FRY'S TODAY AND PAY $10.76 FOR~

8 BOXES OF HONEY NUT CHEERIOS
10 FIBER ONE BARS
30 CURVE STRAWBERRY BARS
6 BOXES OF CURVES CEREAL
78 NATURE VALLEY GRANOLA BARS
106 FRUIT ROLL UPS!

GOTTA LOVE IT!

NOT THIS MACK MOMMA~

WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL NEW BABY ON OUR STREET THAT BRINKLEY WAS JUST BEGGING TO HOLD. HOPEFULLY SHE WILL GET HER FILL OF THIS BECAUSE THIS MOMMA IS DONE WITH BABIES!!!! I JUST COULD NOT RESIST POSTING HER ADOREABLE PICTURES!!

WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD JULIANA!

UPDATING OUR LOFT!

SO I AM LAYING IN BED AT, OHHH SAY 2:30 IN THE MORNING SATURDAY... WATCHING HGTV, WAITING FOR TOMMY TO COME HOME...WHICH HE DID NOT UNTIL AFTER 6 BUT ANYWAYS...... I SEE EXACTLY WHAT I NEED TO DO TO COMPLETE THE LOOK OF OUR LOFT. ORANGE SILK DRAPES AGAINST MY BLUE WALL! I LOVE IT! ONTO THE NEXXXTTT........ THING I NEED TO COMPLETE NOW!

BOYZ.....

HAVE I EVER MENTIONED HOW MUCH JAX LOVES PUDGIE? THEY CHASED EACH OTHER ALL OVER OUR HOUSE TONIGHT...WITH THE NERF GUNS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AS THEY SHOT EACH OTHER! (WELL, PUDGIE ISN'T SUCH A GREAT SHOT WITH THE LITTLE BULLETS BUT HE HAS A PRETTY GOOD AIM WHEN HE THROWS THE GUN AT JAX!)

Fit for our PRINCESS BINKY...

Alas...her cat...SPIKE, the boy, sleeps here. He loves the color pink. He told me so! Brinkley sleeps in Jax's room. Finally all things PINK in Binky's room are done as done can be.. for now!!!! A few things left to do... but they can wait! After all, her bedroom is really just our guest room!

~T27~

THIS POST IS FOR ME. IT IS GRAPHIC, IT IS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT, SOME REFERENCES MAY OFFEND PEOPLE AND REALLY ... DOES THAT MATTER? THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY MOTORCYCLE WRECK... AND FOR ME... THIS IS THERAPY. IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO READ IT THAT IS OK. THE PICTURES ARE NOT PRETTY. MY WRECK WAS FAR FROM THAT. THE RESULTS EVEN FARTHER. FROM WHERE I WAS 6 YEARS AGO TODAY, TO WHERE I AM NOW... I AM PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF AND OF WHAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY COULD HAVE MADE IT THROUGH THE HELL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND MOST HAVE READILY ADMITTED THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE SURVIVED (TOMMY INCLUDED.) MANY A HUSBANDS WOULD HAVE LEFT THEIR WIVES ... MINE STAYED AND DID THINGS FOR ME THAT I COULD NOT. HE FOUGHT THROUGH TEARS TO HELP ME GET PAST PAIN THAT WOULD CAUSE ME TO BEG JUST TO DIE.. HE PUSHED ME TO LEARN HOW TO GO UP STAIRS SO THAT I COULD GO HOME TO OUR HOUSE AND RECOVER WHERE I WAS IN FAMILIAR TERRITORY AND HE SAT WITH ME WHEN I WOULD BURST INTO TEARS BECAUSE I COULD NOT EVEN PUT MY OWN SOCKS ON. THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR BEING PHYSICALLY STRONG, EMOTIONALLY STRONGER AND DOWN~RIGHT STUBBORN WHEN IT COMES TO SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!

I CAN ONLY SAY THAT HAVING A HUSBAND THAT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME, THE LOVE I HAD FOR JAX AND BRINKLEY AT THE TIME, AND HAVING MY ENTIRE FAMILY HELP TO SUPPORT ME AND THE BABIES ARE WHAT GOT ME TO WHERE I AM... THAT AND AS I WOULD TELL EVERYONE IN THE HOSPITAL.... "I AM JUST TO MEAN TO DIE!"

