HIS FIRST......

Jax is #25

Jax loves this game. He was devastated when he thought he would be too heavy to play quarterback but was willing to give the line a try. Even after his first week of practice and weighing in under the line limit, he found out quickly that any position that allows him to tackle the quarterback and the running backs... oh who am I kidding..... he likes tackling anyone and everyone so he immediately lost all interest in the offense.

The first games of the season were quite the learning experience. This season runs exactly like the NFL season. They play games but work on the fundamentals of the game in preparation for the fall season. The coaches are actually on the field assisting the boys but need to be clear of all plays and no one is allowed to argue calls with the refs. The league is all about teaching respect for each other and ones own self and I love that any parent that causes problems will be escorted out by security, and will not return. It is huge since come fall season, we will be traveling all over Arizona for these games.

It was so fun sitting in the high school stands watching the boys play... and then getting to hear their names on the loud speaker when they made a good play. I tried so hard to get the videos of Jax's tackles and them announcing his name but..... it just did not work because I was way too slow when he made a good play and the announcer got it out there. Technically speaking, they don't keep track of the wins vs. the losses, but they keep score and stats... and we do know who wins. Jax was so excited that they won their first game and had 6 major tackles during that game. 18-0 was a great way to start the season. They played a second game at 5PM the same day. It started out rough. The quicker kids on his team got a rude awakening about big boys and getting their bells rung. Jax's coach switched the positions around after the purple team scored their first touchdown. He told Jax to "take the big kid down and don't be intimidated"....... Jax goes to school with him so he was excited to go up against someone who is two grades older than him. He rocked this game and they ended up winning 12-6.

Lesson learned.... the bigger they are - the harder they fall.

He even earned his first sak. We are definately gonna enjoy the next few months... even if it entails 4 or 5 practices a week and 2 games on Saturday.

*Just a Mom's bragging side note. Coach Joe's son Jozia celebrated his birthday on Sunday. We went and had a fun filled day. I was such a proud mom when Joe pulled me aside and asked me how Jax was liking playing and practicing. I explained to him that he has fallen head over heels in love with the game. He loves playing defense.. can take or leave the whole offense thing.. but wants to learn learn learn. He was even more excited to find out that we run Jaxi through some Crossfit workouts. It was when Joe told me that Jax is a true natural when it comes to the game, that I got really excited for Jax . Joe explained that Jax listens, learns, and demonstrates what he has been taught. Plus he just does not let anyone get past him.. He finished with, "Jax is just a good boy and I am really glad he is on our team!" That is what makes me proud. That and the fact that he actually stopped to help up anyone he took down on the field and anyone he "might have slightly injured" at his first two games.

I can not wait for your Grammies and Grampies to see you in action!!!!


De Anna

6, 7, 8

Saturday morning was an early one for all of us. Well, if you consider 6:30 early.

Jaxi had his first two scrimmages this morning. It was so fun. HOT, but fun. We realized that Mom can not sit on High School bleachers anymore. Holy mother of pain. I thought my pelvis was going to crack when I tried to stand up.

Jax fell farther in love with hitting kids... I think I fell farther in love with my kid. He has a passion for playing and it is what we held off for. For years I was criticized for not putting him in every sport like everyone else. I made him get the good grades and prove he really wanted it. I am not about to force my kids to play sports because everyone else is doing it. He now pretty much blows me away in our workouts.... HE WAS READY FOR THIS!! I can not even describe the look of PRIDE in Tommy's eyes when he watches him. Jaxi has always been the quite kid. I think I have spanked him one time in his life. He is just a good kid. He doesn't grab ass with the other kids who have to be yelled at to come back from water breaks and he is always the first on the field asking the coaches questions. I love it.

The rest of the day included a wonderfully crippling workout...... Our neighbor thought a bad guy was either chasing me as I ran circles around the block or Tommy was just being really really mean to me...... a ton of play time and a bunch of movies after BBQ'ING. Some things just rock.

Sunday brought on lazy lazy lazy-ness... Oh wait... that has been all of Spring Break. And it agrees with me... except for the fact that every flippen morning Pudgie comes straight to me and sticks his little face in mine just breathes. What a beautiful way to wake up.

Naps and movies and Oregano's for Pazookie..... and more movies rounded out the day. But not without decorating all the concrete in our neighborhood. The kids got a total kick out of chalking on the street and all over our driveway... in the middle of the night. Daddy even got in on the action. I think that I will pay for his chalking.... but whatever.

Monday was an indoors all day kind of day. Laundry and cleaning things up, which didn't seem to put a dent in anything, consumed a lot of the day. Tommys sheer frustration at being home is shining brightly. He gets exposed to the things he is normally sleeping through or walking out the door from. He finally told me, "You were a lot more patient when you were on the road." "YOU THINK?" was all I could get out. Football practice and more chalking and ending the night with the movie 2012.........

And finally, Brinkley has fallen in love with "Splurge & Save," on HGTV. She wants to start re-decorating our house...... I told her that she has to figure out the whole "SAVE" only part and we could re-do something!!!!!! (It won't last, trust me!!!) And.....

I found out that I have been doing my points for my challenge wrong... since day one. WONDERFUL!

