Paths~

In a perfect world, no one plays favorites with kids, especially their own, and no one is supposed to play favorites at work. I think that is why HR was created. Either that or the people that are spineless wonders can't take jokes in the real world, and need babysitters. Ok, anyway..

A short.... for explanation. I remember one of my favorite Sergeants, whom I never had the pleasure of working for, pulling along side me one night and telling me he would be putting in for the K-9 position that would be opening soon. UMMM WHAT? I was young, naive (yep I did not always know everything people!!) and couldn't fathom why he would be leaving the perfect squad with the perfect hours and weekends off. He soon explained. In police land, you are either liked, well-liked, loved beyond words or are just taking up space with your fat head. This particular supervisor was loved beyond words by everyone....especially staff and he was told, he would be testing for the postion. One of my first, "ah ha," moments as a rookie. In other words, he would be going through the motions of the testing process and undoubtedly get number one, and would make his mark in the special assignment.... and that there, was the beginning of a planned path for him. One that he never thought he would take. If you know nothing about government, know this... It is not what you know... IT IS WHETHER THE PEOPLE THAT COUNT, LIKE YOU. Ok, half joking. (Side Note: He is one of the most loved Commanders now. Paths I tell you... they are laid out for you when you least expect it and most often, rather than not, you should follow it... if only out of morbid curiosity!!! ... Just sayin')

If you didn't think I was serious about being really out of it the past month.... trust in this...... On TJ's work days, I seriously may have said 15 words to him and spent about 5 minutes awake with him. I am not joking. This is not good because we destress together after his shift and he tells me things that he needs to talk about. I return the favor by ranting and raving about how one small child swallowed a magnetic steel ball or how one sassy girl is going to get her mouth duct taped shut if she is not careful. At any rate, somehow, someway, Tommy and I missed one very, very large...... GIGANTIC, conversation with each other this month.

A path had been set for Tommy. At work, that is. I knew that this would happen. Eventually. Unfortunately there were some obstacles that he had to take the lead on and overcome, or the path was going to be blocked. Still, we didn't catch each other to discuss this. Kinda like me forgetting to tell him I am pregnant-kind-big-stuff. *(NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I am not pregnant... just an example...BREATHE TOMMY)

Imagine my surprise when I listen to my answering machine one afternoon to hear some random guy leave, my guy, a message about his start date for school. I thought maybe he had misspoken and meant some kind of specialized training school, at work. I wondered if he was going to be traveling for his training and if I was going to tag along........ Fingers crossed we are hitting VEGAS BABY! (I have my priorities!!)

Yeah, not so much.

When we finally sat down for dinner I asked him about the message. He looked at me sort of puzzled and then said,

"Oh I guess I didn't tell you, or did I? I am going back to school. I am testing for Lieutenant."

Yeah, I think I would have remembered that one. I think I would have remembered that I needed to come up with, oh $16,000.00.... by, like, Tuesday, of last week. Yeah, I think, nope, I know I would have remembered if someone would have mentioned any of this to me, prior to the week before school starting. The kids sat staring with their mouths full-on open, with food inside them.

Jax is really inquisitive about Daddy going back to school. Of course none of it made sense when I joked....
Here is how it works.
Daddy goes to school.
Daddy tests for Lieutenant.
Daddy makes Lieutenant.
Mommy forks out $16 grand for a $12 grand raise.
Jax just stared into space at that point. I told him I was kidding. Kinda.

Daddy gets to start doing homework with the kiddos now, so that is really cool to them. They don't quite understand what his homework will entail. I do know that, technically, Tommy could retire and be a stay at home Dad right along side stay at home Mom. Spending every waking and sleeping and resting and working out and shopping and lunching and playing and teaching the kids about school stuff, and cleaning the house, and ..... oh man that list is getting long.........minute of every day of every week of every month, with me.

Yep, Tommy is going back to school. And come hell or high water, if Tommy retires from the force in 4 years.... this schooling better come in handy for his second career!

Just kidding Hon, I love you and am so proud of your decision to do this! You are going to do amazing!

And I can't wait, to one day, pin your Lieutenant badge on you!

No pressure!

HOT MESS

I am basically going to write February off as 28 days of uselessness for me. I have literally been sick the entire month. Unless you know me, you wouldn't know this. I can fake a lot of things, and really well. Most people would not even know I wouldn't think twice about sticking a sharp object in their eye because, seriously, I can fake nice well, especially with people I can not stand..... any way....I have even been out practicing football with Jax, even though I can't see straight, hear anything at a sound level below high pitched screaming and am undoubtedly thanking God that I have not been pulled over for looking like a drunk driver. My equilibrium is so far gone right now that when I sit down on the couch, if I get up too quickly, I run to get to the kitchen sink, because the bathroom is too far and I really don't want to clean up my own vomit. Yep, 24 days and counting.... Not exactly the month I am putting down in the history books as anything worth being considered awesome...... And really... the worst, for me, is yet to come.

February month end is the hardest time of year for me. I will get an email. (Cathy, I have been so sick I neglected to send you a note on Saturday, but I did shed tears for Tom when I was reading Chief Rodbell's letter) I will not read my emails until Monday. I am doing something that has been literally and physically impossible for me to do, for eight years. And hopefully, I will forget to remember and February will reinvent itself and morph into the best month. That is yet to be seen.

For now, I am still a mess. January 30th I got sick in a matter of 30 minutes. I thought I pulled a muscle in my neck. I thought I could tough it out. I thought hot baths and back rubs were my cure all and I would be fine. Two weeks later Jax and I were in urgent care and two days later, Jax was better. I thought I was but still had some lingering effects of a massive sinus infection and what my doc described as an inflamed eardrum. I guess being me, I assumed that he meant I had an ear infection and he was treating it as that. I also guess I should never assume anything when it comes to UC docs. The meds he gave me are not for ear infections and and the strength of the steroids were basically for a kid.

I am living in a floating wonderland right now. Between the pain and the light headedness, I am a wreck. To top it off, I had to go get Justice's kindergarten enrollment paperwork this morning and that put me on an internal roller coaster I couldn't get off of.

I was watching him in my rear view mirror on the way home from my doctor today. He had fallen asleep in his car seat. I burst into tears. He is so big.. but so darn little and snuggly and squishy that there is just no way he is ready to be big and go to kindergarten, all day, without the option of mommy pulling the plug on the day whenever she feels the need to. I kept crying. Darn it. I have no problem letting him go to pre-school. It is my choice to send him one day or three or five. I don't think twice on his school days. He is actually gone longer than regular school hours and he is doing school work. I have no problem leaving him even later when I have to do something that requires I be gone even after the kids are home from school. Again, my choice. Kindergarten is not my choice. I am a wreck. I take no responsibility for him testing early for kindergarten. Then again, seven days is pretty ridiculous. The cut off should be December 31st. Just a thought. Still, I am not throwing myself into cramming his sponge of a brain with everything kindergarten. After all, I am an emotional wreck about it as it is. I have given the teaching task to Brinkley. She is taking this seriously. The whiteboard comes out everyday....... the cd's are phonograming and the dry erase markers are flowing.... and those two are so very happy doing school together. Justice even does his homework at the kitchen table.