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BEFORE... AN AFTER.... AND 31 LONG DAYS IN BETWEEN. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME. SIX YEARS AGO TODAY I DIED.....AND THEN I WAS SAVED BY SOMEONE I CAN ONLY COMPARE TO GOD...... NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES I WAS SAVED. I GUESS SOMEONE HAD BIGGER AND BETTER PLANS FOR ME! IT WAS FATE THAT, INSTEAD OF A MEDIVAC, THEY CHOSE TO SCOOP AND RUN WITH ME TO SCOTTSDALE OSBORN'S TRAUMA CENTER. IT WAS FATE THAT MY DOCTOR JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE ON-CALL TRAUMA SURGEON FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WHEN HE IS IN TOWN. IT WAS FATE THAT HE HAD SEEN MY EXACT INJURIES TWO TIMES BEFORE (I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO SURVIVED THEM.) IT WAS FATE THAT HE HAD USED "OLD SCHOOL" TECHNIQUES RATHER THAN NEW FANGLED TECHNOLOGY TO SAVE ME. IT WAS FATE THAT MY HUSBAND WAS STANDING IN THE TRAUMA ROOM, WATCHING EVERY MOVE THAT WAS BEING MADE TO HELP ME... AND IT WAS SIMPLY DIVINE INTERVENTION THAT I EVEN SURVIVED.

I REMEMBER THE DREAM LIKE SEQUENCE OF IT ALL. MY LAST RADIO TRANSMISSION. "TOM 27, 10-4. 902 THE CHURCH." I RODE FOR AWHILE WITH A FEW OTHER MOTORS. I MADE MY TURN AND THEN IT HAPPENED. THERE WAS NO PANIC. MAYBE A LITTLE WHEN THE BEE FLEW INTO MY GLASSES. I CAN STILL HEAR MY PADS SCRAPING THE METAL AGAINST THE CURB. NOT A BIG DEAL. WE WOULD SCRAPE PADS ALL THE TIME. I CAN FEEL THE WIND BEING KNOCKED OUT OF ME AS I HIT THE BOULDER. I WAS SO VAIN ALL I COULD DO WAS ROLL OVER TO CHECK TO MAKE SURE MY TEETH WERE STILL INTACT. I HEARD CHRIS TELL ME TO LAY STILL AND THEN I FELT HIM LAY DOWN IN THE ROAD AGAINST ME TO MAKE SURE I WOULDN'T MOVE. I WAS TOLD I STARTED TURNING A HIDEOUS COLOR OF BLUEISH PURPLE AT THIS POINT. TOMMY STOOD AND WATCHED. I WAS DYING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

I HEARD HIM AS THE PARAMEDIC WAS TRYING TO START A LINE IN MY ARM. "OUR BABIES NEED YOU DEANNA!" "YOU HAVE TO BE OK." I WAS PISSED. I FOUGHT IN THE AMBULANCE SO I WOULD NOT GET THAT NEEDLE STUCK IN MY ARM. THIS WAS THE LEAST OF ANYONE'S WORRIES. I HAD JUST GONE DOWN ON MY MOTOR AND I WAS DYING AND THERE WAS NOTHING ANYONE COULD DO ABOUT IT.

I REMEMBER HEARING THE NURSE SAY, "SHE IS A MOTORCYCLE COP?" " ARE YOU SURE?" I COULD FEEL THAT I WAS NOT BREATHING ON MY OWN AND THEN I HEARD A SICKENING SOUND. I HEARD A DRILL. THE WHIZZ OF IT FREAKED ME OUT IN ADDITION TO THE FACT THAT I WAS NOT BREATHING ON MY OWN AND I THOUGHT I WAS NOT GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN. THEN I FELT PRESSURE ON MY RIGHT KNEE. NO PAIN.. ONLY PRESSURE. WHAT THE??? THEY ARE DRILLING MY KNEE. I FORCED MYSELF TO MOVE MY FINGERS ON MY RIGHT HAND AND THEN I HEARD THE PANIC IN SOMEONES VOICE... "HER HAND IS MOVING." TOO MUCH HUSTLE AND BUSTLE. I CAN FEEL THE PANIC IN THE ROOM. I OPENED MY EYES. THE LIGHTS WERE PAINFULLY BRIGHT. THEN IT ALL HIT AT ONCE. A NURSE YELLED, "OH MY GOD, SHE IS AWAKE!" "GO GET HIM." HIM??? I WONDERED WHO HE WAS. THEN I HEARD THE CALMEST VOICE EVER. "HI DEANNA" I WAS PISSED. MY HANDS WERE STRAPPED DOWN AND I CAN NOT BREATHE ON MY OWN AND THERE IS TOO MUCH GOING ON. WHO DOES THIS MAN THINK HE IS? THEN, IT BECAME A MADE FOR TELEVISION SHOW........"DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?" "BLINK ONCE FOR YES AND TWICE FOR NO." ONE BLINK. "DEANNA, CAN YOU MOVE YOUR OTHER HAND?" ONE BLINK AS I WIGGLE MY LEFT FINGERS. "CAN YOU FEEL YOUR FEET DEANNA?" LOTS OF BLINKING. I DON'T KNOW. I STRUGGLED.. THEY ARE STRAPPED I THINK. I THINK I WIGGLED MY LEFT TOES. "DEANNA, I AM DR. WACHTEL" AND THE PANIC IS NOW GONE BECAUSE THEY PUT ME BACK UNDER. (I HAD JUST BECOME A STATISTIC. I WOKE UP DURING EMERGENCY SURGERY!)