On to Tuesday..............

DAY 5

I was supposed to be up before the sun this morning. We went to bed late. Football rocked last night and then there was Burger King. That place seriously grosses me out. Crumbsnatchers love it. Blech. Couldn't end the night without watching the newest episode of Flashforward. I roamed the house until 0330.

I have to finish Jax's room. I have some serious plans I need to put into motion around here and if I start a project without finishing his room... BIG TROUBLE, little momma! (Right Daddy?)

It was sprinkling when I walked Daddy outside. Plans were gonna be squished again.... but the sun came out (Jax must have a deal with going on with God these days.... can't elaborate on that one though)... and we jumped into our suits..... even if it was only gonna be a quickie of a play-date!!!

Someone needs some serious re-training on how we swim without the jacket on. Someone else got hurt an hour and a half into the fun and someone else was stressed he would be over tired for football so he told me we could only be in the sun and water for 90 minutes. It turned out awesome. There was hardly anyone at the pool, the sun was just right, the water was warm, no one was whining and it was just perfect enough to get a little color without getting burned!!! We had to come back and get the littlest Jensen down for a nap. He has been difficult, to say the least,... as of late. And, with his cough, he sounds like a seal, again. Gonna sanitize all the outside toys again, the entire house and maybe Pudgie too!!!!!

10 days of planning fun is in the works:
*I know exactly what kind of fun we will be scheduling for every single day next week
*I get to watch my baby tackle the living daylights out of kids at his first game
*I may actually get a day off from everyone in this household. (Seriously doubtful since I got the major guilt trip for just saying I wanted to stay home and paint Jax's room during his practice today, just so I would not have to deal with little hands touching wet paint and then touching everything else,.....well, that, and the fact that I am embarrassed to say that I started his re-do project before Christmas and it is still not done! I hope someone else can fall into this crappy parent category too!)
*And we have Daddy home for 10 straight days... which has already started costing a fortune! SERIOUSLY!

Spring cleaning and de-cluttering is lingering from... at least last year. Making a ton of headway.... but I hate that our upstairs was 79 degrees on Tuesday and I had to turn the air on. Just went random I guess.

So much "goings" on..... and then there is Pudgie....... a post within a post.... on my 4 year old that apparently likes to take pornographic photos while Mom does the dishes. Maybe it is worse that I didn't exactly know what the photos were of... until I literally stared for a good 10 minutes turning them upside down and sideways...... That is for later.

I have also made the decision to dye my hair. Well, streak it. This should be interesting.

Spring Break 2010.. never a dull moment I tell ya!!


De Anna

DAY 4

Most were better this morning. Thank God.

I got seriously impressed with a spunky spitfire as well. So far so good, but,

Lola died last night. The kids were devastated. She was overweight, to say the least. Heart attack, or something.

I got on a serious run with cleaning...... Popped in Bad Boys 2, banished the kids upstairs and I was good to go. I love the smell of leather cleaner. I hate the smell of our new couches. Win, win! The day just ran smoothly... or as smooth as it could.

It has been a long, somewhat trying....... 4 days. We have seen Daddy for about 35 minutes this whole week. I miss him. A serious sex assault and other demons of destruction kept him late every day this entire week. Some days he was held over for more than three hours. Welcome to Spring Break........ We have you for 10 straight days now and we will be taking serious advantage of the time...... although this usually costs me an arm and a leg to have you home....... (hence the rower........)

Working on making it to the water park tomorrow........ should probably put some pics up. Then again, there are a lot of things I should do...........

De Anna

DAY 3

Well, one is down for the count with a 102.3 fever. One was , well.. I will just say... didn't have a great night tonight because of an incident... and one is down and out right tired and worn down. Day 3 wasn't was bad as it could have been, but eye opening, to say the least....... (Thanks for coming on our nightly walk with us and chatting with me Ruth!!)

Basically, a lazy, lazy day. Two of the three decorated cookies and donuts and goodies at Trish's house for St. Patty's day. I think they just ate the donuts. Least I didn't need to bring anything back home with me. The donuts, chocolate chip cookies and butterfly cookies were a hit!! I knew there was a reason I don't bake!!!

I am sure everyone will touch pillows early tonight and I will get some house cleaning done. Or not..

I need to get a mean workout in or I may just open up my mouth and not be so politically correct........ We shall see........

Day four should be interesting, to say the least..............Tommy, did I mention that I really, really miss you???

De Anna

DAY 2

Another successful and wonderful day.

Someone asked for the day off of football... after someone else ran him through her Crossfit workout at the gym. I am not sure what the deal is with the trainers at this gym, but after the 3rd one approached me to "help" develop a workout, I think they figured I may just hurt them if they made me take my earbuds out one more time.

The three crumb snatchers want to swim.... it lasted 29 seconds today. Then they begged me to boil water on the stove and just dump it into the pool. Ummm yeah... NOT!