Back to the mess that is me. My doc was really mad at me today. He looked straight at me and said, "and why did it take you three weeks to come and see me?" "Um yeah... I know......." This happened to me in 1995. He was my doctor then, as well. I had a virus settle in my ears. (I worked in county jail at the time so thank God it didn't kill me... blech) The virus caused such a massive infection that my eardrum actually inverted and I was off work for 6 straight weeks. It was so bad that rumors started that I actually ran off and got married....... Today was not too far off from that diagnosis. It may or may not have been a virus, my eardrum is happily swollen twice its side.....and I have blood in my ear, behind my eardrum. Oh yeah, and I feel like my face is in a vice grip. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

I am sure to be sick tonight. I am on a massively large amount of antibiotics. When the pharmacist decided it is in my best interest to give me a consult on my medication, even after I decline it..... I now know 1000 mg is HUGE! Uuughhhh!

I still played football with Jax, I MANAGED dinner (not to say it was something fantastic), I helped do homework, I planned the weekend, I got the kids to bed with no yelling and I actually didn't barf. That ranks right up there with a successful day to me. .....

Except for the magnetic ball thing...... we are still waiting for that to come out.....................and that alone is another long story............................

PUMMELING

After a lot of himming and hawing, dragging my feet, making excuse after excuse, forcing straight A report cards, making him promise outrageous things, making him ask me 25 times at a bare minimum, making him work extra hard at wall ball workouts, making him run and run and run, making him start practicing yoga and then more wall ball workouts... hoping and praying that all this would discourage the boy..........

it has only made him stronger, more resilient and more determined to be the best there ever was........

Jax starts tackle football tomorrow and I think I am already hyperventilating. The thought of what could happen has me in fear mode. I know what could happen. I took some pretty hard hits playing softball (a broken eye socket was probably the worst it ever got and I know that is nothing compared to what could happen) so I am just hoping that Jax is going to listen and practice exactly like his coaches tell him.

Nothing like waiting until the midnight hour..... I signed Jax up on Saturday and practice starts two days later.... NICE. He is amped beyond words. We went and bought his new cleats. He picked out his Under Armour football gloves and is beaming. If I would let him, he would be outside all night practicing. His intention is to be the quarterback. He is the go to kid at school for football plays so I am hoping that, what I think I see as his Mom, is really the RAW talent that many parents keep telling me has. I don't want to be that parent that is blind to their child's inability to play and forces them into it anyway.

Jax has the drive right now. He definitely is large enough to hold his own and since he is going to play by weight... well, the possibility exists that he could be playing with high school boys.

We shall see how this all goes. He starts out with 4-5 practices a week. Bootcamp style. I love this. I will get to get my second workout of the day in during his practice time and Binky and Justice will get to play until they fall over from exhaustion.

Bring on the pummeling!

De Anna

SCHOOL

I am in the middle of stock marketing/investing school right now. I had an extra pass for a guest to attend with me that I couldn't pay someone to use. I am serious. I asked everybody and no one wanted to come. I am going at this new challenge, solo. I am learning about controlling our 401K, covering calls, options and advanced options and strategies for up trends, sideways trends and down trends. That, coupled with the fact that I am bound and determined my kids will be financially independent of the rat race of an unstable corporate world, before they are done with college, has me on an adrenaline rush I can't even explain. Going solo to the class is good for me. There were hundreds of people with me. I found out what a very little world this is when I talked to my partner sitting next to me and he expalined that he is related to one of my police trainees from the P.D., before I became a motor. Small, small world.

At any rate, I sat, picnic style, on our front lawn, after school, telling Tommy everything about my 10 hours of numbers and lines and graphs and definitions and dollar amounts and stock symbols and futures and indexing. It was all so new and exciting. Like a new world had opened up to me and I had a new purpose. I couldn't stop talking and jabbering and rambling. I tend to get that way when I click with something. 200% all in. Head first. Wrapping my head around this class is so exciting.

I am beyond eager to learn and absorb and soak up everything my teachers want to share. I want do everything I can, to be successful with this, so that I can teach Jax. He is just as eager to learn just from hearing me babble like a kindergartner after a Christmas party . I think he felt the excitement in my voice. Maybe he sees deeper in to me than I realize. I think he understands that Mom has come to a point where she needs to reinvent herself and choose her new identity.

I think this is gonna be good.
Being forced to go it alone has really, really, put me in a good place.
Tommy is happy for me.
I am happy for me.

De Anna

Best

Ahhhh........ today started off with pure perfection. It was scheduled last night. Seriously. I always have my days planned. Kinda a freak that way. Unfortunately, my aches and pains don't always like my idea of a schedule. Sunday night was a prime example of the bad things that go on in the middle of the night in this house...... but a post for later, that is.

You see, last night, I made my oh so very organized list of to do things, prepped the house for the new day, worked out with the kids for an hour, figured out my early morning workout, did more and more laundry and got ready for bed. It was only 2049 when I sat down to double check my grocery list. I actually thought that I was going to go to sleep. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA who was I kidding?

Sleep was hard to come by. I think I finally dozed off about 1245. I must have slept well because I was up and ready to Rock the day away at 0430 hrs. I had a workout all planned but by the time I got downstairs, Jax was already working out. I decided on Happy Hundreds. It was the perfect way for the two of us to spend some time together.

The list now had one thing crossed off. Then came the .... errghhh refrigerator. Gross. Just gross. The thought of the kinds of food that were lingering from the Superbowl Game made me gag. I promised Tommy that I was done with the garbage in this house. It is no wonder my workouts suck and my favorite jeans are mocking me.

I threw away anything and everything I could not identify or that I just figured no one needed to ingest. Then I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed some more. We were left with pickles, mustard, some O.J., milk, Olive Garden salad dressing, carrots and apples. Score .... this puppy was ready for the zone again. Pineapple, cheese sticks, turkey slices and monterey jack cheese were going to have a sparkling clean home.

Then I got a most wonderful text from my super Mom buddy. She wanted to know if I wanted a baby fix this morning. Tuesday was just getting better and better by the second. Baby Maryn showed up and my kids changed in an instant. Jax calls her, "baby chubbs." He shocked me when he walked up to me and just took her out of my arms and snuggled her. Brinkley was flaming mad she did not get first dibs at holding her. Pudgie just kept asking, "hey baby, do you want to play swords with me? It was awesome. I agreed that Daddy and Mommy would keep trying for baby number four, just to appease the kiddos. I thought that was the easiest way to drop the subject, until Brinkley proudly announced to her friends at school that, "My Mom and Dad are working on a new baby for us!" YIKES!To me, this was just the perfect way to start a really busy week for Tommy and I.

My refrigerator no longer looks like this.........Somehow, I already feel healthier with it looking like this.................................. What more could a girl want????? I guess the simple things really do make me happy.

I am getting ready to do my second workout of the day. I figure if I really want to get it in gear, two-a-days will force the ultimate diet back onto Tommy and I. We function so much better on the Zone. Let me tell you, Superbowl food leaves a lot to be desired.......Blech.


De Anna

6

One of my goals this year, not having to do with my, "Best I Can Be Challenge, is to let my kids take any friend, or in todays case, three, along with us, when we go somewhere fun. I think it is really important to start letting my kids understand that it is a reward to have friends join us going to all the fun places and doing the fun things that we do together. My parents were awesome about letting us take friends anywhere and everywhere we went, even on vacations. I want that for our kiddos as well. It was not like it was a vacation or anything fantastically outrageous, but we did have some serious fun today.