I HEARD MY DAD AND TOMMY. I CAN FEEL TOMMY'S HAND ON MY RIGHT HAND. CRAP, I AM NOT BREATHING ON MY OWN STILL AND AGAIN, I AM STRAPPED DOWN. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE I OPEN MY EYES AND THERE IS A PRIEST AND MY FATHER ON THE LEFT SIDE OF ME AND TOMMY ON THE RIGHT TELLING THEM I AM NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS. HE WAS RIGHT. I WAS DOWN RIGHT LIVID. I THOUGHT THAT MY DAD WAS GIVING UP ON ME AND LETTING ME DIE. I THOUGHT THEY WERE GIVING ME LAST RITES. I THOUGHT THAT THEY FIGURED I WAS NOT TOUGH. I STARTED PULLING VIOLENTLY AT THE WRIST RESTRAINTS AND SHAKING MY HEAD BACK AND FORTH IN THE "NO" MOTION. (THIS IS NOT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED WHEN YOU ARE INTUBATED) I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO DO THAT. TOMMY KNEW ME BETTER THAN EVER. IN REALITY, THEY WERE PRAYING FOR ME, NOT GIVING UP ON ME. I FELL BACK TO SLEEP.

I HEARD KELLY TALKING TO ME. STILL NOT BREATHING ON MY OWN. STILL RESTRAINED. MAD MAD MAD. I STARTED SHAKING MY HEAD AND FLOPPING MY RIGHT HAND. KELLY GOT WORRIED AND THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG. THE I.C.U. NURSE HAD SEEN IT BEFORE. SHE KNEW. I WANTED TO WRITE. I WROTE QUICKLY BECAUSE I DID NOT KNOW IF I COULD STAY AWAKE. I TOLD HER OF THE BEE IN MY HELMET, I KEPT SAYING I WAS SORRY AND THAT THERE WOULD BE NO MORE MOTORCYCLES AND I FINALLY ASKED HER, "AM I GOING TO DIE?" I HAD NO IDEA WHAT EXACTLY WAS WRONG WITH ME. SHE CRIED AND CRIED.

THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS WERE SEMI-CONSCIOUS DAYS. PEOPLE CAME AND WENT AND I DON'T THINK THE REALITY OF MY INJURIES HIT UNTIL THE DOCTORS STARTED EXPLAING THAT I MIGHT NEVER WALK AGAIN. FOR ME, IT WAS NOT AN OPTION. I COULD FEEL THE PAIN, THEREFORE, IN MY OWN MIND, I WOULD WALK. IT WAS A GOOD SIGN THAT I WOULD PASS OUT FROM THE EXCRUCIATING PAIN. (SICK WAY OF DEALING WITH IT, BUT IT WORKED FOR ME AND THE LOGIC WAS GOOD IN MY MIND.) REALITY SET IN THE DAY THAT THEY RUSHED ME INTO SURGERY TO REPAIR A TEAR IN MY INTESTINES. THE PAIN WAS BEYOND INTENSE. I THOUGHT I MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE.