After an afternoon of playing with our cul-de-sac buds, Gilbert Police Officer Howard decided to join the kiddos. Tommy will be writing a letter to his supervisor. Most people do not really understand that this officer just made a huge impression on, no less than 12 kids. He could have gone on his merry way to eat with a partner, talk on his cell phone or just scramble his tail far, far away from dirty, little, grubby paws that were undoubtedly going to touch all the equipment in his car. Or I should say, his office. Most bankers or people who work at a desk all day wouldn't let a neighborhood of kids touch their keyboard, slobber on their phone (radio mic) or climb on all their office equipment. Thanks for your patience!!! Tommy and I know that it is rewarding and frazzling, all at the same time!!!

(And, no, sweet friend of Jax's... He is not "too good" to stand in a photo with a police car... he has been doing it his whole life and is just not overly thrilled or impressed with the stuff anymore... now bring out the swat toys and you will see a smiling and very impressed kid!!!!)

We ended the night snuggling together watching Jax's and my favorite family show, "Flashforward." What a tease tonight was... and we can't wait for more. Pudgie fell asleep on the chair again and Binky was literally holding her eyelids open to see the end. I think this whole vacation stuff is wearing them out! LOVE IT!

Bring on day 3!!!!


(I still can't believe I missed the photo op of him in Pudgie man's patrol car!!!)

De Anna

DAY 1

We survived day one of Spring Break. Barely....

By 3:30 Brinkley was whining that she was bored. Sucks to have her life, I guess. Toys flying out the garage faster than the kids can play with them... A bedroom that is filled with art supplies and more... and if worse comes to worse... her baby brothers room that is basically just a toy room as well. Yeah, she has it rough and is pretty much getting ready to live on the street if she keeps complaining.

We started the day off with Mommy forgetting that Pudgie had half day pre-school. Oooops. That's what I get for staying up all night re-arranging furniture and getting stuff ready to sell.

I have promised my kids that the daylight hours are for fun. I am not going to force them to clean and do chores inside when it is so darn beautiful out. The cleaning is for darkness. And that is turning me back into the night owl I like being.

Football is wearing Jax out. Last nights practice was 2 hours and 10 minutes long. Saturdays was almost 2 and a half hours and Fridays was almost 3 hours. He is working his tail off while the other two play theirs off... except for when Pudgie need to be brought back down and I body slammed him for kicking his sister. Tired children = BRATS. But, he feel asleep snuggling my arm, in our big fat chair. That made all the fighting so worth it.

Day one = 100% SUCCESS

De Anna

Spring....WHAT?

It somehow happened.

I guess when you are literally flat on your back for 5 full days it is bound to happen. You tend to forget things. You intentionally do not listen to other things and then suddenly someone says something that ultimately smacks you across the face and makes you wonder where the heck time went.

This happened Wednesday night. At dinner. Which consisted of Sour patch kids and maybe Skittles.... I am still kinda fuzzy on it all. I do however, remember, and way too clearly, Brinkley blurting out...."We have a half day tomorrow. It is conferences." "Wait...what? Are these the conferences for kids that are not getting it... what are they called?" "Conferences mom." "NO, what kind? Do I have to go or what?" My kids are looking at me like I am 100% alien now. Then, yeah, then she throws out to me, "and Mrs. Mendoza said we are gonna be done after Friday!" "Done with what?" "School."

What the heck? How in the world did I miss the fact that my kids are now on Spring Break? And to top it all off, I did not plan one single thing. Woohoo I am now the mom of the decade, let me tell you.

So here we go......... Spring is Sprung'n.... and I have no desire to be inside. Chores are gonna still be there when the day is done..... and everything else can wait. The sun is out, the hoses are on, the water fights have started, football practice is every night, the breeze is blowing, I just watched my 10 year old beat his Daddy in a Crossfit workout, I planted awesome purple ice plant in our yard, the mailman just came..... all is right in our little part of the neighborhood.

So, now I must figure out how we will work some Spring fun into the next two weeks.

For now, I am liking sitting outside, watching Brinkley and Baylee marvel at the two new members of our neighborhood who just recently hatched. We joked how, just a few days ago, momma hummingbird was dive bombing us as we got way too close to her babies in the nest in front of Miss Becky's house. I am amazed at how tiny these little babies are. The nest is no bigger than a jewelry ring box. All the kids are being so incredibly careful not to touch the tree and just to look at the babies. Simply amazing!!!! So, we will be spending the majority of our break going to football practice, scrimmages and games, all the while, watching this, not-so-little guy of mine, do his most favorite thing. He made weight today, so he is caught in a catch 22. We thought he was going to be at a, "line only," weight but he lost almost 9 pounds this week and can play any position, preferably quarterback, but we will see how it all pans out this week. I just enjoy watching him get hit... or I guess I should say... watching the other boys hit him while he stands there like nothing at all even happened. I almost feel sorry for the little guys that drill with him and get punished for side stepping when he is coming at them full speed for a tackle.

What happened to my baby?

I am caught off guard some days when I look at how grown up he looks.

It's gonna be a good, good two and a half weeks.

De Anna

WORDS

Some days they are just not enough, but tonight, it is all I got....

Beth, Dan and Russ.. Thank you so much for the wonderful blessing. And yes, Sydney, I really do have faith in it!

You guys are the best!

SERIOUS PAIN

I can handle a lot of pain. I am just that way. Yesterday totally disprved my toughness threory. Let me back peddle.....