Jax read the book, "The Lightning Thief," about 3 months ago for his AR goal. He was jumping out of his skin when he found out that there was a movie coming out. We just kept our fingers crossed he would get better for the first day it was showing. NO GO!

Saturday Jax announced we would be heading to see the movie on Monday and we were taking friends. I was all for it. I had no idea how many were going or who it was we were taking, but a day off from school at the theatre was perfect for me. I did stop for about 14 seconds to try to figure out when it was that I allowed Jax to start telling me when we were going to go out and do something and who it was that we were going to take. No worries though, he is such a good kid it makes it really hard for me not to grin and bare it.

This morning one of Brinkley's little friends asked me if her brother was coming too. Mental calculation of car seats and he was all good to go with us as well. With mine in the count, we would be taking 6 to see the movie and I was all excited about it.

Jax, Pudgie, Brinkley, Baylee, Haylee and Caden all loaded up and we set off to see, "Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief." Gena thought I was nuts to attempt it, That, and to actually be looking forward to it.

We hit the theatre at 1250 hrs for the 1315 hrs showing. It was already sold out. BUMMER. What better thing to do then to hit up Johnny Rockets for a delicious lunch together. I wish I had my camera. These kids devoured 8 orders of onion rings, 9 orders of french fries, 4 hot dogs, 6 mini sliders, 2 huge hamburgers, 5 chocolate shakes, one peanut butter chocolate shake, chicken tenders and root beer. It was so much fun watching people stare at me. I wondered if they actually thought they were all mine.

It was actually pretty easy for me. Baylee kept asking me how I was so relaxed with all these kids. I just kept counting to make sure we were all together... and really, I only had to keep Pudgie with me or Jax and we were good to go. I was actually having fun with all 6 of them.

We sat with Justin, Braeden and Hudson and had an absolute blast with all 8 kids. The only complication the entire afternoon was the fact that Jax got suckered into giving up my seat to some girl who gave him puppy dog eyes, while I was out in the lobby getting the popcorn for everyone..... NICE. Gotta teach this kid that girls will try to sucker you with cute little smiles and batting little eye lashes. Needless to say, with a sold out show, Justice and I shared a seat and he happily sat on my lap or between Braeden and I the entire movie. He loves Braeden so he was so proud to share his skittles with him!!!!!!!

This was the perfect day off of school together with all the munchies. Next time Daddy is coming too and maybe we will have to take the Beemer. That way we can bring even more friends with us!!!


De Anna

Lucky Girl......

I am a lucky girl.

I know this. I just tend to forget it some days, err, most days.

I have one thing that many a girls go gaga over. I guess I am so used to it that I don't even pay attention to it, anymore. It needs some serious TLC. It makes it hard to treat it nice when I can't go in there during the day. That, and for the past 4 months it has been the dumping ground for all things Christmas and stuff and more stuff. AGGGGHHHHHH!

You see, there were compromises when we bought our house. Pretty much like any other couple. We opted out of a room that would have gone above Tommy's one car garage. He wanted it badly. It was something like $18,000.00 and we couldn't swing it without giving up a lot that we just were not ready to give up. That left me the delicious 300 or so square feet of closet. Yep, closet, and it is bigger than most peoples' bedrooms. My mom even asked me if she could move into it.

I have started decorating it with my favorite pink paint. Tommy drew the line at pink paint in all of his shoe cubbies. I can understand that. I mean, a girl has gotta give a little. And, after all, I gave him 3 entire shoe cubbies, I think that is fair. Lucky for me, Tommy lets me do whatever I want, most of the time. He is pretty easy and so non-demanding about most things, except where too much pink paint is concerned. I personally think that there is no such thing as too much pink, but I do so love black paint too, so easy compromise!!!

So, my closet, she is a beauty. Until lately, I think I took her for granted. I mean, she really is an extension of our house and since she is so big, I figure I need to give her the TLC she is due! It has tons of nooks and cranny's and it is time for me to re-organize.. I wouldn't want Tommy to think that I don't know what a lucky girl I am!!

Plus, I figure, if I work on my closet, it will keep me from remodeling our kitchen, which is really on my mind, but so does not need to be done. After reading a friends blog about her kitchen redo I joked with Tommy that we could redo all our cabinets (there is a horror story behind this little joke with our first house.....) and it would be really inexpensive. It ain't happening any time soon though. So, on to finishing up the mess that is Jaxi's disaster and then to make my closet worthy of a spread in some fancy schmancy magazine.

I guess I am going to have download the awful before pictures of this ginormica of a mess. EEK! If it were not for the challenge I am doing, I wouldn't dare post my before photos. I am not embarrassed to have a cluttered area, I am sick about it. But, since this is my most major goal for the house, along with redecorating Jaxi's room.... well.... here they are......... in all their messy glory. It is what it is and it is going to get all prettied up!!!


De Anna

~LOVE~N~STUFF~

This will be our 13th Valentine's Day together. It will also be the 12th one that we will not go out and buy each other the overpriced garbage that the media hypes that everyone has to get, to show the one you love how much it is you love to love them...blah blah blah.

Our first Valentine's Day together Tommy bought me presents. It shocked the heck outta him when I finally broke the news to him that I don't believe in Valentine's Day. He really thought I was kidding. I was not. My Dad is the big teacher in this. He and my Mom have never celebrated Valentine's Day. They never will. Not because they don't love one another. They are going on 42 years of marriage. They simply, "LOVE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY AND SHOW IT EVERY CHANCE THEY GET!" That is how I was raised and how I am rasing the crumb-snatchers!!!

I try to live by that rule. I told Tommy that I get a kick outta all the guys that think that it is impressive to spend $100's of dollars on flowers that are going to die, chocolate that makes her fat and then ultimately makes you unhappy, or stuffed animals holding hearts that are going to go to Goodwill, once Brinkley collects enough of them. We used to watch all the motors scramble for the last minute gifts in our office, when we rode together at work. They all hated Tommy on Valentine's Day.

Don't get me wrong.... I love flowers. Well, only Gerberia Daisy's. I like odd colored roses too, but only on days that are special. Like the Tuesday that falls after a Monday that was filled with an amazing workout. Or for no special reason other than the fact that my family appreciates me for the food I don't dare try to cook, the sewing I leave to the professionals and the baking I leave for the daring.

I asked Tommy if he was upset we had to cancel our big night out with friends at Fogo de Chow tonight. We had an amazing dinner planned with 7 other couples. Sick kid trumps romantic dinner every time in my book. He was not the least bit upset. We are renting a movie, disinfecting Jax's bedroom, hanging out together as a family and hoping that all is well by tomorrow. Perfect night in, in my book.

We will get that romantic time tonight. We always do. That is the one thing I can always count on with Tommy. When the kids are tucked in and we turn the lights down in the family room, we always snuggle together and watch something together. We talk and laugh and he always holds my hand. And that is better than any teddy bear or chocolate heart he could ever get me.

Although, the diamond Tiffany heart key is not a bad idea!!!!!!!!!!!!! After all, I think you have a watch or two coming your way!! (I am so kidding Love!!)

I love you Bug. Thanks for deciding to stay home with us an extra day this weekend. We will make the most of it!!!!!