THINGS PROGRESSIVELY GOT WORSE FOR ME. MY PELVIC REPAIR SURGERY WAS NOT FOR A FEW MORE NIGHTS AND THE PAIN OF HAVING YOUR SPINE AND PELVIS LITERALLY RIPPED APART IS A BIT PAINFUL... TO UNDERSTATE THE OBVIOUS. TWO NIGHTS BEFORE SURGERY I WAS HAVING A ROUGH NIGHT. THIS WAS THE NIGHT THAT I STARTED HALUCINATING THAT I WAS ON A RIDE WITH WILLY WONKA, I COULD LICK THE WALLPAPER AND TOMMY WAS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME IN A BOAT SURROUNDED BY WATER. THE REALITY OF THAT DREAM WAS.. THEY HAD TO PACK MY BODY IN ICE BECAUSE I WAS SCREAMING FROM PAIN, I HAD A 103 DEGREE FEVER FROM AN EAR INFECTION, THEY GAVE ME DRUGS TO CALM ME WHICH CAUSED THE IMAGINATION TO VIVIDLY TAKE ME ON MY TRIPS, THE PLASTIC BAGS THAT THE ICE HAD BEEN PLACED IN HAD STARTED LEAKING CAUSING WATER TO POOL AROUND THE CHAIR TOMMY WAS SLEEPING IN AND I PULLED OUT MY NG TUBE THAT WAS DOWN MY NOSE AND INTO MY STOMACH FROM MY FIRST EMERGENCY SURGERY TO REPAIR A TEAR IN MY INTESTINES. SUCH FUN WE ARE NOW HAVING.

I CAN STILL SEE THE LIGHTS OF THE CORRIDORS FLIP FLIP FLIPPING PAST AS I AM BEING WHEELED TO THE SURGERY WAITING AREA. THERE ARE COPS ALONG THE WAY. THE DOCTOR IS TALKING TO TOMMY MOSTLY. I AM JUST THERE FOR THE RIDE. EVERYTHING IS EXPLAINED AND I AM GETTING READY TO GO BACK INTO THE STERILE ROOM. TOMMY KISSED ME AND MY MOM HUGGED ME AND I CRIED. I TOLD THEM HOW SORRY I WAS AND THAT I CAN'T LET OUR BABIES BE HOMELESS. WHO THINKS LIKE THIS? MY MIND WAS EVERYWHERE. MY BABIES WERE A LITTLE OVER TWO YEARS AND ONLY 6 MONTHS AND I WAS DEATHLY AFRAID I WOULD DIE AND THEY WOULD LIVE IN A BOX ON THE STREET. I SEROUSLY TOLD MY MOM THAT. SHE REASSURED ME THAT I WOULD BE FINE AND JAX AND BRINKLEY WOULD NEVER LIVE IN A BOX. OK.....I GUESS SHE WAS RIGHT.

WHEN I WOKE UP, REALLY WOKE UP, THE DOCTOR EXPLAINED THE ENTIRE SURGERY TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT HE WAS VERY GLAD THAT WE HAD ALREADY HAD OUR BABIES. "UMMM OKAY, SO I NOW HAVE PLATES AND SCREWS HOLDING MY BODY TOGETHER, LITERALLY, SO THAT I CAN, ONE DAY BE UPRIGHT, AND WHAT???? WHAT ELSE DID YOU TAKE OUT WHILE YOU WERE PUTTING ME BACK TOGETHER? MY ORTHO SURGEON EXPLAINED THAT ALL MY PARTS WERE STILL INTACT BUT BECAUSE I HAD TORN MY SI JOINT, AKA: "THE MOMMY JOINT" I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO CARRY ANOTHER BABY, I WOULD MOST LIKELY NEVER GET PREGNANT AGAIN ANYWAYS, BUT IN THE EVENT THAT I DID, I WOULD NEVER TAKE THE BABY TO TERM BECAUSE MY BODY COULD NOT HANDLE A PREGNANCY. WHAT??? THE SI JOINT IS THE PART OF A WOMAN'S PELVIS THAT OPENS UP TO DELIVER A BABY AND THAT EXPANDS TO CARRY A BABY. GREAT... MINE DOES NOT MOVE ANYMORE. OK. I CAN DEAL WITH THIS. WE ARE GOOD. I THINK. THEY ARE STILL NOT SURE IF I WILL WALK AGAIN... YEAH RIGHT. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE DEALING WITH.

THE DAYS SLOWLY PASSED. I TRIED TO DIE AGAIN. TOMMY WATCHED IT ALL HAPPEN AGAIN. I PASSED A BLOOD CLOT THROUGH MY LUNGS. NOT THE MOST COMFORTABLE FEELING IN THE WORLD. RATHER SICKENING WHEN YOU HEAR A CODE BLUE GO OUT OVER THE HOSPITAL INTERCOM AND KNOW IT IS FOR YOU.

I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE HOSPITAL AT LEAST 4 TO 6 MONTHS TO LEARN TO WALK AGAIN. THAT WAS NOT HAPPENING.