Friday night was way awesome. Jax had his loongest practice to date. Almost 2 and a half hours, under the lights, tons of drills, uphill running, the parachutes came out and I literally felt like my boy was gtrowing up right in front of my eyes. We were so excited for Saturday. A big boy physical, fitting for pads, his new helmet (seriously, how can a parent put a used football helmet on their kids head? Gross,) We had tons to do.

At 0700 hours I woke up with a head-splitting headache. I ran for the bathroom. This kept up all day long and I was getting scared. Nothing could touch this pain. Nothing would stay down and I was home alone. I finally broke down and told Tommy I needed to go to the hospital.

Thank God for Gilbert hospital. I was in a room within 10 minutes but the pain would not go away. The ER doc took one look at me and ordered a CT Scan and a spinal tap. They started IV's and pushed a lot of drugs that had no effect.

After an entire day in the ER, we still have no answers. They called it a really bad headache. HMMMM.... One that is non stop, even today. Hopefully something gives............

Gettin Away~

I like to think I am really blunt. I try not to be overly mean about things but I don't necessarily beat around the bush and sugar coat things in life to too many people. Life is too short to not live in the real world.

So, this weekend, we chose to push me, a little over the edge, and back into the real world. Saturday was the 8 year anniversary of my motorcycle wreck. As Tommy says, "it really is a Happy Anniversary and if people would stop and think about it before they say how sorry they are that the day happened, they too would understand why I am happy about it, every year!" At any rate, I have neither celebrated, nor have I sat wallowing in the, "what could have been," for my life, since that day. It is what it is and some days, that just sucks.

I have, however, physically and emotionally had difficulties actually being in a vehicle and going and doing something. Physically I would nearly get sick and emotionally I was just a shell of a person staring into space thinking about what I would do if I had to actually go somewhere.

We decided last year that we needed to get back to our tradition of going up to our favorite cabin, in the snow, with friends and spend the weekend sledding, playing games, watching movies, laughing and freezing, thawing out, refreezing, getting breathless, and snuggling up to the ones we love and adore most in the world. I didn't even flinch when I made the reservations for this weekend. I actually had forgotten about the date and didn't remember until Tommy brought it up. Ewww I had serious second thoughts about going. Especially when there were bad travel conditions, snow in the forecast and I had been sick. I could have made up a thousand more excuses but it was time I suck it up and grow up and get past the past. It will haunt me forever but I am stronger for it! Yep, that all sounds well and good and I can talk a mean game, but in reality, I cry about it, still. And to answer this question for the 10,000th time,

"YES, I MISS IT EVERY DAY. THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. IT ISN'T LIKE I LEFT ON MY OWN TERMS AND IT ISN'T LIKE I SUCKED AT MY JOB. I LOVED IT, I MISS IT AND I ALWAYS WILL."

So with all this put deep into the back of my mind, we made plans and we stuck to them. Except for the fact that the entire family slept late... until 10 on Friday morning.... Ooops, but dang, the park the night before was just too much fun and I wanted the kids to enjoy the night.......... sooooooo.....

Friday we set out on our "family and friends trip" to the snow and I didn't look back as we headed north. The kids were jumping for joy that we let them take the entire day off of school. Dozer was itching to go play with her friends, "the pigs," and I just needed a break from life as I know it in our house.

We were counting the seconds to get out of the truck. Justice was itching the minute he saw snow... unfortunately it was an hour before the cabins. Once we got there, it seemed like a millisecond before the kiddos were hill bound on discs and sleds going mach three with their hair on fire. I have to admit, Pudgie is our dare devil who laughed the entire way down the hill, air born, and landing, or I should say, face planting at the bottom of the hill... and rolling with that baby laughter all the way back up. He loves the snow. Jax and Pudgie belong in the snow. They spent more time out there, together, than all 12 of us put together. It was just awesome!

Friday night we learned how to play Texas hold 'em. Well, Tommy and I learned how to play it. Everyone else plays it and plays it, "well to competition-tournament-awesome." Me, I am a blackjack and craps player, but a gambler through and through so I take learning the art of gambling extremely seriously. Tommy had a 'lil too much to drink and ended up losing his shorts. I, on the other hand, lasted to the final two. Not too bad.

We really just had a great, great weekend. I readily admitted, on Saturday, it was the anniversary of my accident and I left it at that. No tears, no deep breaths, no aches in the heart. Just plain and simple... 8 years ago something really, really bad happened and 8 years later, our life is really, really good. I have more important things to worry about then the, "what if's of yesterday," that I have held way too tightly to, for so darn long.