Honestly, I truly LOVE YOU every single second of every single minute of every single day of the month in a year! You own my heart and soul and all that, that entails. Thank you for loving the good, the bad and the ugly in me! From what your squad says, that is a hard thing to do when your wife is a type A personality who does not conform, thinks outside the box, has her own opinion, ideas, ideals, and tells the men where to go...and hands them the map with the directions on how to get there. Not many can handle that. I am glad you love me right back!

....Guilt

I never like feeling sick. Who does, right? I rarely get sick. And by sick, I mean, down and out, puking the guts out, chills, fever, and taking naps. I puke when I am pregnant, I don't take naps and it is rare for me to pull myself outta life's game.

I gave in today. Jax and I are both sick. REALLY sick. Nothing is helping us and I finally had to admit that I was failing at trying to heal us both, while taking care of the Binky and Pudgie and the main squeeze. I even admitted how bad I felt and slept the entire day away last week... yep last week. I am going on 12 not so-deliciously long and sick filled days. Now Jaxi is right there with me. (I gotta admit, we both faked it pretty well for Superbowl Sunday, big mistake though)

I broke down and took us both to urgent care today. I almost had to carry my 120 pound baby in there. We have the exact same symptoms. We have the exact same pains. We now have the exact same 4 medications each. Dang it. Tommy, Jax, Brinkley and I were all beyond sick at the same time last year. I must be doing something really wrong around here for this to keep happening.....

In the 3 days since we had all our company, our house looks like a tornado hit it. I can't keep up with the dishes, laundry, baths, tooth brushing, anything. My head is killing me, Jax's is killing him, Pudgie sounds like a little seal when he coughs and Binky just wants out of the house. Poor kids. Poor Tommy.

Times like this makes me feel so guilty. Tommy is still getting dinner every night... but let's face it, chicken quesadillas and chicken pitas aren't rocket science. Brinkley just keeps heating up her chicken strips, for breakfast and dinner. Pudgie and I are on the water and apples diet. Throw in the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every now and then and viola, we have gourmet sick days going on.

Keepin the fingers crossed tomorrow is better. We are hoping the steroids and Z-packs and all the other little concoctions our doc supplied us with, have us up and around. Sleeping the day away really sucks, no matter how good it sounds.

SUNDAY FUN

Tommy has been planning his Superbowl party for months and months now. It is always that way when it comes to taking time off on his Monday (which is really my Sunday) We were not really concerned with the actual teams in the game, at first, but, we have a die hard Colts fan in this family. We seriously have no idea where it came from either. I am a Cornhusker fan, born and raised. Tommy is a Bears fan. Where the Colts thing came from is anybodies guess. We were thrilled that the Colts were in the big game!!!!!

We had a huge guest list. Only a few could not come. A couple were sick and we felt so bad they couldn't make it. All of Tommy's squad had to work so only a few came, and only stayed over for a couple of hours before shift. We sent dinner to all of them with EJ, so everyone knew we were thinking about them!!!!

All in all, we had upwards of 60 here and what a great time it was. We had more kids than adults and thankfully no one was seriously injured. I call it a successful party when someone spills something, someone bleeds, someone cries, there is a betting pool, at least on person takes a tumble from the jumpee, heads collide on the trampoline, no one pukes and someone drinks a tad too much...... All in all.....MAJOR SUCCESS!!!!

Some parents were stressed something would get broken or bumped or scratched. They were the first-timers to our house. They do know know me and Tommy when it comes to "stuff," in our house. They finally relaxed and let the kids be kids. Nothing got broken, things did fall off the walls, toys were everywhere from one end of the house, down the stairs and through the family room, all the way to the trampoline. It was awesome!!!!

There was so much food I literally ran out of counter space to put it all down. The chocolate fountain was flowing, friends were laughing, kids were playing outside, inside, upstairs, under the stairs, in Pudgie's room, on the jumpee, on the teeter totter, and jumping on the trampoline. It was perfect.

I didn't watch more than 3 minutes of the game. I was enjoying everyone. Talking and laughing and listening to everyone. We ate way too much BIG SANDWICH, I drank way too much lemonade... but I do love Minute Maid in a can.......Yeah, I was not the drinking party girl, that is for sure.

I sat and just watched all of our friends at one point.

It was quite the combination of people and I loved watching each and everyone of them all mingle. We have known everyone that was over, for many years... and some, for decades plus. Some have saved our backs and lives and our marriage, some watched me nearly die and then watched as we rebuilt our life. Some know some BIG secrets about us and vice versa. Some were there on on our wedding day and the births of all our children and some are new to the ways of the Jensens. Some idolize Tommy and his work ethic and some emulate it. Some stayed late and closed the place down and some left early. The one tie that binds us together is we love them all. And we love having them in our lives. They are a huge extension of our family. Thank you for a wonderful Sunday together!!!!!

As proof that we enjoyed our day ever-so-much... I have a whopping 5 photos......and I didn't even take some of them!!!

Motivation

I am a firm believer in steering those you love into thinking something they choose to do was their own idea, no matter how much they have put that idea down or belittled it, previously.

I have watched this played out in movies and cartoons and with little ones at school and adults at training classes and finally, in real life marriages. I know many women who will joke that everything is perfect when you just let the guy think everything was ultimately his idea. It works that way a lot. I am happy to oblige this more often than not!

Today was one of the best days ever, in my marriage. I went to a motivational seminar, with Tommy. It was literally a full day of jam-packed stuff and for me, I felt like we were the only two people there. Well, that is, until the fat man that smelled like fritos had to sit next to me.. Anyways, the list of speakers was long and quite impressive:

*Kurt Warner
*General Colin Powell
*Rudy Giulliani
*Steve Forbes
*Laura Bush (I wish she had more to say on a motivational level. Anything that was not read directly out of her book would have been better than hearing an update on what her twins are doing or what her husband does in his spare time. She didn't have too much to say that was truly motivational. I passed the time during her talk counting secret service agents through out the building. Tommy thought I was nuts! I am sure 99% of the people there had no idea they were even agents.)
*Zig Ziglar
*Steve Nash
There were so many more phenomenal speakers, but their names are in a book, too far for me to walk downstairs to actually go and get.

For the most part, I was only interested in Kurt Warner. I am mesmerized by this man. I have been for a long, long time. Long before he was a big shot. Long before he played in the winning superbowl game for the Rams, and then went on to win the hearts of many. Not because he is a professional football player with Superbowl rings, millions in the bank and nice clothes. He is the epitome of an amazing man. If you ever watch him give an interview with his wife, watch what he does when she speaks. His undivided attention is on her. 100%, and it shows in his face as he watches her. He is amazing. The talk he gave us reminded me of the speech we received when I graduated from the M.C.S.O. academy. It was the talk on, "your window." I will never forget that talk. You can read parts of it here.

The stories Kurt told had us laughing, but in the end what he impressed upon all of us was that,

"If you are not, first, willing to suffer and sacrifice, then you will not be worthy to reap of the rewards."



His words are stuck in my head. His words and many others'.

We also learned about investing. Our instructor was amazing. I am taking his seminar in a few weeks. What they taught us made complete sense... why pay thousands and thousands to investment companies that are only netting us maybe 3% to 5% on what we are investing when we can learn to do it on our own and net 20%-40%. Makes sense.

