~H.O.M.E.~

My girlfriend asked if she could come by this morning after she dropped her little guy off at school. It was a strange way that she asked but I welcomed adult female conversation. It has been a while since I have had any, just sitting on my big comfy couch.

During the conversation, she noticed a lot of the changes I have made around our house. It has been a long time since I have had her inside our house. She like all that I had done. New paint, new wall coverings, new pictures, new candles, new lights, more artistic things here and there. Some little, some, not so little. Everything is coming together more and more and our house feels soooo HOMEY and WARM these days. Not that it didn't before, just different. It is more about our family and they way things are between all of us now.

It made me start thinking.....

Today was my downstairs cleaning day. GOOD SCRUBBING DEEP cleaning day. Grout cleaning, nook and cranny dusting, kind of cleaning day. I am still working on my kitchen since I also re-arranged artwork on the walls and had to deal with some things along the way.

Once I was 80% done doing the downstairs cleaning, I took a second to sit down and have a snack. That was when I started wondering what Jax, Binx, and Pudgie would remember about our house growing up. I try very hard to make our house the kid friendly one. None of our rooms are off limits because I have some sacred china or something I can't live without if it gets broken in there. Of course everything has value but the only things with true special meanings are the people that enter through our doors!

We live pretty casually around here. I like it that way. Leather is easy to scrub clean and I happily repaint dirty walls that don't wipe up well.

I wonder if Jax will remember that I put the ottomans in front of the T.V. so that he had a place to put his snacks and drinks when he and Daddy were playing their video games together.

I wonder if he will remember I got him the beanbag because it is more comfortable for them to lay against it as they take out the terrorists and dismember alien life forms.

I wonder if he will ever realize that Daddy picked out the big T.V. just for the purpose of playing cool video games with his kids.

I wonder if Binky will remember that I spent more time on her bedroom, decorating and then redecorating it, than I spent on all 3 of the other bedrooms put together.

I wonder if she will remember that all of my garage is designed around mostly her toys and scooters and jump ropes and walkie talkies and chalk and art supplies. My Escalades spot comes second to keeping her precious roller blades safe.

I wonder if she will remember that I kept our kitchen table because of all the markings she accidentally made from writing her letters and numbers too hard on her papers.

I wonder if Pudgie will remember how hard I worked to draw and paint his entire bedroom, free-hand, Spongebob and Sandy and Squidward and the pineapple.

I wonder if he will remember all his ride on toys that he can park with his eyes closed, perfectly in their assigned parking spots.

I wonder if he will remember our picnics in the grass on lazy sunny afternoons when the other two were at school and we were having special days together.

I wonder if he will remember how I laughed like crazy the first time he decided he wanted to be just like his DOZER puppy and go potty on the grass.....

I want my babies to have memories of this house being awesome. Being a safe zone and one that all their friends were welcome to play at.

I want them to know our house is a HOME that we have fun and laugh and LOVE and play and learn and fight and forgive and bring friends to and have family over, in. I want them to remember that Christmas is our holiday and we always have prime rib with corn and everyone plays the Wii after dinner.

I want them to always remember that our house was loud and fun and filled with joy.

I want everyday to be a day to remember and holidays to be lavish and sacred and times that they tell their own children about one day. I want our house to hold traditions dear to their hearts and that they will want to carry on one day.

I know our house is not the biggest on the block. It may not have the most expensive toys with all the bells and whistles in it, and it surely is not the most organized. The furniture may have spills and the carpet may have spots. The decor may not be for everyone and some may think we are little to forward in our house. Our house does not stay as clean as I would wish for.... and most days, you can find dishes in the sink.

I am good with that.

I am good with that as long as my babies all know that this house is filled with so much love for them everyday it could bring me to tears. It is a safe zone for them to be themselves and let go of all the worries that are still to come, in this crazy life we live.