We seriously have enough things going on to make me crazier than normal so I need to let all the insignificant things just go, from here on out. Yep, the grudge~master has to just give it up!!!! We are really busy.... Jax needs to be ready for his 4th grade presentation on the who's who in Arizona, he starts hands on tackling next week during football (God, please let this little boy get healthier and feeling so much better so he can make it to school and practice and maybe give him a break on the whole growth spurt thing that is going on with this little man...... Seriously..... he can't keep growing so fast because it is just making him so sick that he can't handle it!!! THAT AND...HOLY MOLY HE IS EATING ME OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME BY LIKE 10 TIMES THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF FOOD THAT HE EATS...) then there are the awful things that Brinkley will have fly out of her mouth that I will have to smooth over and then there is Pudgie.... whew.... that boy is running me ragged and I love it. I am sleeping like 3 hours a night and most days I feel like I'm in a daze but that is pretty standard. Then there is," THE," boy who is plotting out life on a time line... our life, and I have got to keep things in perspective while trying to make the house:

calm enough to study in
clean enough to live in
comfortable enough to laugh in
and homey enough to be, "us," in...

all while we stay on Daddy's path, without driving each other nutso.

So here's to letting go, moving forward, loving today, growing and holding it all together, at least from the outside!!!!!

Another great weekend of insights and fun and love and laughter and learning!!!!

Some warm moments from our chilly-cha-cha-get-away weekend!

It may just be me, but doesn't she look like a Mi from the Wii? You know the leg less and arm less ones that bowl?

Paths~

In a perfect world, no one plays favorites with kids, especially their own, and no one is supposed to play favorites at work. I think that is why HR was created. Either that or the people that are spineless wonders can't take jokes in the real world, and need babysitters. Ok, anyway..

A short.... for explanation. I remember one of my favorite Sergeants, whom I never had the pleasure of working for, pulling along side me one night and telling me he would be putting in for the K-9 position that would be opening soon. UMMM WHAT? I was young, naive (yep I did not always know everything people!!) and couldn't fathom why he would be leaving the perfect squad with the perfect hours and weekends off. He soon explained. In police land, you are either liked, well-liked, loved beyond words or are just taking up space with your fat head. This particular supervisor was loved beyond words by everyone....especially staff and he was told, he would be testing for the postion. One of my first, "ah ha," moments as a rookie. In other words, he would be going through the motions of the testing process and undoubtedly get number one, and would make his mark in the special assignment.... and that there, was the beginning of a planned path for him. One that he never thought he would take. If you know nothing about government, know this... It is not what you know... IT IS WHETHER THE PEOPLE THAT COUNT, LIKE YOU. Ok, half joking. (Side Note: He is one of the most loved Commanders now. Paths I tell you... they are laid out for you when you least expect it and most often, rather than not, you should follow it... if only out of morbid curiosity!!! ... Just sayin')

If you didn't think I was serious about being really out of it the past month.... trust in this...... On TJ's work days, I seriously may have said 15 words to him and spent about 5 minutes awake with him. I am not joking. This is not good because we destress together after his shift and he tells me things that he needs to talk about. I return the favor by ranting and raving about how one small child swallowed a magnetic steel ball or how one sassy girl is going to get her mouth duct taped shut if she is not careful. At any rate, somehow, someway, Tommy and I missed one very, very large...... GIGANTIC, conversation with each other this month.

A path had been set for Tommy. At work, that is. I knew that this would happen. Eventually. Unfortunately there were some obstacles that he had to take the lead on and overcome, or the path was going to be blocked. Still, we didn't catch each other to discuss this. Kinda like me forgetting to tell him I am pregnant-kind-big-stuff. *(NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I am not pregnant... just an example...BREATHE TOMMY)

Imagine my surprise when I listen to my answering machine one afternoon to hear some random guy leave, my guy, a message about his start date for school. I thought maybe he had misspoken and meant some kind of specialized training school, at work. I wondered if he was going to be traveling for his training and if I was going to tag along........ Fingers crossed we are hitting VEGAS BABY! (I have my priorities!!)

Yeah, not so much.

When we finally sat down for dinner I asked him about the message. He looked at me sort of puzzled and then said,

"Oh I guess I didn't tell you, or did I? I am going back to school. I am testing for Lieutenant."

Yeah, I think I would have remembered that one. I think I would have remembered that I needed to come up with, oh $16,000.00.... by, like, Tuesday, of last week. Yeah, I think, nope, I know I would have remembered if someone would have mentioned any of this to me, prior to the week before school starting. The kids sat staring with their mouths full-on open, with food inside them.

Jax is really inquisitive about Daddy going back to school. Of course none of it made sense when I joked....
Here is how it works.
Daddy goes to school.
Daddy tests for Lieutenant.
Daddy makes Lieutenant.
Mommy forks out $16 grand for a $12 grand raise.
Jax just stared into space at that point. I told him I was kidding. Kinda.

Daddy gets to start doing homework with the kiddos now, so that is really cool to them. They don't quite understand what his homework will entail. I do know that, technically, Tommy could retire and be a stay at home Dad right along side stay at home Mom. Spending every waking and sleeping and resting and working out and shopping and lunching and playing and teaching the kids about school stuff, and cleaning the house, and ..... oh man that list is getting long.........minute of every day of every week of every month, with me.

Yep, Tommy is going back to school. And come hell or high water, if Tommy retires from the force in 4 years.... this schooling better come in handy for his second career!

Just kidding Hon, I love you and am so proud of your decision to do this! You are going to do amazing!

And I can't wait, to one day, pin your Lieutenant badge on you!

No pressure!