I have met Rudy Giulliani previously. He came and spoke to our SWAT team when Sgt. Hontz was killed. We did not get to listen to what he spoke about that day. We had the honor of escorting his motorcade at mach 3 with our bike on fire. That was 2 days before my wreck (February 25, 2002). I took full advantage of our photo op at the private air hanger. I am gonna have to search high and low for the disc with that picture on it so I can post it here. I thought my Sgt. was going to stroke out on me when I whipped out my TIME magazine with him on the cover as The Man Of The Year, and asked for an autograph. That's how I roll I guess. That, you see, was another lifetime ago and today is what matters.

At any rate. I am totally motivated in a lot of new areas now. Unfortunately I am still sick. And Jaxi is sick. And we have 60+ people coming to watch the BIG game on Sunday. And this house needs cleaning and organizing and we need to get the food. For now I can't really stress about any of it, because I am too busy checking WEALTH Magazine and stocks. I am going to make my children millionaires by the time they are 21. One day at a time.

And, the best thing that came out of, "Getting Motivated," Tommy decided we should try going to church. What a fantastic idea! (I wonder where in the world that one came from!!!!)

~What's old is new~

~Our loft before.......
~And after....
....the kids are just itching for the new 42" LG plasma that was accidently forgotten during delivery of the new furniture. I think this may become a new hangout for the kids and friends to watch movies and have sleep overs!!!!

Why Today....

Ever have the feeling that you really should slither your tail end back into bed, pull the covers waaaaay up high and turn the television back on... for the rest of the week? Yep, I shoulda done that.

I knew it was gonna be that kinda day when I was wide awake at 0330 hours because I could not breathe. That is never a good sign. So up I was and antsy as ever. Started with my challenge points. Hard to do any exercise when you can't breathe. Kinda hard to be kind and think happy crap when you can't see straight.

It just went to shit from there.

My beautiful new kitchen table, that Tommy and I worked our tails off, on, all Saturday afternoon..... well she is still beautiful... with brand new scratches via Pudgie. I was so mad all I could do was scream at everyone. Probably even louder than normal because I can't even hear myself let alone tell what octave it is coming out at. Many apologies came out of my mouth before the crumb-snatchers toodled out the door to school. Note to self: Make up for this morning. And really, it is still so darn pretty and the scratches are fixable.
For the rest of the day, I was on a mission............I had to wait ever so patiently for our new furniture to come. It was really hard for me to even agree to new furniture. I am really attached to our 12 year old purple leather ultra fluffy and comfy custom baby we have. I couldn't fathom getting rid of it so it has a new home in our loft! The loft is completely transformed and I love that space now. BACK TO WAITING...Ok, so most of the time I was laying on the floor, unable to breathe and dozing off. Pudgie was up so early that he agreed to nap with Daddy. The furniture finally came...... and of course, as is always the case with the twits at Ashley furniture...... parts were missing. I was ready to choke the delivery man out. He even fell over backwards against the wall when I was on the phone with someone in customer service and motioned for him to come over to me. It was so not his fault. I was just ready to kick some ass. Except I still can't breathe, my eyes won't stop watering, my neck is killing me and I really think it all boils down to the fact that I might have an ear infection now.

So, being resourceful, I adjusted. I don't need the new 42" plasma television right this minute. It is making its home in the loft, so I really don't care when that baby arrives. It was the end of the couch that had me at my wits end. Thankfully, I have lots of old leather furniture and it matches almost to a T, with the newbie furniture in our house. Pudgie approves of the way I made due. It may have to suffice for the big party, and really, I am sure not many will notice that something is missing. We are quirky enough that maybe it just looks like I meant to put an ottoman at the end of the couch.
Keeping the fingers crossed the main squeeze does not go off the deep end with this furniture flub. Everytime we get furniture from Ashley, they jack it up and we have sent it back. I think the new couches are rubbing off on me and I don't want to send them back.... Let's see what TJ thinks........

I will have to post the look of the new loft when I finish with a few decorations done on the super cheap!

Figures~

Today is day one of The Wellness Challenge I decided to join. 90 long days of lots of rules. I love a challenge. I hate too many rules. I take losing a little on the ..oh...ummm bad side, wrong side... defeated side. I don't know what I want to call it, but when I decide to do something, I do it all or nothing.

So to cap it off today, I need to remind myself of all my goals, for everyday.....

1. Drink 48 ounces of water (This is super easy!!!)

2. 45 minutes of exercise (doesn't have to be consecutive but mine does)

3. No soda or alcohol

4. No sweets (desserts, pastries, candy, sugary snacks, or cereals), fast food, or unhealthy snacks (chips)sugar-free alts. are ok. THIS SUCKS. SERIOUSLY. MY NAME IS DEANNA AND I AM A SUGAR-AHOLIC.

5. Consume 2 servings of fruits and 2 servings of vegetables

6. No eating after 8 p.m.

7. Read 15 minutes of spiritual or uplifting text

8. Write in your journal

9. Express specific appreciation, love, or praise to another person

10. Personal goal- each week make a personal goal for everyday (read to kids, organize a closet, get 8 hours of sleep) EASY STUFF HERE. I LIVE FOR LISTS!

ONE FREE POINT PER AREA, PER WEEK..for example: only one day with sweets a week, only one day without exercise, one late night snack per week........or one whole day free.

If I didn't feel like I just got hit by a Mack truck today, this would be easy. At least for the first day. We have had a busy, busy weekend. I accomplished tons but I am suffering huge for it all!

*All my rugs are steam cleaned to perfection
*Our awesome purple couch has a new home in our loft
*Our black and white leather furniture needs a new home
*The carpet where the purple couch was got steam cleaned
*I redecorated the loft with new paint
*Jaxi got his new dresser
*I found out the new store, "The Dump," is awesome but for rich people
*Tommy and I refinished our kitchen table and it looks so awesome
*I succeeded in somehow getting a nerve pinched in my neck...causing major illness

My kids have never really seen me sick. A headache or a cold doesn't count for sick with me and I have never in my life had the flu so they got kinda freaked out about it yesterday. Especially Jaxi. I took him shopping for his new dresser and ended up getting sick in Ikea, while driving home and then, when we were nearly home. My apologies to the family that lives on Queen Creek. At least the lunch I left in their rocks was basically the same color. Poor Jax thought he was going to have to drive us home I was so sick. Thankfully Tommy could head in late to work. He waited until I was comfortable and munchies were asleep, to head off for the night. I was in pretty bad shape to have him stay to help me.

In the end, today was a lazy day but I actually stuck to every point in the challenge. There was no hard core crossfitting but I made due with what I could do without getting violently ill. There were no sugar cravings and drinking water was simple. I was afraid to eat anything but oatmeal for fear of projectile decorating and I write blog posts everyday, even when they don't actually hit the blog. Day one, ten points for me. I am just hoping that every day is just as easy. I doubt it will be but I think I can hang with this for 90 days and more!

Tomorrow is a big day for us. I can't wait to post new pictures! Our house is getting a total redo on the inside!

~Routine Reality Smack....

I hate the word, "routine." It runs pretty close to the word, "Obedient," in my book of crappy words. When used in a sentence discussing kids and what they should be doing, I literally want to barf when adults say their kids need to learn obedience. . I can't fathom using the words obedience when teaching my kids to listen. DOGS go to obedience school. Kids choose not to listen. It is not a matter of whether or not they are obedient. Ick, that just grates me and I have no idea where that even just came from.

Anyway... what a week.