AFTER 3 LIFE SAVING SURGERIES, 16 PINTS OF BLOOD, STAPLES, STITCHES, A DIET THAT CONSISTED OF LIPIDS (THINK A GREY LIQUID OF GOUP THROUGH AN I.V) ANYTHING THAT I COULD HAVE A PERSONAL CHEF MAKE AND THEN KEEP DOWN, THERAPY THAT WAS BEYOND ANYTHING WE HAVE EVER SEEN (THINK HANNIBAL LECTOR IN HIS LITTLE CHAIR BEING STRAPPED IN WHEN HE STANDS UP)... YOU NAME IT AND I DID IT AND I CAME HOME. THERE IS A LOT TO BE SAID FOR BEING A STRONG WOMAN IN A MAN'S WORLD. I CAME HOME TO A HOUSE FILLED WITH HOPE AND A FAMILY READY TO DO WHATEVER IT TOOK TO KEEP MOMMY AROUND.

LIFE CHANGED DRASTICALLY FOR OUR WHOLE FAMILY. I HAD TO GIVE UP ONE OF THE GREATEST LOVES IN MY LIFE WHEN I RETIRED FROM THE POLICE DEPARTMENT. IT STILL BREAKS MY HEART EVERY DAY TO THINK ABOUT IT. I MISS IT TERRIBLY AND SOME DAYS I JUST WONDER WHAT IF????

THEN, I LOOK AT TODAY. PUDGIE WOULD NOT BE HERE HAD THE WRECK NOT HAPPENED. I WAS FULL FORCE BACK INTO MY CAREER WHEN GOD PUT THE BRAKES ON OUR FAMILY. TOMMY AND I WERE SERIOUSLY LIVING LIFE AT FULL SPEED. AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED... I WAS DONE WITH BABIES... DIDN'T CARE WHAT HE THOUGHT. WE WERE WORKING A LOT... LIKE 70 HOUR WORK WEEKS EACH AND JUST FLYING THROUGH LIFE. IT WAS TIME TO SLOW DOWN. IT WAS NOT THE WAY I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN.....

TOMMY AND I HAVE SURVIVED WELL. I WISH I COULD SAY THAT THERE HAVE BEEN DAYS WITHOUT PAIN. THERE ARE NOT. THERE NEVER WILL BE. I CAN'T SAY THAT THERE AREN'T DAYS THAT I JUST WISH FOR ONE MORE DAY ON THAT MOTOR. ONE MORE DAY AS A COP. ONE MORE DAY TO MAKE THAT TRAFFIC STOP OR TO BE ONE OF THE "GUYS" ON THE ROAD! I DO MISS IT. BUT DANG, MY KIDS ARE LUCKY TO HAVE A MOMMY THAT: WAKES THEM UP EVERYDAY FOR SCHOOL, MAKES THEM BREAKFAST, WALKS THEM TO SCHOOL, PICKS THEM UP FROM SCHOOL AND HAS SNACKS WAITING FOR THEM, SITS DOWN AND HELPS WITH HOMEWORK, SCHOOL PROJECTS, PLAYDATES AND JUST ANYTHING KIDS NEED. THEY WOULD BEG TO DIFFER ON THE PART ABOUT MOMMY BEING AROUND SO MUCH TO SPANK AND YELL TOO... HEY THERE HAS TO BE A LITTLE GIVE AND TAKE RIGHT? IT WOULD NOT BE LIKE THAT IF I WAS STILL ON THE ROAD WITH TOMMY. I KNOW THAT.

I AM LUCKY. I AM ALIVE AND I HAVE A HEALTHY FAMILY. THREE KIDS THAT ARE WONDERFUL, DIFFICULT, BEAUTIFUL, MOUTHY, SILLY, LOVING, GROSS SOMETIMES, GOOFY, CUTE, MEAN, CRAZY ... JUST WONDERFUL KIDS....AND ONE IS A TRUE MIRACLE. I HAVE A HUSBAND THAT IS GREAT. HE DRIVES ME NUTS SOMETIMES, AS ALL HUSBANDS DO. BUT HE IS MINE AND I PLAN ON KEEPING HIM! WHEN I SAY THAT I AM LUCKY.. MOST OF YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW TRUE IT IS. MY LAST RIDE AS TOM 27 WAS TO ESCORT SGT. TOM HONTZ AND HIS FAMILY THROUGH A FUNERAL PROCESSION. TOM WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY SCOTTSDALE POLICE OFFICER TO BE KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY. I CAME HOME 31 DAYS AFTER TOM'S FUNERAL. I CAME HOME WITH BROKEN BONES, BRUISES, SCARS, PINS AND PLATES HOLDING MY BODY TOGETHER, UNABLE TO WALK ON MY OWN IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN, WHICH WILL MOST LIKELY LAST THE REST OF MY LIFE. I CAME HOME TO TWO BABIES THAT COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHY MOMMY WENT TO WORK ONE DAY BUT DIDN'T COME BACK FOR A LONG TIME AND WHEN SHE DID, SHE DIDN'T LAY ON THE FLOOR AND PLAY OR RUN WITH THEM FOR A VERY LONG TIME. FOR ALL THE BAD THAT HAPPENED TO ME 6 YEARS AGO... I CAN SAY I AM LUCKY. I CAME HOME. ONE DID NOT.