HOT MESS

I am basically going to write February off as 28 days of uselessness for me. I have literally been sick the entire month. Unless you know me, you wouldn't know this. I can fake a lot of things, and really well. Most people would not even know I wouldn't think twice about sticking a sharp object in their eye because, seriously, I can fake nice well, especially with people I can not stand..... any way....I have even been out practicing football with Jax, even though I can't see straight, hear anything at a sound level below high pitched screaming and am undoubtedly thanking God that I have not been pulled over for looking like a drunk driver. My equilibrium is so far gone right now that when I sit down on the couch, if I get up too quickly, I run to get to the kitchen sink, because the bathroom is too far and I really don't want to clean up my own vomit. Yep, 24 days and counting.... Not exactly the month I am putting down in the history books as anything worth being considered awesome...... And really... the worst, for me, is yet to come.

February month end is the hardest time of year for me. I will get an email. (Cathy, I have been so sick I neglected to send you a note on Saturday, but I did shed tears for Tom when I was reading Chief Rodbell's letter) I will not read my emails until Monday. I am doing something that has been literally and physically impossible for me to do, for eight years. And hopefully, I will forget to remember and February will reinvent itself and morph into the best month. That is yet to be seen.

For now, I am still a mess. January 30th I got sick in a matter of 30 minutes. I thought I pulled a muscle in my neck. I thought I could tough it out. I thought hot baths and back rubs were my cure all and I would be fine. Two weeks later Jax and I were in urgent care and two days later, Jax was better. I thought I was but still had some lingering effects of a massive sinus infection and what my doc described as an inflamed eardrum. I guess being me, I assumed that he meant I had an ear infection and he was treating it as that. I also guess I should never assume anything when it comes to UC docs. The meds he gave me are not for ear infections and and the strength of the steroids were basically for a kid.

I am living in a floating wonderland right now. Between the pain and the light headedness, I am a wreck. To top it off, I had to go get Justice's kindergarten enrollment paperwork this morning and that put me on an internal roller coaster I couldn't get off of.

I was watching him in my rear view mirror on the way home from my doctor today. He had fallen asleep in his car seat. I burst into tears. He is so big.. but so darn little and snuggly and squishy that there is just no way he is ready to be big and go to kindergarten, all day, without the option of mommy pulling the plug on the day whenever she feels the need to. I kept crying. Darn it. I have no problem letting him go to pre-school. It is my choice to send him one day or three or five. I don't think twice on his school days. He is actually gone longer than regular school hours and he is doing school work. I have no problem leaving him even later when I have to do something that requires I be gone even after the kids are home from school. Again, my choice. Kindergarten is not my choice. I am a wreck. I take no responsibility for him testing early for kindergarten. Then again, seven days is pretty ridiculous. The cut off should be December 31st. Just a thought. Still, I am not throwing myself into cramming his sponge of a brain with everything kindergarten. After all, I am an emotional wreck about it as it is. I have given the teaching task to Brinkley. She is taking this seriously. The whiteboard comes out everyday....... the cd's are phonograming and the dry erase markers are flowing.... and those two are so very happy doing school together. Justice even does his homework at the kitchen table.

Back to the mess that is me. My doc was really mad at me today. He looked straight at me and said, "and why did it take you three weeks to come and see me?" "Um yeah... I know......." This happened to me in 1995. He was my doctor then, as well. I had a virus settle in my ears. (I worked in county jail at the time so thank God it didn't kill me... blech) The virus caused such a massive infection that my eardrum actually inverted and I was off work for 6 straight weeks. It was so bad that rumors started that I actually ran off and got married....... Today was not too far off from that diagnosis. It may or may not have been a virus, my eardrum is happily swollen twice its side.....and I have blood in my ear, behind my eardrum. Oh yeah, and I feel like my face is in a vice grip. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!

I am sure to be sick tonight. I am on a massively large amount of antibiotics. When the pharmacist decided it is in my best interest to give me a consult on my medication, even after I decline it..... I now know 1000 mg is HUGE! Uuughhhh!

I still played football with Jax, I MANAGED dinner (not to say it was something fantastic), I helped do homework, I planned the weekend, I got the kids to bed with no yelling and I actually didn't barf. That ranks right up there with a successful day to me. .....

Except for the magnetic ball thing...... we are still waiting for that to come out.....................and that alone is another long story............................

PUMMELING

After a lot of himming and hawing, dragging my feet, making excuse after excuse, forcing straight A report cards, making him promise outrageous things, making him ask me 25 times at a bare minimum, making him work extra hard at wall ball workouts, making him run and run and run, making him start practicing yoga and then more wall ball workouts... hoping and praying that all this would discourage the boy..........

it has only made him stronger, more resilient and more determined to be the best there ever was........

Jax starts tackle football tomorrow and I think I am already hyperventilating. The thought of what could happen has me in fear mode. I know what could happen. I took some pretty hard hits playing softball (a broken eye socket was probably the worst it ever got and I know that is nothing compared to what could happen) so I am just hoping that Jax is going to listen and practice exactly like his coaches tell him.