It wasn't as bad as it could get, but in my world, I deal with the, "abnormal," rather than, "normal," stay-at-home-mom shenanigans, so most would say, this pretty much sucked. That is ok though. Learned tons.

Lost to re-cap~

My first priority is to convince one husband to lay low at work for awhile. I was stunned to watch the news this morning to find out about this. I worked patrol with his ex-wife. She and I were the only girls on the squad and hung out a lot. I remember when she was pregnant with their first daughter and how she called me all the time after my wreck. I met Eric a few times at work. Something stung me hard about this one losing his life. I can't shake a feeling and it is bugging me so much so I can't even sit still. I feel for his little girls. They are at a hard enough age.

It makes me cringe. I think about my kids and what would happen if patrol cars showed up to my house in the middle of the night. Every night I play this out in my head. I guess I have a morbid sort of routine going on. No one in this house except me lives with this fear. I have often joked about it with neighbors. They would know something horrible has happened if they wake up and there are marked patrol cars in front of my house. That is the way we deal with most of the stressful things in our house. Laughter is our fave form of meds here. Somehow, I don't think Tommy understands that this fear is alive and well every day that he, "races, beeps, and blows us kisses," with his routine good~bye. I have learned to live with it. Today was a, "JOLT," reminder. There are no such things as, "routine traffic stops."

Not many understand these morbid jokes. I get some very, "that is so distasteful," looks from those people. I have often tried to explain that life like this is so different. We don't have the luxury of a Sabbath Sunday. (Yep, I know something about religion, being raised with the Catholic guilt and all!!!!) In reality, no one who has ever been a cop has had this luxury. Everybody is a rookie at the beginning and everybody has worked a Sunday!!! Anyway, everyday that Tommy high tails it away from Casa de CrazyTown, I know it could be the last time I talk to him. The possibility is really slim but the chance is still there and I tuck it away. There are so few that understand this form of relationship. Joe Blow driving to his superstore job to load and unload trucks probably worries about getting squished by falling toilet paper, or Demon Dave's job of running numbers at the bank most likely will not get him too hurt... except for the blister from the calculator. I am kidding. Seriously though, I run all kinds of scenarios through my head daily when he is on shift. On the rare occasion that he is working emergency traffic and can't respond to my text messages in the morning, my kids can instantly feel the stress that surrounds me. Jax has a knack for seeing it in my eyes and knows.... I always get tighter hugs on these mornings. It is how we live. It works for us. I can't say if I were still on the street that things would work so smoothly. Thankfully I am here day in and day out to make sure that things are smooth and I always remind the man that his ultimate goal at work is to, "come home, everyday!" Thank you to the boys and girl on his squad that keep him safe every night and day.

Onto the rest of the rest~

I had a doctors appointment yesterday. I always feel so much better when I see this doctor. He is a healer. A spiritual healer. He travels the world and has a healing room, which I still have not worked up the guts to go to... baby steps for this tough chick.... shhhhhh! Anyway... I was feeling so much better when we talked of doing away with one of my, "life-sustaining meds." Or maybe it was my kids' life-sustaining meds. At any rate, we are changing things and I am looking up about it. The fact that when all is said and done, being off it will induce 10 to 20 to 30 pounds of weight loss has me jumping for my new jeans!!!! (Dang it, I should have done the biggest loser and won all the money~ again, kidding) At any rate, I am so excited and looking at life with the half full attitude more and more....that, I did, what most will sit here with their mouths agape at, when I write it.....

I went with my buddy and her friends to a Mormon women's group last night. I can not remember what the Mormon church calls it for the life of me, but it is the, "Women's Relief Society Night." (Ok, I think that is what it is, gimme a little room here, I went!!!) I have been asked to attend so many times and have never gone for one reason or another but tonight things just fell into place and I wanted to go. The subject was, "Putting the Spark back in your Marriage." I knew they would not be discussing anything sexual and I promised not to open my mouth on the subject, at all! So.... since no one I know ever talks about sex like I do, I was beyond curious as to what the lectures would even consist of. I did not expect anything at all. I say that only because if I set the bar too high I would have been disappointed, so with no expectations I figured I would be, "amused," at worst. And that would have been good. Instead of being amused, I found myself choking back tears during Lisa's story. The talk she gave was amazing and last night was the first time I had ever met her. A true show of faith and love and hope and fear and all out happiness was ever present in her and I loved watching how vulnerable she was willing to be in front of a room full of women. I don't do vulnerable with other women so seeing this had me sort of, "awe struck." Maybe I need to work on a softer side towards other women. I hear I am scary all the time but I just don't see it .... What ever the case..... Amazing story!!!!!

I am so glad Beth called me and told me I was going with her (after her mom told her she was going) last night. This is the reason her and I get along so well. Not many can get away with telling me I am going to do something like that, but her, well, I just click with you lady and I love that you included me last night! I needed that.


So all was good after that... except I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow... and I hogged the entire bed... and Tommy had to get up in the middle of the night and decided to start cleaning up all the files on the computers. He was so frustrated with me. It started at 2 a.m. He was still going strong at noon. That was when the real frustration hit. He made the mistake of telling me to clean up my side of the computer. He wanted to condense all 1900+ photos I had downloaded throughout 2009. I was supposed to go through the photos, delete fuzzy ones and duplicates and then he would teach me the move to the "J" drive. I thought I would speed things up.... So being the computer illiterate I am, I accidentally deleted all of them. Yep, I am serious and yep, I am devastated and yep, I am considering drinking heavily until I get over this screw up of the week.

Between Facebook, missing photos of one of the most amazing years of our life, freakish dreams induced by the Facebook fiasco, sooo many things chewed up by Dozer the Demon Dog, and nights with no sleep, I am so ready to kiss this week good-bye. So this week will be over as of this blog... even though it is only Friday!

Tonight I am ready start my week over. The weekend is here and I am renting a rug cleaner. That always makes everything so much more perfect for me. The simple things ROCK!

I have big, big plans.

We have special deliveries coming next week........ ahhhh and I have tons of redecorating to do tomorrow.

New~

Ahhh...... today is a new day. And after yesterday, I was bound and determined it was going to be one hell of a great day. No matter what I had to do to make it so! I knew it the minute I was up and around, my day was going to be phenomenal. I've had, "the feeling," since midnight, when I woke up on the couch, with the dog on my legs. My Dad gets these feelings too. He says it is an itch.

The morning got better when Tommy came home. It is always better when he comes home.... and we are all alone. The feeling was even stronger by 0900 hours. I didn't mention it to him, but he has seen me get these feelings before.

We were in Vegas.

We won thousands.

If I didn't have kids, I would have been on a plane to Vegas within the hour. I used to do that, back in the day. Hop a plane to Vegas, stay the weekend, play, win, shop, play.... win even more, come home with income for a month.... or five and clothes you see people on red carpets wearing. It was a fun life, for a bit. I couldn't hit the airport today. Ok, let's be honest, I have to plan a trip like that, months in advance now-a-days, so, of course, I can't just go and be as irresponsible as I daydream about being, some afternoons.

Ahhh, let's face it, daydreaming was still not going to render my unscratched itch calmed.....

So, I hit the grocery store, like any normal Mom would, right?

Not quite as fun for a girl like me, but I was without crumb-snatchers and in my own little,"happy place." The grocery store, certainly not a place to throw dice, but they had lottery tickets, just the same.