NO BABY~THROWING TODAY!

OH, MY POOR POOR PUDGIE. TOMMY AND I ARE NOT TIME OUT PARENTS. WE ABSOLUTELY DO NOT BELIEVE IN THIS. I THINK IT REVERTS BACK TO THE NORTH SCOTTSDALE PATROL DAYS AND THE WONDERFUL TIME OUT BABIES WE ENCOUNTERED DRIVING THEIR $75,000 MERCEDES TO AND FROM HIGH SCHOOL AT MACH 3 SPEEDS. I DON'T KNOW...WHATEVER THE REASON, WE JUST DON'T BELIEVE IN IT......

UNFORTUNATELY, TODAY AT THE GYM, POOR PUDGIE GOT PUT IN TIME OUT. I AM SURE HE WAS TOTALLY CONFUSED AT ALL THE FUSS AND WONDERED WHY ON EARTH HE WAS HAVING TO SIT IN SOMETHING CALLED "TIME OUT."

NEEDLESS TO SAY, PRIOR TO THE ENTIRE EXPLANATION, WHEN LITTLE ASHLEY TOLD ME PUDGIE WAS PUT IN TIME OUT TODAY..... I WAS MORTIFIED. I IMMEDIATELY ASKED HER IF HE HIT SOMEONE, HURT SOMEONE, THREW A TOY AT SOMEONE, PUSHED, PULLED OR WAS JUST DOWN RIGHT MEAN. (WE ARE WORKING ON BEING NICE AND SOFT.) ASHLEY LAUGHED. THEN ASHLEY TOLD ME.....

PUDGIE WOULDN'T STOP SITTING ON THE BABY! WHAT???? HE WAS SITTING ON THE BABY?? GREAT, NOW PUDGIE THINKS HE IS A BABY~SITTER. I THOUGHT SHE WAS KIDDING. THEN IT HIT ME.

PUDGIE LAYS ON THE CAT TO SHOW HIM LOVE,
HE LAYS ON THE DOG TO SHOW HIM LOVE, AND
HE LAYS ON THE KIDS TOO AT HOME...TO SHOW THEM LOVE.

WHEN ASHLEY POINTED OUT WHICH LITTLE GIRL PUDGIE WAS SITTING ON.... I REALIZED...

SHE IS PUDGIES FAVORITE LITTLE GIRL AT THE GYM AND HE WAS TRYING TO LOVE ON HER TOO. NOW I GUESS WE NEED TO WORK ON NOT BABY~SITTING, OR IN PUDGIE'S CASE, NOT BABY~CRUSHING!

PROJECTS,PROJECTS ................EVERYWHERE!

MY POOR HUSBAND. SPRING IS TRYING TO CREEP ITS WAY INTO THE AIR HERE AND HE IS TAKING THE BRUNT OF THE NOISE. WITH HIS WORK SCHEDULE (WHICH SOMETIMES JUST SUCKS) HE SLEEPS THE MORNINGS AND INTO THE EARLY AFTERNOON SOME DAYS. NOT LATELY. WE HAVE HAD OUR SIDEWALK AND PART OF OUR DRIVEWAY JACKHAMMERED OUT, THE GIANT ROCKS THEN WERE HEAVED INTO THE METAL SCOOP ON A BULLDOZER AND YOU CAN'T FORGET THE 30 WORKERS YELLING BACK AND FORTH WATCHING THE ONE GUY DOING ALL THE WORK. I GUESS THAT KIND OF STUFF TAKES AN AWFUL LOT OF SUPERVISION OR SOMETHING. I AM NOT HELPING MUCH THOUGH.