Nothing like waiting until the midnight hour..... I signed Jax up on Saturday and practice starts two days later.... NICE. He is amped beyond words. We went and bought his new cleats. He picked out his Under Armour football gloves and is beaming. If I would let him, he would be outside all night practicing. His intention is to be the quarterback. He is the go to kid at school for football plays so I am hoping that, what I think I see as his Mom, is really the RAW talent that many parents keep telling me has. I don't want to be that parent that is blind to their child's inability to play and forces them into it anyway.

Jax has the drive right now. He definitely is large enough to hold his own and since he is going to play by weight... well, the possibility exists that he could be playing with high school boys.

We shall see how this all goes. He starts out with 4-5 practices a week. Bootcamp style. I love this. I will get to get my second workout of the day in during his practice time and Binky and Justice will get to play until they fall over from exhaustion.

Bring on the pummeling!

De Anna

SCHOOL

I am in the middle of stock marketing/investing school right now. I had an extra pass for a guest to attend with me that I couldn't pay someone to use. I am serious. I asked everybody and no one wanted to come. I am going at this new challenge, solo. I am learning about controlling our 401K, covering calls, options and advanced options and strategies for up trends, sideways trends and down trends. That, coupled with the fact that I am bound and determined my kids will be financially independent of the rat race of an unstable corporate world, before they are done with college, has me on an adrenaline rush I can't even explain. Going solo to the class is good for me. There were hundreds of people with me. I found out what a very little world this is when I talked to my partner sitting next to me and he expalined that he is related to one of my police trainees from the P.D., before I became a motor. Small, small world.

At any rate, I sat, picnic style, on our front lawn, after school, telling Tommy everything about my 10 hours of numbers and lines and graphs and definitions and dollar amounts and stock symbols and futures and indexing. It was all so new and exciting. Like a new world had opened up to me and I had a new purpose. I couldn't stop talking and jabbering and rambling. I tend to get that way when I click with something. 200% all in. Head first. Wrapping my head around this class is so exciting.

I am beyond eager to learn and absorb and soak up everything my teachers want to share. I want do everything I can, to be successful with this, so that I can teach Jax. He is just as eager to learn just from hearing me babble like a kindergartner after a Christmas party . I think he felt the excitement in my voice. Maybe he sees deeper in to me than I realize. I think he understands that Mom has come to a point where she needs to reinvent herself and choose her new identity.

I think this is gonna be good.
Being forced to go it alone has really, really, put me in a good place.
Tommy is happy for me.
I am happy for me.

De Anna

Best

Ahhhh........ today started off with pure perfection. It was scheduled last night. Seriously. I always have my days planned. Kinda a freak that way. Unfortunately, my aches and pains don't always like my idea of a schedule. Sunday night was a prime example of the bad things that go on in the middle of the night in this house...... but a post for later, that is.

You see, last night, I made my oh so very organized list of to do things, prepped the house for the new day, worked out with the kids for an hour, figured out my early morning workout, did more and more laundry and got ready for bed. It was only 2049 when I sat down to double check my grocery list. I actually thought that I was going to go to sleep. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA who was I kidding?

Sleep was hard to come by. I think I finally dozed off about 1245. I must have slept well because I was up and ready to Rock the day away at 0430 hrs. I had a workout all planned but by the time I got downstairs, Jax was already working out. I decided on Happy Hundreds. It was the perfect way for the two of us to spend some time together.

The list now had one thing crossed off. Then came the .... errghhh refrigerator. Gross. Just gross. The thought of the kinds of food that were lingering from the Superbowl Game made me gag. I promised Tommy that I was done with the garbage in this house. It is no wonder my workouts suck and my favorite jeans are mocking me.

I threw away anything and everything I could not identify or that I just figured no one needed to ingest. Then I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed some more. We were left with pickles, mustard, some O.J., milk, Olive Garden salad dressing, carrots and apples. Score .... this puppy was ready for the zone again. Pineapple, cheese sticks, turkey slices and monterey jack cheese were going to have a sparkling clean home.

Then I got a most wonderful text from my super Mom buddy. She wanted to know if I wanted a baby fix this morning. Tuesday was just getting better and better by the second. Baby Maryn showed up and my kids changed in an instant. Jax calls her, "baby chubbs." He shocked me when he walked up to me and just took her out of my arms and snuggled her. Brinkley was flaming mad she did not get first dibs at holding her. Pudgie just kept asking, "hey baby, do you want to play swords with me? It was awesome. I agreed that Daddy and Mommy would keep trying for baby number four, just to appease the kiddos. I thought that was the easiest way to drop the subject, until Brinkley proudly announced to her friends at school that, "My Mom and Dad are working on a new baby for us!" YIKES!To me, this was just the perfect way to start a really busy week for Tommy and I.

My refrigerator no longer looks like this.........Somehow, I already feel healthier with it looking like this.................................. What more could a girl want????? I guess the simple things really do make me happy.

I am getting ready to do my second workout of the day. I figure if I really want to get it in gear, two-a-days will force the ultimate diet back onto Tommy and I. We function so much better on the Zone. Let me tell you, Superbowl food leaves a lot to be desired.......Blech.