The itch was unnerving now.

I have a knack for knowing when luck is on my side. Playing lottery numbers didn't seem like something that would quell this feeling. No Powerball Lottery or Pick was gonna fix me. I don't normally do scratchers but I was almost being dragged to them.

Dang, where is a private jet when you need one?

I don't even know anything about scratcher tickets. I don't think I haver ever bought one, ever. Something about my $20.00 bill made me choose a certain ticket. I know, I would think I am crazy too, if I didn't always know what was going to happen. "You gotta run with the feeling when you get it," my Daddy always told me. My Daddy also will take the blame or the credit for teaching me all about gambling, "feelings" ..... depending on how my, "feelings," turn out!

Suffice to say, my feelings have never, ever, in my entire life, been, "off," when it comes to gambling. I have never lost, when all was said and done. EVER! Today was no different. I won $320.00! I couldn't wait to get to grocery shopping, now that it wasn't going to cost me a dime!" And let me tell you, I had serious shopping to do today!!!!

The feeling is still there, and actually, it is even stronger than this morning. Unfortunately I had things I needed to put into the freezer, OR, I just might have called in sick to Mommy hood, for the rest of the day, and hit the Southwest Airlines counter, at Sky Harbor!

HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO ME!

FRUSTRATED~

Today has been one of those days. Nothing has been wrong, yet, nothing was going right. Maybe I just woke up in the wrong bed, at the wrong time, with the wrong warm body, half on top of me. Just a thought. Damn DOG!

Lots to do, not enough time and one little person who did not want to cooperate no matter how much I bribed him today. I made it through the Wal Mart experience with a little child, on foot, in record time, but was still agitated. I wish my parents lived closer and actually wanted to keep the grand kids for play dates and sleep overs.... so I could function. AAAhhhhh, another post for some other time.

When all was said and done, bags unloaded, sans help from the littlest agitator of the family today, I sat down on one of our conversation chairs in a, "humph." The chair proceeded to whistle at me, squeal with delight, vibrate, "zooooom," "zing," and burp.

I burst into tears.

I tried with every ounce of what was left in my, "glass is half full attitude and way of life", to just laugh. It didn't work today. I was just fried. The candle was burned at both ends and the wax had just dripped its last drop in the middle and my flame was instantly extinguished, with the tears of, "who the hell knows where any of this is coming from!!!"

Mental shutdown!

I lifted the pillow to find 6 Zhu Zhu pets, "hidden," from little Pudgie hands, by the big sister who has a really hard time letting Pudgie share toys she knows he will ultimately just break.

Why did we buy a 4 bedroom house?
At this moment... it is about 3500 square feet of wasted space.
When did my kids decide hiding toys behind pillows is the same as putting them away?

I think I am a misunderstood Mom today.

I am definitely on the, "BAD WIFE," list tonight. I broke the ultimate promise in our marriage and I just suck and regret that in a way that words can not even explain.

I read a friends facebook post the other day. It was the epitome of the, "super truth," in my mind.

"CLEANING YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU STILL HAVE LITTLE KIDS IS LIKE SHOVELING YOUR WALK WAY WHEN IT IS STILL SNOWING."

Ain't that the truth? Or not. Kelly's and Ruth's houses are magnificently spotless. You would never know that there are kids living in their houses when you walk through the front door. I would eat off their floors. Funny thing is, I absolutely love cleaning. You would never guess that. I have always loved cleaning. I have a total habit of putting in the movie Bad Boys II and getting into the groove of flying through the motions of getting the house presentable. I love to run the Dyson over and over and over the carpet. Carpet lines get me all excited. Dusting is awesome. Scrubbing the tile is awesome. I love the smell of a clean house. Not antiseptic clean, but deliciously fresh and clean scents. For whatever reason, I have not been motivated to do this lately. I need to get my rear-end out of this insane funk I am in.

Friday night was my, "I am so done with this family and the laziness and one nameless little girls mouth that I started zinging shoes when someone talked back, refused to clean something up because it was not theirs, or because I got a nasty, "look." If I were food, I would be completely well done. Probably, a burnt to a crisp charcoal briquette, to be honest.

I explained that I would not tolerate their lack of respect for me or their father any longer. They were completely confused about the context of the word,"respect," when I used it with the word chores! I went into detail and very loudly and explained how: refusing to do their chores, having to be asked 40 times to do the same daily chore they have been assigned for 3 months, Mom having to finish their chores for them, having to wait for, "just a minute," and the chores never actually getting done, watching all three kiddos walk past the same piece of garbage or little piece of paper on the floor.... for a week, without picking it up and throwing it away because let's face it... they never saw it! I am sure all of these things are old hat for everyone. The excuses stay the same and the issues never change. I think it is a childhood ritual and then a rite of passage when they finally, "GET IT!"

This has made me start hitting the crossfitting and other forms of working out again. I need it. I am getting agitated way too easily, and, as of late it could turn nasty on the wrong person if I don't get up energy transferred into some form of good exercise.

Thankfully I am starting the "Best I Can Be" challenge on February 1st. It is not all about diet and losing weight. It is about being a better ME. Eating better, listening to myself, doing things for Me that are good for me and living better.

I am sure this is gonna get me going in the right direction!!

MISSING............

Look Daddy, No.................

The first time was the charm for this little guy! I have no idea why I decided to ask if he wanted the training wheels off today, but he jumped at the chance to be like Jaxi and Gokie. (It could have been the fact that when he races, like a mad man, down the street, he is on two wheels and does not even know it.)

Justice is the first one that I actually taught to ride without the training wheels... but I really can not take any credit. I took the trainers off and held the seat for one second and off he went. He never fell and he didn't stop. I was amazed. It took a few times to get the turning down but I can honestly say that I didn't have to "teach" him. I think he picked it all up just watching his big brother and sister. Now he can stop saying how it is time for him to be big like Brinkley and Jaxi. He is right there and that makes me sad!!!!!!!!!!! That, and now I am scared because he is wanting to move onto the motorized Razor scooters. I made the mistake of taking him on a few rides with me and now he loves them too. I am thinking this one is beyond the daredevil in the family!!!

Whatever the case..... he likes riding his bike like the big kids now!!!! If only he loved writing his alphabet and numbers as much!!!

Crazies.....

I just finished reading two books in as many days. My favorite character of all time seems to mirror my life some of the time. I relate well with the craziness of the, "Stephanie Plum, By The Numbers," books. She attracts all kinds of crazy sitiuations.

Me? Well, I on the other hand, I just attract "the crazies." Seriously.

I think it is a gift.
Maybe an art.
Tommy questions whether or not it is just me that is crazy and I am the one that finds them to talk with. Maybe because I will talk to:

Anyone.

Anywhere.

Anytime.

Usually.... about.....

Anything!

I joke around and say it is because I have too little adult interraction on a daily basis. Tommy says it is because I am exactly like my Dad. He could talk paint off a wall....... Huh! Either way... I still find all the crazy people and usually, or as of late, it seems that they congregate right in front of my own house.