I HAVE A MILLION AND TWO PROJECTS GOING ALL AT ONCE. BETWEEN PUDGIE'S ROOM, PUDGIE'S BATH ROOM, MOVING FURNITURE FROM ONE BEDROOM TO ANOTHER TO ACCOMODATE GROWING CHILDREN, NEW PLANTS TO PLANT, PAINT TO TOUCH UP WALLS, BEADS TO HANG IN BRINKLEY'S ROOM. LAUNDRY, LAUNDRY AND MORE LAUNDRY TO SORT INTO "TOO SMALL FOR ANYONE" PILES, AND RE-ORGANIZING TID BITS AND JUST TAKING CARE OF EVERYDAY THIS AND THATS... WE ARE IN OVERLOAD.

YESTERDAY AFTER SCHOOL IT WAS RAINY. AHHHHH THE RAIN! THEN, MY KIDS WENT OVER TO THEIR FRIENDS HOUSES FOR PLAYDATES. IT WAS JUST PUDGIE AND I AND A DRILL THAT WAS ON A MISSION. FULLY CHARGED AND READY TO PUT HOLES IN WALLS! YEAH BABY! WE GOT SOME SERIOUS WORK DONE LAST NIGHT. I FINALLY LOOKED AT THE CLOCK AT 6:15 AND ALMOST FAINTED. I HAD LEFT MY KIDS AT THE NEIGHBORS FOR ALMOST 3 HOURS FOR JAX AND 2+ FOR BRINKLEY AND IT WAS DINNER TIME FOR EVERYONE! THANKS SO MUCH TO RUTH WHO MADE US HOMEMADE PIZZA FOR DINNER AND FOR GREAT CONVERSATION! I LOVE HAVING AWESOME NEIGHBORS! SOOOOOO...

WITH A LITTLE SLEEP LAST NIGHT, A GREAT MORNING WORKOUT, AND A SUPER QUICK VISIT TO HOME DEPOT.. WE ACCOMPLISHED A TON TODAY! I HAVE SUCH AWESOME HELPERS. IT DOESN'T HURT THAT THEY BOTH HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES I HAVE EVER SEEN!

TOMMY LOVES COSTCO!

SO THE SAGA OF THE CAMERA HAS ENDED! ON WEDNESDAY WE ATTEMPTED TO TAKE BACK MY BROKEN CAMERA TO COSTCO. ALAS, THE COMPUTER SYSTEM WAS DOWN AND THEY COULD NOT ACCESS ANYTHING EARLIER THAN 2006. I HAD FINALLY REALIZED WE BOUGHT THE CAMERA FOR PUDGIE'S BIRTH IN 2005. WOW HOW TIME GOES BY... ANYWAY, AFTER I HAD PICKED UP THE KIDS FROM SCHOOL TOMMY ASKS ME IF I AM GOING TO TAKE THE CAMERA BACK ..... AGAIN....... WHAT?????? NO! I JUST FIGURED WE COULD DO IT TOMORROW.

HE IS HORRIBLE AT RETURNING THINGS AND STARTS TO ALMOST WHIMPER. I TOLD HIM THAT HE NEEDED TO CALL THE DESK AND SEE IF THEY COULD EVEN ACCESS OUR RECORDS AND THEN AND ONLY THEN WOULD I TAKE THE CAMERA BACK AGAIN! OH, AND IF I HAD TO GO BACK TO THE STORE TODAY, I WAS COMING HOME WITH THE TEETER~TOTTER WE HAD SEEN THERE EARLIER IN THE DAY. I WAS SERIOUS. I DID NOT WANT TO GO BACK.... I WAS ON A MISSION NOW. THERE WAS NO WAY HE WOULD AGREE TO THAT! HA!

I LOST. AND THE KIDS WON.... AND TOMMY WON.... WE GOT A NEW TEETER~TOTTER AND A NEW CAMERA... FOR $18.48.

WELL, THEN THERE IS THE WHOLE BOX THING AGAIN. PUDGIE LOVES THE PLANE. ABSOLUTELY LOVES IT..... BUT THE DARN BOX PULLS HIM BACK LIKE A MOTH TO A FLAME. UNTIL BULK TRASH IN ANOTHER WEEK. I WILL LET HIM PLAY... OR UNTIL THEY LEAVE IT IN THE RAIN!

I AM JUST SAD ~ AND THAT IS OK!!