De Anna

6

One of my goals this year, not having to do with my, "Best I Can Be Challenge, is to let my kids take any friend, or in todays case, three, along with us, when we go somewhere fun. I think it is really important to start letting my kids understand that it is a reward to have friends join us going to all the fun places and doing the fun things that we do together. My parents were awesome about letting us take friends anywhere and everywhere we went, even on vacations. I want that for our kiddos as well. It was not like it was a vacation or anything fantastically outrageous, but we did have some serious fun today.

Jax read the book, "The Lightning Thief," about 3 months ago for his AR goal. He was jumping out of his skin when he found out that there was a movie coming out. We just kept our fingers crossed he would get better for the first day it was showing. NO GO!

Saturday Jax announced we would be heading to see the movie on Monday and we were taking friends. I was all for it. I had no idea how many were going or who it was we were taking, but a day off from school at the theatre was perfect for me. I did stop for about 14 seconds to try to figure out when it was that I allowed Jax to start telling me when we were going to go out and do something and who it was that we were going to take. No worries though, he is such a good kid it makes it really hard for me not to grin and bare it.

This morning one of Brinkley's little friends asked me if her brother was coming too. Mental calculation of car seats and he was all good to go with us as well. With mine in the count, we would be taking 6 to see the movie and I was all excited about it.

Jax, Pudgie, Brinkley, Baylee, Haylee and Caden all loaded up and we set off to see, "Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief." Gena thought I was nuts to attempt it, That, and to actually be looking forward to it.

We hit the theatre at 1250 hrs for the 1315 hrs showing. It was already sold out. BUMMER. What better thing to do then to hit up Johnny Rockets for a delicious lunch together. I wish I had my camera. These kids devoured 8 orders of onion rings, 9 orders of french fries, 4 hot dogs, 6 mini sliders, 2 huge hamburgers, 5 chocolate shakes, one peanut butter chocolate shake, chicken tenders and root beer. It was so much fun watching people stare at me. I wondered if they actually thought they were all mine.

It was actually pretty easy for me. Baylee kept asking me how I was so relaxed with all these kids. I just kept counting to make sure we were all together... and really, I only had to keep Pudgie with me or Jax and we were good to go. I was actually having fun with all 6 of them.

We sat with Justin, Braeden and Hudson and had an absolute blast with all 8 kids. The only complication the entire afternoon was the fact that Jax got suckered into giving up my seat to some girl who gave him puppy dog eyes, while I was out in the lobby getting the popcorn for everyone..... NICE. Gotta teach this kid that girls will try to sucker you with cute little smiles and batting little eye lashes. Needless to say, with a sold out show, Justice and I shared a seat and he happily sat on my lap or between Braeden and I the entire movie. He loves Braeden so he was so proud to share his skittles with him!!!!!!!

This was the perfect day off of school together with all the munchies. Next time Daddy is coming too and maybe we will have to take the Beemer. That way we can bring even more friends with us!!!


De Anna

Lucky Girl......

I am a lucky girl.

I know this. I just tend to forget it some days, err, most days.

I have one thing that many a girls go gaga over. I guess I am so used to it that I don't even pay attention to it, anymore. It needs some serious TLC. It makes it hard to treat it nice when I can't go in there during the day. That, and for the past 4 months it has been the dumping ground for all things Christmas and stuff and more stuff. AGGGGHHHHHH!

You see, there were compromises when we bought our house. Pretty much like any other couple. We opted out of a room that would have gone above Tommy's one car garage. He wanted it badly. It was something like $18,000.00 and we couldn't swing it without giving up a lot that we just were not ready to give up. That left me the delicious 300 or so square feet of closet. Yep, closet, and it is bigger than most peoples' bedrooms. My mom even asked me if she could move into it.

I have started decorating it with my favorite pink paint. Tommy drew the line at pink paint in all of his shoe cubbies. I can understand that. I mean, a girl has gotta give a little. And, after all, I gave him 3 entire shoe cubbies, I think that is fair. Lucky for me, Tommy lets me do whatever I want, most of the time. He is pretty easy and so non-demanding about most things, except where too much pink paint is concerned. I personally think that there is no such thing as too much pink, but I do so love black paint too, so easy compromise!!!

So, my closet, she is a beauty. Until lately, I think I took her for granted. I mean, she really is an extension of our house and since she is so big, I figure I need to give her the TLC she is due! It has tons of nooks and cranny's and it is time for me to re-organize.. I wouldn't want Tommy to think that I don't know what a lucky girl I am!!

Plus, I figure, if I work on my closet, it will keep me from remodeling our kitchen, which is really on my mind, but so does not need to be done. After reading a friends blog about her kitchen redo I joked with Tommy that we could redo all our cabinets (there is a horror story behind this little joke with our first house.....) and it would be really inexpensive. It ain't happening any time soon though. So, on to finishing up the mess that is Jaxi's disaster and then to make my closet worthy of a spread in some fancy schmancy magazine.

I guess I am going to have download the awful before pictures of this ginormica of a mess. EEK! If it were not for the challenge I am doing, I wouldn't dare post my before photos. I am not embarrassed to have a cluttered area, I am sick about it. But, since this is my most major goal for the house, along with redecorating Jaxi's room.... well.... here they are......... in all their messy glory. It is what it is and it is going to get all prettied up!!!


De Anna