I actually found a buddy through, "a crazy." Or maybe I attracted that crazy and fate made me search my new buddy out because of a rumor they were related. I don't know. But crazy called the animal control on us a little over a year ago, after I had so nicely told him to, " F - off" after riding his bicycle in my yard, and getting my Tigger dog upset. From that day on, my kids referred to him as, "tatted out dude," because he had sleeves of tats on his arms. (Gee, wonder where they learn these so very politically incorrect terms?) At any rate, first crazy tatted out guy was really nothing for me to concern myself over. (Except I was ticked off)

Seriously.... Some people attract attention in ways that I am dumbfounded by. Lady Gaga has her outfits to get attract people to her (if that is what you want to call them), Pink has her way awesome PINK spikey hair to attract people to her....... Me, on the other hand, I am not so lucky to have a reason for my attraction of people. For an unknown reason, I am absolutely sure, after this week. that I simply am just attractive to, "the craziest of people."

(Ok, that, and now I am also absolutely positive that: some people need a license to bear the brats they have so easily created, and then, found it even easier to intentionally choose not to supervise..... more to come on that)

At any rate....... I am a crazy person magnet!

So I come to this week. Starting the week off great was a priority for me. It was Jaxi's birthday on Monday and I was not even going to be home all day to celebrate with him. I just wanted him to have a great last day of break by playing with all his friends.

You see.... I had to make it to a Dr. appointment by 1:40 (way, way, way, far from our house) or I was going to hit the 5 day mark without more than 2.5 hours of straight sleep at night. I was on day 5 of this and at my proverbial "wits end." With my previous post about being a better Mom, I have had to keep myself in check and relax. This is much easier said than done when my pain levels are through the roof and meds are not working. At any rate..... .....onto the crazies......

After being gone 90% of the day, I came home to my birthday boy and Binky playing with all their toys outside with all of the neighbor kids. I love that I can trust them outside when I am busy. They are just good munchies. They follow the rules and tell me when something has gone, oh, let's use the word, "ASKEW,' when I am not there to see it.

Hence, the story that unfolded when I pulled into the driveway with Justice, at 3:30. The first thing out of Jax's mouth is,
"Mom, they are shooting us with a BB gun."
"A what?,"
was all I could get out. All at once, 8 kids start telling me how one of the boys brought over his real BB gun and the other child is shooting all the kids, at random, with this gun. Of all the kids on this street, this child chooses mine to shoot with a BB gun? SERIOUSLY... could this child be more "in trouble?" I would call it dumb luck that he randomly shot MY kid. Some might call it, "the shit hitting the fan." At any rate..... I made the first child escort me to his house, since in all the times he has chosen to play on our street, no one has had any idea where he lives, who his parents are, or even what the heck his name is.

Needless to say, I was over the edge and flippen TICKED off. You see, the kids go to other moms when they are hungry (that's right... Jax's mom doesn't bake the cookies), other moms when they are hurt (I tell 'em if they ain't bleeding they are fine), but me, I get the stuff that borders on law breaking and dangerous. Hence my response when, brilliant-numero-uno-child-in-trouble tells me, "it's not like I hurt him!" I immediately snapped, "You are just lucky that you did not hurt my child because I could break your flippen neck right now for saying that to me." (Darn it, my tone was ....ummmm.... that of anger and I pretty much yelled, but, I didn't technically break my cop-out of using a lower voice for the new year, since it wasn't my kid I was now on the verge of strangling.)

Thankfully, child #1 takes me to his house and I talked with his, "more than receptive," mom. She was very nice. Although she made some statements that I would put into the, "Oh heck no you did not just say that and make the whole stupid woman label fit you," she was very understanding about how upset I was and promised that it would not happen again. (Now, I think most would agree that know me.....if it were my kids that were out randomly shooting kids that did not have on the proper protection for BB guns, they would not be able to sit down for a month, but that is just me.....And I still have no idea what kind of BB gun this was because the next, "rocket scientist," Mom couldn't tell me if it was an air soft gun, one that requires the CO2 cartridges or even give me the name of the gun)

When I got back to my house, boy #2 had already hidden the gun so I demanded he go home and bring his Mom back so I could talk to her. I honestly did not even think he would tell his mom about the incident so I was utterly speechless when she driving up my street, on the wrong side of the road, none the less.. and squishes her way out of her car with an over exaggerated greeting. Oh man... let me tell you..... if you did need a license to bear babies, she would be permanently revoked.

Mom jumps outta her Mercedes that is about 5 sizes too small for her frame, shakes my hand with a squeeze that she might have thought would either impress me or scare me and proceeds to tell me that it is "only" a BB gun and you can't put "real" bullets in it, as long as everyone has eye protection on (which no one but the BB gun shooters had) and a vest on (again, none of the kids had this either,) there is no problem...blah blah blah. I seriously had to just stop listening to her and just watch her lips move. A woman like this is the reason why I do not have a lot of female friends...... I hate IGNORANT women who talk out their ass. It is hard enough for women to prove themselves in this world, without this kind of "help," from someone, like her.

I had to agree to disagree with her reasoning and just end the conversation with, "your child is no longer welcome to play on our street anymore." Off she drove. In a huff. Jax came up to me and whispered, "Wow, I thought you were gonna have to take her down or something. It looked like she wanted to fight!"

Not 5 minutes later, along comes parent number 3. I could feel all the kids staring and there was a sudden sucking in of all the surrounding air. They were all holding their breaths as Daddy to the first little guy, approaches me. He is, of course, tattooed up and down both arms and walking like he has a score to settle. All I could think was..."GREAAAAAT here we go!!!!!!!!!!!" I am pretty sure the kids were now taking bets on something bad happening with this one!!! Sometimes first impressions are dead on.

Dad proceeds to introduce himself, shakes my hand like a normal human being and then sternly tells me how he does not appreciate me talking to his son about real guns. HMMMMM.......... I literally crossed my arms right there and bit my tongue....... intentionally.......Are you freaking kidding me? His little boy obviously lied about what was said and to whom, but that was neither here nor there because Daddy tells me that he has guns and knows all about them and the laws. I had no doubt he knew the laws. I am sure at some point he had lived in a jail and had become farmiliar with the feel of handcuffs. I'm just sayin'.........

Biting my tongue, biting my tongue, smiling, nodding, smiling... ok I had had enough of his "knowledge."

I actually tried to calmly explain to, "Mr. gun expert Dad," that little "it is only a BB gun, gun" can sometimes look like a real semi-automatic rifle and people have been shot for holding, "less real," looking guns. Again, it was like talking to a rocket scientist about sex. Complete blank expression and no clue where the rocket was supposed to end up!

I was dumbfounded at all the parents and their simple disregard for any of the safety of "the kids" that, "their kids," could have hurt. Sadly, I was not that surprised once I found out that one of the boys comes from a broken home and the other is rarely supervised when he is outside playing. That, and when he does come to our street, there is no one supervisiing him.

Hmm. Maybe I am the one with the parenting problem.

After about 15 minutes of conversation, Dad and I shook hands again and agreed that his little boy would have to wait a month to come play with my kids. Although, I really can not speak for the families on our street, I did it anyway and it appears that most people won't argue with my decision.

I never did find out exactly what kind of BB gun it was. All rocket-scientist mom would blurt out so intelligently was, "it just looks real but you put BB's in it, not real bullets." NICE!

Now, a few days after the fact, I started thinking that maybe it is just me and I need to let go of my kids a little more. I was the only parent that was upset .... Although, I was the only parent they told.

Friday, the 8th... 4 days after the fact.... this happened.......................... Guess what kind of "gun" he had! I guess I am not being as stupid or over protective as I thought.