YOU WILL ALL LAUGH.. AND THAT IS OK... I GUESS... BUT TODAY, I AM JUST SAD. SAD LIKE~ MY EYES WERE WELLING UP WITH TEARS AND I COULD FEEL THE BURN IN MY CHEST WHILE MY CHEEKS FLUSHED. A FEW TIMES I JUST HAD TO WALK AWAY. I FELT LIKE I COULD FALL INTO A BIG HEAPING MUSH PUDDLE OF DEANNA AND SOB. LITERALLY SOB! I AM DEVASTATED. I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN DENIAL FOR A FEW WEEKS NOW!! ALAS, MY BABY IS NO LONGER A BABY!

WE BOUGHT PUDGIE A BIG BOY BED TODAY. AN ENTIRE BEDROOM SET, ACTUALLY! THANKFULLY IT WILL NOT BE DELIVERED UNTIL MARCH 4TH. I TRIED TO MAKE IT MARCH 4TH OF 2009. THE SALES LADY DIDN'T THINK I WAS FUNNY. I WAS ACTUALLY HOLDING BACK FROM SPEWING VOMIT. I WAS COMPLETELY SICK TO MY STOMACH AND I WAS RATHER SHOCKED AT THIS REACTION. IT NEVER HAPPENED WITH JAX OR BRINKLEY. WE SIMPLY TRANSITIONED AND IT WAS NEVER A BIG DEAL.

THIS TIME IT IS HUGE FOR SOME REASON. MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE PUDGIE IS MY LAST BABY. THERE ARE NOT MORE, "SURPRISE, WE ARE HAVING A BABY!" SENTENCES THAT WILL HAPPEN IN THIS HOUSE.

TOMMY MUST HAVE KNOWN I WAS FEELING LIKE THIS. HE PICKED OUT PUDGIES MATTRESS AND REALLY MADE THE FINAL DECISION ON THE ENTIRE BEDROOM SET. I WAS CONTENT LOOKING AT THE LINT ON THE FLOOR.... THE COBWEBS ON THE WALL... ANYTHING AT ALL BUT A BIG BOY BED.

FOR NOW THE CRIB WILL DO AND I WILL STILL BREATHE EASIER AS I KEEP HIM LITTLE A FEW WEEKS LONGER.

HAPPY BIG BOY BEDROOM PUDGIE!

STAR STUDENT BINKY!

THIS PAST WEEK WAS BINKY'S TIME TO BE THE STAR STUDENT IN CLASS! ALL WEEK WAS ALL ABOUT BRINKLEY AND ALL THE THINGS SHE LIKES..... I LOVE THAT THE SCHOOL DOES THIS FOR THE KIDS. EACH CHILD GETS THAT TIME TO FEEL EXTRA SPECIAL AT SCHOOL AND TO SHOW OFF THEIR PARENTS TALENTS AT MAKING THEIR STAR STUDENT BOARD... ( I AM KIDDING.... KINDA... I DID MAKE BRINKLEY'S BOARD ... WITH A TAD BIT OF HELP FROM HER ON THE SPARKLE PART!!) BRINKLEY WAITED UNTIL SUNDAY BEFORE HER WEEK TO TELL ME IT WAS DUE ON MONDAY AND NOT FRIDAY, LIKE WHEN SHE WAS IN KINDERGARTEN. FRIDAY WAS THE DAY SHE GOT TO STAND IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND TALK ABOUT HERSELF...NOT SOMETHING SHE HAS A PROBLEM DOING... SHE GOT TO DESCRIBE ALL HER PICTURES AND LIFE AS BINKY! I WAS GLAD THAT WE WERE INVITED TO JOIN IN ON HER PRESENTATION.. EVEN IF HALFWAY THROUGH HER TALKING ABOUT PUDGIE'S PICTURES HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO GET IN ON THE ATTENTION AND STARTED SCREAMING FOR BRINKLEY WHILE TRYING TO CLIMB OUT OF HIS STROLLER!! AT LEAST ALL THE KIDS , PARENTS AND MRS. CHILDRESS GOT A HUGE KICK OUT OF IT!

WAY TO GO BRINKLEY! YOU ARE A VERY CONFIDENT LITTLE SPEAKER IN FRONT OF YOUR CLASS!

ANYONE FOR KRAB?

MR KRABS~

NOT SURE WHY, BUT THE DETAILS ON MR. KRABS HAVE SLOWED ME DOWN A LITTLE. HE WILL BE FINISHED TOMORROW! YEAH... ONLY TWO MORE TO PAINT AND THEN...DUHN DUHN DUUUUUUHN .... A BIG BOY BED... I GUESS IT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER SEEING AS THAT PUDGIE CLIMBS IN AND OUT OF HIS CRIB LIKE IT IS NOTHING NOW!